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Culture War Roundup for the week of June 19, 2023

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Who's expecting you to get into a gay relationship against your sexuality, exactly?

I'm pretty confident most people expect me to avoid relationships, if not interactions altogether, with people I'm attracted to.

Yeah that's not even remotely the same thing, sorry.

It feels like you're both missing or ignoring the other's points here?

I read @Astranagant as having revulsion because pedophilia is terrible. Fair. And there are ways that pedophilia is terrible that don't extend to being homosexual—acting out of pedophilic desires tends to involve power dynamics and large differences in maturity and judgment that wouldn't necessarily be present in a homosexual relationship.

I read @thrownaway24e89172's point as that having to live with having to repress attractions is actually a reasonable thing to expect in some cases. It's also possible to read his comments as saying that he would prefer no such thing, in which case I have a lot less sympathy with his argument.

In any case, @thrownaway24e89172 hasn't addressed the point that there might actually be some rather relevant differences between the two, and @Astranagant hasn't addressed the point that some repression is good, and so the relevant part is where should the lines be drawn.

At least, so I read it.

And there are ways that pedophilia is terrible that don't extend to being homosexual—acting out of pedophilic desires tends to involve power dynamics and large differences in maturity and judgment that wouldn't necessarily be present in a homosexual relationship.

None of the people who sexually abused me when I was younger were sexually attracted to me. None of them saw me as a sexual partner, and in some cases probably didn't even see what they were doing as sexual. I was just a doll they could poke and prod and tease to get funny reactions out of. There's a widespread misconception that not being motivated by sexual attraction makes behavior okay, or at least not sexual, while being motivated by sexual attraction makes behavior not okay, and the LGBT movement (and they are by far not the only ones, EDIT: but they are the topic of this chain) can burn for all I care for their contributions toward reinforcing that misconception in an effort to push all the blame for the harms they cause solely onto my demographic rather than facing their own contributions to harming kids.

It's also possible to read his comments as saying that he would prefer no such thing, in which case I have a lot less sympathy with his argument.

I don't think prefer is the best word to use here. I'm sexually attracted to children, so by definition I'd prefer to be able to act on that. I'm also extremely risk-averse and terrified of inadvertently hurting them (or less sympathetically, terrified of them hating me for it) to the point I'd rather avoid getting involved in such relationships at all than risk having to experience that, so I have few qualms with some level of repression. I resent repression that just amounts to hiding who I am attracted to because people are disgusted by it rather than because it risks harming kids (eg, banning pedophilic fiction, discrimination in activities that don't involve interacting with children). And I have very little patience for other groups openly engaging in more risky behavior that I avoid, while claiming it's okay specifically because they aren't pedophiles and ignoring, downplaying, and/or blaming pedophiles for the fallout when that risk plays out.

No, it is exactly the same thing. You just don't want to admit it because doing so would require either admitting that such repression can be expected of some groups in a tolerant society (and thus it is on the table for gays) or admitting that the LGBT community is not actually a tolerant one (and thus must cede the moral high ground).

It really fucking isn't. I'm perfectly fine with being intolerant of you, thanks. Being seen anywhere near your group is not something we can afford.

I don't begrudge you that position. But similarly, I see no reason to care about people being intolerant of you--supporting your group is not something I can afford. Hence my original comment.