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Notes -
Note that in cisHajnal cultures the novel thing is the "large pool". Arranged marriages were an exclusively aristocratic thing, with working and middle class young adults choosing their own partners .
The other thing that has changed, in my view for the worse, is the institution of the boyfriend/girlfriend. Pre sexual revolution, even people choosing a spouse for themselves knew they were choosing a spouse, and acted accordingly. Now people start by choosing someone to have a semi-casual fun-orientated relationship with, and only evaluating them as a spouse if that works out. If you know you want a spouse in the end, this is stupid. But "no matter how much you like your boy/girlfriend, if you wouldn't marry them you should dump them yesterday" is profoundly countercultural advice.
Seems like these two things would be intrinsically related.
If your pool of potential spouses were like a couple dozen large at most, you'd be expecting to get married on the 'first try' and thus you'd focus on picking a spouse from that pool at the start.
If you've got 100+ 'potential' mates, a more casual approach makes some sense as a way to 'test drive' the available options before committing to a purchase, since your odds of getting 'the one' on the first try are small.
What IS definitely different and problematic is the fact that relationships seem to advance at a glacial pace. People are BF/GF for a year, then they move in, then MAYBE they get engaged after another year, and the engagement lasts a year.
A lot of time spent in that interstitial space where technically either side can leave for another partner scott-free.
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