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Being  1mo ago (text post)   1773 thread views

The Motte Picks Where I Spend the Rest of My Life

Alternative Title: Where would you live if you had only minimal constraints?

While I am very much soliciting genuine requests and hope to follow through on the post title, I hope this prompt will also be a fun one.

Many of us fantasize about living abroad or starting over. But there is always an excuse. Some factor tying us down or preventing us from making the lunge: a job, a partner, a sick relative. I have found myself with these excuses recently plucked away.

Since any (good) recommendation should be tailored to the recipient, here are the aforementioned minimal constraints:

  1. American citizen. Native English speaker.
    • Not restricted to English speaking locations, but the difficulties of learning a language and assimilating should be considered
    • For simplicity and op-sec, assume fluency in other languages can be rounded down to 0
  2. Long Term, Stable Couple
    • All preferences are shared between both of us
    • Do not need to consider relationship prospects of destination
    • Monogamous
    • Straight
  3. Young (~30) years old
  4. No children yet. Will have first (of several) children within next 3 years.
    • No adult dependents (such as sick family members that need to be cared for)
  5. $250k household income
    • Assume standard income growth for competitive tech field: +5-10% real growth per year.
  6. Fully Remote Work
    • This is the big one that opens up the world
    • Assume remote work will remain viable (fair assumption given our fields)

I'm a believer in the idea that constraints can paradoxically increase creativity, but if you have a dream destination that is incompatible with these constraints don't let me stop you from sharing.

The Motte has an eclectic mix of users and I specifically want to know YOUR ideal destination, NOT what you think someone like us would want. The standard lists and rankings of "best places to live" are either bizarre (they overweight metrics that don't matter to most) or end up just being too blank - effectively just a list of major cities.

I'm hoping to discover some unusual preferences. Maybe your dream is a few hundred acres of farmland in a rural spot. Maybe it's something incredibly niche like needing to be walking distance from the Louvre or being able to view the Khumbu at sunrise from your porch. Now is the time to sell me the rest of us on your dream :).

We will be visiting a number of options this summer and would love to add some additional locations to either this trip or the next. The goal is to move to this location early 2025.

Will include some of the options I've been toying with as a comment.

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I'm late to this one, so hopefully this comment doesn't get lost, but I'm about five years older than you, I've got the kids, and I don't have remote-friendly work. Our preferences and situation are otherwise similar. My two cents in no particular order:

  • Don't underrate the crime rate where you go, especially the neighbourhood level crime rate. When I became a parent my aversion to crime and disorder went up a lot. After all, you have precious cargo now.
  • Similarly, the quality of schools will matter a lot. Some places have really large real-estate premiums for good schools. If you think a city is cool, but the house you need to ensure a good education are not affordable, maybe pass on it.
  • When you have kids convenience is everything. This is why, for instance, I don't live in NYC: Things are a hassle when you have lots of time, but when you have kids, you dont have that time anymore so it just becomes horrible.
  • Consider the culture of the place you are moving to. You will always be a transplant, but it will be the "home culture" of your children. For instance, do you want grandchildren? People from large urban cities have ultra-low fertility. If you have 2 kids, you might be rolling the dice on having any grandkids if you live in NYC, SF, or Boston. If you move to France, your children will be French, etc.
  • This are all specific cases of a general point that you are putting down roots here so you need to think if this place will service your needs in the remaining phases of life and mold your children the right way.

If I had your circumstances including income and the knowledge I have now, I would be looking for a wealthy exurb of a major metropolitan area with decent weather, uncrowded natural amenities, and where I'd feel at home culturally. For me this looks like:

  • A commuter town in England's "home counties" -- i.e. within a short train ride or drive from London.
  • Very suburban Washington DC or Connecticut.
  • Maybe more adventurous, but I love Freiburg and the Black Forest generally in Germany.

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