Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?
This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.
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Notes -
Assuming that I survive the Hock, how do you think the experience will change me as a person? Do you think it would make my judgment worse, or make me more likely to try crazy shit like this again?
I think it is unlikely that the Hock will lead you to a healthy and stable romantic relationship with a woman you desire. If the need for a romantic relationship remains unmet then I think whatever thought process that caused you to think the Hock is a solution will manifest again with other unorthodox approaches to your romantic struggles.
It is clear that you have written-off the traditional approaches to resolving your romantic struggles. If the Hock doesn't solve the issue, then I don't think the experience will cause you to revisit the traditional approaches that you have written-off.
Assuming you almost die, but ultimately survive, you will probably be much more likely to avoid considering doing dangerous things again. You could end up with PTSD. Maybe you will become more spiritual or something.
Just to make it clear I in no way endorse the Hock. The benefits are miniscule (or net negative), the risks are enormous, and there are many safer and potentially more effective approaches that you have failed to give serious consideration to.
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