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PaperclipPerfector  11mo ago (text post)   1897 thread views

Wellness Wednesday for May 3, 2023

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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Second, most obese women live many years before progressive, chronic conditions slowly begin to disable them. Most do not suffer catastrophic health emergencies in their 30s. Most do not require home health aides at 45.

I'll agree...unless you're 400 pounds and gaining. I knew a woman that had a catastrophic health emergency in her late 20s; she was around 300 pounds. Another friend's mom is 450 and walking with a cane in her early fifties; she's a sprained ankle away from being bedbound.

Third, do not knowingly inflict a knife-wavingly mentally ill mother on children. That is a much worse option than a sane, stable fat woman.

Yeah, agreed. Hell, the kids being supporting members in a My 600-Lb Life episode is probably less traumatic and damaging than that kind of crazy.

And finally, there is no need to signal to a fat woman that you are willing to play nursemaid. She is not looking for a nursemaid. To offer yourself as one will make her feel profoundly unattractive, which will be a huge turn-off.

I'd agree here if she's still fairly mobile and able to hold down a job.

I'll agree...unless you're 400 pounds and gaining. I knew a woman that had a catastrophic health emergency in her late 20s; she was around 300 pounds. Another friend's mom is 450 and walking with a cane in her early fifties; she's a sprained ankle away from being bedbound.

I don’t think people really understand this well. People can be heavy enough that tripping and landing on your feet can be cause for amputation.

Essentially: the risks of being heavy go up exponentially with weight. You can also easily spiral and become bedbound after an amputation like that...if at 200 pounds you're just a chubby average person with a sprained ankle at 300 you are okay, maybe you break it. At 500? It's now a big deal.

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