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Notes -
I don't think that story is representative of all of Dramione, which is an incredibly prolific genre all by itself.
In the abstract I don't think Dramione and Malfoid would be mirror images of each other - if nothing else, heterosexual male sexuality and heterosexual female sexuality are different, and I find it plausible that female sexuality is, in some contexts, 'rougher' or 'nastier' than male equivalents. Teratophilia, as far as I can tell, is predominantly female, for instance, whereas you don't have to poke male sexual fantasies too hard to find that, beneath the surface level of porn, big-breasted bimbos, etc., there are some softer yearnings there.
And of course, on top of that, fan artists on Twitter, Pixiv, etc., in 2026 are just a different demographic to the teenage girls on the internet in the 2000s who made Dramione such a big thing that it propelled fan fiction authors into real publishing careers.
I don't think it's this clear-cut. I think the ratios are simply different. There are women that complain about being choked and spanked. There are women that complain their hookup stopped when they asked him to. There are men who get their kicks when they can order their girl to do something she hates. There are men who cannot imagine threatening a woman even in jest.
But the supply of men who can dish out the right amount of dominance without scratching the proverbial mirror is severely constrained. Even if the surveys are wrong and there are as many dom men as sub women, in practice there are fewer: some end up with criminal records, some have massive superegos that don't let them express themselves.
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