The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Notes -
"Gentlemen" of the motte. What do you expect in return for... being a gentleman.
I was reading a post in my cities subreddit asking "Do you give up your metroseat for women?".
Most responses were along the lines of "no unless they are pregnant". But some were really making an attempt to claim the moral highground. "My mom raised me to be a gentlemen" from the males to "there are no more gentlemen!" From the females.
I was left thinking thats well and good. But no man is actually taking a purely raw deal just because right? He must expect something in return, not from the individual woman, but the social structure as a whole. I dont know.
What is that something?
I don't give up my seat for women. Like the responses you mention, i do give up my seat for expectant mothers, the elderly, the infirm, just like the sign on the train windows suggests. Anyone who seems distressed by standing i might offer my seat. People then refuse and we do the dance and i insist.
As for being a gentleman in the sense you're describing, i don't expect anything. I don't expect anything from taking my cap off indoors either, or removing my shoes at the door, or eating with my utensils instead of my bare fingers. I don't put my feet up on public furniture. I don't cut in line or spread all my stuff out on the train seat. I hold the door for women, but I also hold the door for whomever is walking after me, even if that someone is Dwayne Johnson (so far it hasn't been.) I do help women with heavy things, carrying heavy loads, etc. I don't expect any recompense, though a smile or a thank you is nice. I have never thrown my coat over a puddle of water for a woman to tread on. I do open the door for my wife, except for the times when I don't.
I do these things because I was raised to do them and because they seem benign and probably net positive behavior.
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