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PaperclipPerfector  24d ago (text post)   2283 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for April 14, 2024

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

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I solicit psychoanalysis. There are some behavioral patterns that bug me a lot! But I have a hard time articulating what exactly. And why exactly.

Read: Failures in Kindness, The Asshole filter. The aforementioned articles capture some of them, the class of behavioral patterns I am talking about.

Both the articles describe 5 distinct behavioral patterns that I can best describe as sloppy. What they have in common are:

  • They achieve the opposite of what they intend.
  • They are female (low agency, low assertiveness) coded.
  • You can make the case they betray a lack of social awareness or how people work in the abstract

Note that these patterns are not negligent, malicious or particularly difficult to oppose.

Nevertheless, my flight or fight response kicks in when I even imagine someone doing any of these things. Why? I am not big on trying to introspect why I feel the way I do, afterall my brain is a mushy piece of shit running caveman software, and I am best of ignoring what ticks off the lizard.

But seriously why? Why do I feel such scorn, revulsion and anxiety at even the mere thought of these behaviors ? Like I literally think you are a lesser being if you ever committed any of these things.

But seriously why? Why do I feel such scorn, revulsion and anxiety at even the mere thought of these behaviors ?

I think it's the indirect manipulation, no? There's an expectation there that you will read, understand and even change your behaviour. And if you don't, you're "the problem".
There are also elements of attempted mind-reading and meta-planning (not just what will happen but in what way to manipulate the events so that the correct ones take place).

I dunno, my attitude whenever I come across this type of thinking is "Just be a reasonable person and spend time with reasonable people."

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