I am disagreeable IRL. Like, everyone I get to know well eventually starts avoiding me. I can find lots of advice for how to deal with other disagreeable people, but not much for people who are themselves disagreeable. Surely some of you lot are the same. Have any of you overcome this? If so, how?
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
What do you mean exactly by "disagreeable" here? Does this mean specifically that you are a contrarian and literally oppose the stated views of people around you? That you "do not suffer fools lightly" (the balm of those who pride themselves on being disagreeable in this way)? Or are you simply unpleasant to be around because you're tetchy, micromanaging, or a know-it-all? The answer to your question is going to depend largely on what you mean here. (The same is true of those websites you mention.)
If you're literally just the type who corrects people all the time or fails at most junctures to try and be pleasant, @cjet79 has good advice, and it's good advice because it involves getting inside your own head and becoming aware of your reactions moment by moment.
The suggestion/question about how you're disagreeable is also relevant (asked by @slothlikesamwise ) because maybe you're just really annoyed and made angry by people around you. Are you? If so, why? Is it because of you, or them? Are there any people you find yourself being more agreeable (here I mean consensus- or rapport-seeking) with? If so, what's going on there? Was there some point in your life where you cared more about what people thought? And finally, are you in any way autistic or otherwise non-neurotypical?
You obviously don't have to answer any of my questions. I'd disagree vehemently with those saying personality is immutable in this way.
More options
Context Copy link