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Culture War Roundup for the week of June 26, 2023

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Sorry that they struggle to read in the California Law Review. (They try extra hard to read like morons.)

But try. Try in your own words to explain how "equal protection of the laws" means "no possible categorization in laws" means "no laws". It doesn't. It's not there. Clearly, the context, in Barrett's words, is that there are laws. So, given that there are laws, and you're trying to read this sentence about laws literally, please proceed to explain exactly how your literal reading implies that there are no valid laws. What "protection" would these not valid laws be providing?

I think the quote from the law review article makes that clear.

I'm apparently really dumb. Can you help me out? Can you point me to the specific words in the quote from the law review article where they say how "equal protection of the laws" means "no possible categorization in laws" means "no laws"? Can you point me to the specific words in the quote from the law review article where they describe what "protection" hypothetical not valid laws would be providing?

Are you aware that the article is criticizing the literal interpretation? Not endorsing it?

Yes. In order to criticize something, we need to know what that something is. To be perfectly clear, I'm saying that your (and that article's) presentation of the "literal interpretation" is an absurd strawman that cannot possibly be sustained by even just looking at the text. 'Round these parts, we don't really give much weight to random articles criticizing strawmen. The routine is to ignore them, because of course it's easy to beat up strawmen. I'm not even asking you to go so far as to steelman the literal interpretation; I'm just asking you to even state what you think the literal interpretation is in your own words. I think you're avoiding it, because you can't bring yourself to say the words out of your own mouth that are the absurd strawman; you're better than that and it would hurt your sense of personal standards to do it. So, you're trying to offload the dirty work to some random absurd partisan with a pretty bald appeal to authority.

Dude, I already said that the literal interpretation is that laws must treat everyone the same. That is the dictionary definition of "equal": "the same." But, as I said, all laws treat some people differently than others. Therefore, taken literally, "equal protection" means "no laws."

Again, the point is that NO ONE INTEPRETS THE WORDS OF THE CONSTITUTION LITERALLY. "Congress shall make no law" does not mean "no law." "Speech" does not mean just speech. Etc, etc. Originalists, for example, look at what the words were publicly understood to mean at the time.

Dude, I already said that the literal interpretation is that laws must treat everyone the same.

This part is ipse dixit, and one that strains reality.

That is the dictionary definition of "equal": "the same."

Ok, "the same what"? Where is the part where it says "the laws must treat everyone the same equal"? Where are those words? What "protection" would these not valid laws be providing? You can't just take one single word, "equal", ignore all the rest of the words, and then make up an idea that its literal meaning is that there cannot possibly be any distinctions in any way. That's just not there. You're divining it out of magic (and one word). You're ignoring even the very next word! No remotely rational person would accept your reading as the "literal" one.

You are arguing that "equal protection" does not mean there can't be any distinctions in any way, which I and everyone else agrees with.

Why don't you tell me what you and other remotely rational people think the literal meaning is.

You are arguing that "equal protection" does not mean there can't be any distinctions in any way, which I and everyone else agrees with.

Congrats! You agree with the literal meaning of the words! You had claimed that the literal meaning of the words was something else, but you haven't even tried to explain what that is and why that is even a plausible literal meaning. You haven't even tried, because you can't, because by far, the best literal reading of the words is exactly what you just agreed to.

I mean, you could try. You could just show me where, in the literal words, it says "the laws must treat everyone the same equal". You could just show me, in the literal words, what "protection" these not valid laws would be providing. You could at least try to explain some other meaning that you think is the "literal" one... but you haven't, because your original claim was completely moronic. No plausible literal reading of the words simply takes "equal" to stand completely on its own, completely excised from every other word, and magically interprets it all the way to, "Law cannot make any distinctions whatsoever."

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