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Wellness Wednesday for March 29, 2023

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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As a child, I was rather reclusive. I always preferred books to human interaction, and being dragged out to be paraded before my relatives was something I very much dreaded and avoided.

I distinctly remember that around the age of 10, I felt a whimsical urge to be talkative and nice to an aunt of mine for a change. And I was so overwhelmed with positive feedback when she was happily taken a back by my behavior that it flipped some kind of switch in me, like "hey, isn't being praised nice? Maybe I should interact with people more often!". And that's what I did.

I also approached med school as an opportunity to start over with a blank slate, I faked being more outgoing than I actually am, and while that wore off eventually, I was quite well liked by the majority of my classmates and colleagues. So at least I had people around who'd invite me to places and stop me from being a complete homebody, even when I didn't initiate anything myself.

(I don't know how much weight to put on childhood memories, they can be quite unreliable. That being said, this is a pretty vivid one, that I noted as important even at the time. So my take away is that you should try to fake it till you code switch like a glove and it comes naturally.)