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Culture War Roundup for the week of May 15, 2023

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Yeah, and/or a false impression of the franticness and stakes when grappling outside of controlled conditions like in the octagon or in the gym, especially with a wild hobo.

MMA fighters often make it look so calm when they're grappling, as both the choked and choker are trying to conserve as much energy as possible while looking for subtle repositionings or the next opportunity. The stakes are also relatively low; if you have your opponent in a choke-hold but fail to choke him out, maybe you can just choke or knock him out later, maybe it goes to a decision. Worse comes to worse he later makes you tap, or chokes or knocks you out, but it's just another day at the office.

In contrast grappling a wild hobo is much more frantic, like a desperate fight for a knife in the mud. "Crackhead strength" used to be a common phrase. The stakes are much higher if you release your opponent before you're absolutely sure he's out, as he could do anything ranging from biting to stabbing you, or both. While his opponent was not a hobo, and "just" a home invader likely high on drugs, UFC Light Heavyweight Anthony Smith described how terrifying and difficult it can be trying to fight a deranged opponent, even a much-smaller one (albeit with high school wrestling experience): "No normal human is able to fight like that," Smith said. "I'm by no means the baddest dude on the planet. But he's a regular Joe and I had a hard time dealing with him. And he took everything that I gave him—every punch, every knee, every elbow. He took every single one of them and kept fighting me."

I'd much rather get into a street grappling match with a professional or ex-pro MMA fighter than a hobo. While my chances of winning are much lower with a professional MMA fighter (obviously), the downside of losing to a hobo is that you have no idea what he might do to you given an advantageous position—whereas a lot of pro-MMA fighters are quite merciful in street fights (e.g., Matt Serra and Ryan Hall) and most importantly, likely smell better (for example, Luke Rockhold was literally the figurative face of Polo Blue). It would seriously suck, though, if one got into an altercation with someone who sits at the intersection between ex-pro MMA fighter and wild hobo, like Krazy Horse Bennett.