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naraburns  nihil supernum  1yr ago (text post)   34478 thread views

Culture War Roundup for the week of March 13, 2023

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They are more likely to be paired with a less horny spouse than a more horny one, leading to a higher reported rate of dissatisfying sexual life.

Being the less horny partner can also lead to dissatisfaction with one's sexual life, so I'm not sure that follows.

How does this work in practice? "My wife keeps initiating sex, and I just can't keep up with her insatiable appetite"?

Exactly so. You can't just roll onto her, waggle about for 30 seconds and be done you know? We're talking at least 20 minutes of high cardio when you have been working all day and finally get to relax and here she is, demanding sex again. Or you had sex an hour ago, but she just watched a sexy episode of love island and is in the mood again. So she starts teasing your soldier until he's ready for action, which he will be before long despite feeling like he's been beaten into a coma, and so spent ejaculation feels like passing a kidney stone.

Also, especially with younger and less experienced couples, sexual prowess can be used as a marker of the health of the relationship, so when one of them feels insecure about the relationship they initiate sex to ensure things are ok. This can turn into a vicious cycle where one partner feels like they are a bag of meat for fucking, which makes their partner insecure, which compels them to initiate sex, which makes the other partner feel like fuckmeat.

Pretty much.

You laugh, but that can be true. Mainly it seems for the less-sexed partner, sex then becomes a chore: they have an amount of sex that satisfies them, but not their partner. Then they have to have sex if they're not in the mood, or else there is nagging and whining and passive-aggressive "well it'll be your own fault if I have an affair" at worst.

Even at best, "I'm having sex not because I want it, but because you want it", even if the less-sexed partner is happy to have sex for the purpose of emotional closeness or making their partner happy, can wear down the more-sexed partner; who likes to feel that they are being selfish and demanding and just using the person they are supposed to care about? If the other person doesn't want sex, does that mean they no longer desire you? Are they getting tired and want out of the relationship?

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