George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
The things you lean on / are things that don't last
User ID: 107
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
16hr ago
Arguably at least the example you give is different than the old man on the train hissing 外人や to his wife when you board.
I make similar jokes about the stink of gaijin or a gaijin ghetto, but that includes as part of the joke the notion that the word has become an epithet.
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
18hr ago
"Shows no loyalty"--if this were true I'd agree with you. I'm not sold that extramarital sex is showing no loyalty. It's certainly a violation of trust, a breaking of a vow, to be discouraged, potentially soul-destroying, etc. And a full-blown affair where the dude is now in love with his mistress, that's an even more egregious violation. This gets down to whether you feel a man who supports his wife and family financially and (as much as possible) emotionally but has had illicit sex with another woman (once or more times) has therefore abdicated all his responsibilities to his wife and family. Arguably he has failed on one front only--granted potentially disastrously. But still one front.
This is similar to saying all lies are equal. Maybe they are. That if you tell any sort of lie, ever, of commission or omission, your pants are on fire. I find this oddly naïve as a view of the world. Possibly I've internalized more of Japanese cultural norms than I usually imagine.
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
18hr ago
I'm not the word police but what's with the easy use of the term pajeet? I don't have a lot of experience with the word but I've seen it around here a few times, though I have always understood it as a slur.
Of course I bridle at the term gaijin as well (a word which, incidentally, may not be uttered by policy on NHK or the Japan national public broadcaster) so maybe I'm oversensitive here. As I say I've probably never heard the word said, and I don't even read it much except on the Motte, which has its share of Indian haters.
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
1d ago
Happy Holidays by Andy Williams was on repeat on an album playing in the nurse's station the night my second son was about to be born. I heard it many, many times as I sat there in an office chair in the wee hours off the hallway of my wife's hospital bed and waited while she experienced labor. I think I had never heard it until 2010. Which is odd. Special place in my heart anyway and I love it. Same with all the Home Alone featured Christmas songs, as well as Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas where I remember that scene in The Victors.
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
1d ago
I thought you Trad Caths were better than that.
No doubt this is meant as a joke but it grates.
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
1d ago
Is that a dare? Sounds like a dare.
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
3d ago
I admire your resolve in standing your ground here. I also dislike the term "shoot your shot" which brings unwelcome images of weird subreddits to mind.
I'd also suggest that like everything there are right and wrong ways to go about (it), with the latter far outnumbering the former.
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
3d ago
Do not underestimate the nebulous wisdom of Sloot. I think he's in the far country of overly cynical and misogynist, but sometimes he is spot on, at least regarding the subset of young attractive females. (Do not ask me to link; I'm going on vibes.)
divorce was considered bad but once it happened it was natural that the father would move on from the children.
This is still commonplace in Japan. Even some married fathers, as long as they send money home, live in a different city from their family (Tokyo, etc.) due to employment, in a set-up called tanshin fun'in/単身赴任. The emotional aspect of a father bonding with his children (in particular dads with daughters) is not considered culturally salient (at least this is my own perspective.) Exceptions abound, no doubt.
A father divorced from his wife, though, yes, it is not uncommon to ask the young person where his or her divorced father is and to receive a shrug in response. Edit: Alimony as we understand it in the US is not a thing here.
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
6d ago
War and war's alarms, yes, more than thirty years ago that I read that one.
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
6d ago
"Oh to be young, and feel love's keen sting." Good luck. If it all goes south, you'll still have the memories.
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
6d ago
I'd second the notion that it will not be easy, and add that sometimes you will feel useless, or in the way, or that you're not clicking and just making matters worse, disruptive, doing nothing, etc. And then you should stay anyway. I do not wish to try and trump your situation by going into a long narrative of my own parents' deaths, but based on having myself lived through those times, I'd say yes, your instinct to be there is the right one. Edit: I am not trying to prematurely push your dad into the grave. Just relating.
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
9d ago
I laughed out loud on the train, thanks.
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
10d ago
professional teaching resources that the students pay for separately
What are these? Does this mean there are no teachers teaching in med school?
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
10d ago
The attack in Bondi seems to have been father/son and all about killing Jews. Regarding the shootings at Brown, don't have a lot of faith in US media to not immediately cloud over actual motives, so at this point, it's still hard to say. Probably just coincidental.
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
11d ago
Gratz. Sorry for the short post I'm in the bath
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
12d ago
That Nation article/hit piece you've linked as presumable evidence against Weiss isn't particularly compelling.
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
15d ago
"Wardrobe malfunction" I believe was the winkwink nudge term. That anyone could be expected to buy that beggars belief. It's one of the many things wrong with us all. Just say "We're sorry we did that on purpose." Or "It's a show, relax" or whatever, instead of deflection so everyone can feel everyone else is fine.
Also commonplace in Japan. Anything to preserve the 和 or wa.
(Note the very first rule of preserving wa is the same as that of Fight Club.)
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
16d ago
As a full on OT geek I will not fault a perfectionist in this case.
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
17d ago
My dad used to say soccer was for the sissies who couldn't play football. But this was Alabama in the 70s.
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
17d ago
The Harmy despecialized edition was very well done, and this was a good while ago. Remastered with all the nonsense removed. I've seen that movie more times than anyone should be allowed to see any movie.
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
18d ago
I'll have you know I am not self-righteous.
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
20d ago
No, because it's brutal. I don't readily wish such experiences on others. Character flaw.
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
20d ago
Guy in my home town played football for the state team. The Tide, as we say. A bit before my time--I was still in elementary school then--but he played well enough that under Bear Bryant he made a name for himself locally. Never went to the NFL but had a respectable following. Graduated, disappeared for a several years then was suddenly back and opening a church, as one does. Charismatic protestant, people speaking in tongues, ran it out of a little part of what we called strip malls back in the day, now I think these outdoor malls are the norm, at least back home, and the old indoor malls are nearly dead. Bama paraphernalia shops, a Victoria's Secret where the customers do not resemble the models on the displays, Spencer's Gifts, Sbarro's with slices of pizza under heat lamps.
I do not recall the name of his church. I believe the word Light was part of it. Many people attended his services. I knew some of them. Twice on Sunday, then Wednesday nights to top you up during the week. Lots of singing and praising God, etc. The dude was a very charming sort, apparently, and athletic even into his older age--though I'm older now than he was then.
He had married at some point and had a daughter who was by then a fetching blonde teenager. You could see a younger version of her mom in her, or at least that was my guess. I heard many stories that they (dad and daughter) were very clingy, would dance together in ways that did not seem, let me say, normal for a father and daughter. One guy I knew claimed to have seen them kissing on a dance floor at the Old L&N Club.
I didn't follow what was going on and I knew even then that people like to run their mouths about other people without any basis, but it's true various sources were whispering the same thing. Whether it was this, or money, or some other scandal, the church went under, just suddenly wasn't there any more. Not that his followers abandoned him. The true believers always said he was a great guy--they all called him by his first name, let's say it was Garrett (it wasn't.) Garrett this, Garrett that, Garrett is a good man, etc. Maybe one or two would say Garrett's ideas about the Lord are wrong because of A B or C but nothing against Garrett.
He seemed to submerge again, then suddenly there was his face in the back of the phone book. Injured? Call Garrett Footballer, free consultation. So he had become am ambulance chaser. Apparently he had also begun (or continued) drinking. And then one night, alone in a suburb, he wrapped his car around a tree and went to be with the Lord. That last part was of course the popular coda at the time. I've never trusted preachers.
Is it? Maybe it is. I wouldn't react well, to be sure. I think in Japan, while marriage is certainly valued (my mother-in-law said to me 浮気したらだめでしょ the night I had proposed to her daugther. This means basically "Don't cheat on her.") at the same time the true fuckup is not the tryst with a hostess or whoever, but making it public, or bringing knowledge of this into the household. The disruption of the wa That's the dealbreaker. That's when you bring shame down on everyone.
Even then, if the mistress is employed as part of her job to woo the man (as in a hostess) in Japan this is not grounds for divorce for the woman--or at least the wife cannot receive monetary damages from the woman, as she would otherwise be able to do were the relationship seen as an emotional bond (as in the traditional mistress.) This is termed 枕営業 or makura eigyo (literally pillow work.) The idea, if I understand it, is that the interaction was transactional in a sense, and that there was no emotional bond. Interesting as well since prostitution is technically illegal in Japan (though rampant in probably any form you can imagine.)
Law in Japan is as slippery as it is elsewhere.
I realize you weren't talking about law itself, but morality. In Japan infidelity is in some sense seen as an inevitability at some point or another, by many. This is, like everything else, changing as society changes. Keep in mind there was never a real "sexual revolution" in Japan, as sex has always been one bin in the bento box, separate from everything else. You can get a fucking headache trying to figure out what's going on sometimes.
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