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Small-Scale Question Sunday for July 16, 2023

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

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Is anyone of the opinion that even honest, non-coercive casual sex is immoral, for secular reasons? I think I share a common preference among men that I’d rarely pass up on a hookup with an attractive woman but would probably not date a woman long-term who has slept around too much (“too much” is probably decided on a case-by-case basis and there are other factors involved). I can see how that’s hypocritical in one sense. And according to my own value system, I’m denigrating the value of women I have no long-term intentions with but other men with my shared preferences might. But a certain libertarian perspective also says “whatever is honest, legal, and uncoerced is ethical” and men (including me, probably) will just have to learn to settle later in life for women with a higher body count than they deem acceptable.

For a woman, a bit dumb and indicative of low self-esteem?

This nails it (cf. my 20-something self). I don't think morality comes into play so much as just poor decision-making. I'd say most woman grow out of it eventually, so it seems odd to judge one for her past.

How about their present? How do they act now? How do they treat you and others?

When I met my husband, I never asked him about his history. I just observed how he behaved in our relationship. Seems pretty simple to me.