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Is anyone else a successful person living like a NEET/incel? I was a nerdy kid growing up. Went to a technical university with few parties and studied Math. Realized that lectures were pretty boring and that there were better ones on youtube, so spent several years in a small apartment in front of a computer. To break the monotony, I made sure to exercise daily and got in great shape. I ended up working at a major tech company and did pretty well but had terrible work life balance. After inheriting a historic apartment in the downtown of a major city, I moved there even though I had no friends there. Three years later I have a good job, I am tall and in great shape and I live for almost free with views of a cathedral.
Yet my life is not really different from that of a NEET. I wake up at 9, sit in front of the computer for most of the day except for exercise and shopping. I have a limited social life and haven't had a girlfriend in years. My life wouldn't be that different if I was living in my parent's basement and gaming instead of working. The only tangible difference would be that I could order fewer cool things online, and I wouldn't have to answer emails.
I can't decide if I am a winning high status male or an incel loser, I seem to be at both ends of the spectrum at once.
I haven't had a girlfriend in years, but I have low sex-drive. I believe I'm on the autism spectrum and being around people for extended periods of time is emotionally draining to me. I would describe my life as content. Objectively, I have decent career. I'm in situations where I could find a girlfriend if I wanted to, but it doesn't seem worth the effort unless I were to encounter a woman who was very unique and idiosyncratic in ways that complimented my neurodivergence.
There are definitely ways to live a fulfilling life without a romantic partner, but it often requires finding meaning and connection from other sources. I think your limited social life may be a source of dissatisfaction in your life. I am able to get many of my social needs met through a close friend, social events where we talk about deeper topics, and some spiritual exploration.
You might consider asking yourself questions along the lines of:
If you are experience dissatisfaction in areas like those then that would probably indicate that on some level you want more out of life and need to make changes. The changes may be unrelated to your relationship status.
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