The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
Got ADHD medication; therapists had said for a long time - since I was small - that I had it, but I was too chickenshit to get it and get a diagnosis and treatment. Now that I'm on a low dose of Adderall, I feel much calmer. Not euphoric - calmer, and more able to focus.
I still feel as if any prospects for a romantic relationship are more or less nonexistent and will involve some form of entirely-avoidable tragedy. I'm working on being able to cope with this in an honorable, manly way. A friend's giving me a fashion makeover, which is nice. Looks and the halo effect matters. This sort of thing...well. Let me say that I don't believe any of this shit is going to let me entirely dodge the ambulances that are coming for my partner, or the tragedy - but they are likely to lessen its effect. Soften the blow, maybe give any kids we have role models that allow them to escape some of the dysfunction they see. That is valuable.
My intuition was that it was better to be celibate for life than have a partner that was drinking or eating or drugging themselves to death. It may well be. That being said, there is something to be said for trying your best to make it work in a shitty situation rather than being alone...it is harder, and as such seems like it would build manly character and virtue. You aren't trying to make your life easier (like it would be if you were single), your goal is to make her life easier. Perhaps this is the wisdom that the unattractive gain through sex and relationships: the grapes look sour. You've seen scrawny foxes try and jump and eat the grapes, only to be spitting them out, or getting stomachaches, or shitting their guts out. Stronger and faster foxes have a good time. But the wisdom may come from the act of jumping and eating - never mind the sourness, you have duties as a man.
have you read Plato's Symposium? Particularly Aristophenes' speech, describing how humans are broken and love makes us whole?
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