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Wellness Wednesday for January 31, 2024

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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We would need to turn in logs to the regional coordinator. The Au Pair system in the US works through Agencies, you cannot get an Au Pair Visa without going through an Agency. That Agency will need to hire extra people to maintain the level of paperwork that will be required of them. Right now we pay our Agency 10k a year to handle the current paperwork to get the Visa, get the Au Pair in country, work with Embassies, and do the legally required checking up on the Au Pair (she meets with our Area Coordinator once a month in person.) It's expected that the cost of the program might double or triple with the changes.

Was this a deliberate department decision? To make this clearly non workable even though it was 'still available'?

No one will pay 30k to follow the rules for an au pair. If you're in the right state im sure that would be the salary.

It's ostensibly to give the Au Pairs a better standard of living, make sure they're getting a "livable wage" (whatever that means when all their food, utilities, phone, and shelter are being paid for by the host family, and the money they receive is on top of that.) Our Au Pairs have always had more spending money than my husband and I have ever budgeted for ourselves.

I see a lot of Au Pairs complain about the new rules. There is a worry that the opportunity will shrink for most Au Pairs. About 2/3 of host families will be priced out of the new rules. The ones that remain will have a large pool to pick from, and will likely pick the most educated with child-care experience. The 19 year old Au Pairs whose child-care experience comes from raising their three younger siblings and seven cousins will be ignored in favor of the 26 year old college graduate with 4 years of pediatric occupational therapy, who really wants to get their foot in America and this is the first step.

Maybe that's actually good for the United States? Smarter, more dedicated people coming in. But it sucks for me. I probably would not have had the fourth kid had I known the Au Pair system would be wrecked a year in.

Well... that sucks. I still wouldn't make any drastic changes until the rules come into place. It might not be as bad as you fear. And election results might come into play as well.

And, if it's any consolation, my mom was a homemaker and seems to have suffered zero mental slowdown into her mid-seventies.