ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
No bio...
User ID: 1012
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
4d ago
Only when they're paying $5.99 a minute.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
8d ago
Yeah, it's definitely bleak. And no, not at all. That's when my habit it at my worst. Usually it's an hour a day, including reading Substack and TheMotte. But I'm pretty sure there are a lot of people out there who are on their phones even more than I described, especially prolific Twitter and Reddit posters.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
9d ago
I think it just means you're online but not "extremely" online. On my worst days I will look at my phone for several hours. Start the day looking at it, eat while looking at it, look at it at the gym, look at it as I go to bed. Essentially I will be looking at it continuously unless I'm doing something that absolutely requires me not to (like work, or cooking, or talking to someone). I've seen new things pop up in my feeds that get discussed to death over a short span (~hours) and then very quickly morph into acronyms or mutated meme versions of the original name for the thing. Unless you are truly near constantly on X or Reddit or whatever your knowledge of what's current can become out of date in less than a day and these new terms become hard to understand. So I think what you're describing is just inevitable if you're not completely plugged in all the time.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
11d ago
I could believe it.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
11d ago
I dunno, I have been and am pro-Trump and I mostly agree with this:
Trump’s policies, such as they are, offer little substance to those suffering from addiction, joblessness, and downward mobility.
Trump doesn't have much of a vision, he operates on 110% perceptions and vibes. I've been saying since 2016 that I vote for him not because I think he will fix America, but because he's a metaphorical Molotov cocktail thrown through the window of the Uniparty HQ. 2016 Trump was just one Molotov and failed to do lasting damage, and so I hope 2024 Punished Trump will be a dozen of them and will actually catch the structure on fire and opens space for people with actually good ideas to maneuver. Vance has to flatter Trump's ego to have a shot at changing America in the way he would like. I think he's too smart for his apparent conversion to be real. He's riding coattails and waiting for the right moment.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
11d ago
There is no shortage of activist judges, so I have to imagine that there are powerful people holding back most of the farcical and nakedly partisan potential Trump prosecutions and who are only strategically letting some through in controlled, well-timed escalations. Otherwise I'm sure he'd already have a dozen prison sentences in random jurisdictions.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
17d ago
Yep, living in rural Japan.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
18d ago
Do you work remotely? I'm full remote, and I've thought about making a home gym, but then the gym is one of my few excuses to leave the house, so I'm worried I'll end up with cabin fever.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
18d ago
Bought a $10 Hario cold brew pitcher for my fridge. It's easy to use and the coffee is pretty good. I used to dick around with a $40 Filtron and its gnarly cloth(?) drip filters, but maintenance was a PITA. This is so much easier and ~90% as delicious.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
18d ago
what is that like?
It's a mixed bag, overall I slightly prefer my home country (the US).
What prompted the move?
My wife is native to this country and we wanted to raise our kids bilingual/bicultural.
What have been the biggest challenges?
It's crazy expensive to pay for an overseas family move without moving assistance from the military, your company, etc. I worked a contract job on top of my full time job for about a year to save up enough (my wife is a SAHM).
It's also pretty lonely sometimes. Living abroad is fun when you're young and single and have lots of free time, but as a married family man, it's mostly the same as living back home except I have to deal with laws and social customs that are hard for me to understand. And because I'm no longer a baby faced bright eyed 22 year old but a 30-something year old head of a household it's no longer "cute" when I get confused or make a mistake, so I get cut less slack.
What have been the greatest rewards?
Seeing my kids participate in culture events, festivals, learn traditional songs, become fluent with their own way of speaking in the local language, and more. I think we've done a good job getting them educated and well integrated into this society. Personally I feel like it has scratched my wife and my "I want to live overseas" itch so I can return to the US and not be tormented by what could have been. I've also developed a hobby of making a local alcoholic drinks and pickled vegetables. And gardening, although I guess I could've done that anywhere.
Anything which was surprising to you, that you never would have thought to even consider before making the move?
Many small things, but one major one that stands out is how accepting people have been of me and my half-foreign family despite this country famously being "closed" socially (and having been "closed" historically in a much more literal sense). Local people don't treat me like a tourist because tourists almost never come out here, so I think they assume that I belong here even if they don't know me. It also helps that I have kids in the local school system.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
19d ago
It's great if you have a friendly priest, but IME a lot of them are overworked, tired, apathetic, uneducated, and/or unorthodox. In those cases, a good Catholic friend is probably your next best bet. The Catechism is good, but since it's just a book, it won't give you an answer tailored to your specific circumstances that takes into account mitigating/aggravating factors, your intent, your history, etc etc.
I used to be more scrupulous about small infractions and I would get stuck wondering whether or not doing something was strictly allowed, but these days I just try to recall what I've studied and apply the general principles to my situation to the best of my ability in the moment. It's always good to reflect at the end of the day to check where you succeed and where you failed ("examination of conscience") and then do further reading if needed. It helps calibrate your sense of right and wrong without you overthinking in the moment and falling into analysis paralysis.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
19d ago
For me, it's "extreme/ist/ism." It's the dumbest and most obvious boo-light ever ("anti-abortion extremists! open borders extremists! Tea Party extremism! Extreme political views!"). Extreme relative to what, exactly? I think its use could have been slightly (but only slightly) more excusable a century or so ago when there was a broader social and political consensus, but now those words are just used to exploit the lingering but fast fading memory of Normal and Decent Times in the minds of inattentive readers.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
25d ago
I've worked in IT/dev for about 10 years, and I've found these things to all be true both in functional and dysfunctional workplaces, although they are more important in the latter. If you have a fantastic, altruistic manager, you might be able to ignore some of these, but even then it's probably unwise.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
29d ago
No worries, maybe I misread. All good.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
30d ago
Yes?
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
1mo ago
A more moderate interpretation of the Benedict Option I've heard is that while a negative world makes it impossible to fully participate in the culture and necessitates at least some form of withdrawal to avoid the effects of the secular acid bath on the conscience, the goal is not to turn fully inward but to strengthen faith and communities so that there is a strong foundation of art, culture, and tradition from which to evangelize. This is similar to Dreher's idea but differs in degree. It wouldn't entail a complete, multigenerational Amish-like retreat from broader society, but rather 1-2 generations of intentionally forming communities that still engage partially with the wider culture.
I may be overgeneralizing my own experience, but IMHO it's at least in part because while many people came together to discuss their apparently irreconcilable differences over the last 10-15 years, ultimately they found that their differences were indeed irreconcilable, and left disappointed and/or righteously angry. Most Mottizens, and I'd argue truth-seeking netizens in general, are now very familiar with the basic shapes of both sides' arguments, and so when CW issue de jour #2567 pops up they can usually predict with some accuracy what each side will say. The conversation is therefore mostly no longer interesting. Battle lines have been drawn in the wider culture, and now we're all just waiting for (or actively working towards) one of the factions to emerge victorious.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
1mo ago
I think @George_E_Hale is right that they've cleaned or dumped stuff because in the morning they sometimes smell more like a dumpster than a ramen shop.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
1mo ago
Within Japan, expatriate women from North America (US and Canada) or Europe are either: 1) Divorced 2) married to or the consort of a Japanese man. 1) Will be politically progressive 2) will be neutral, disinterested, or conservative
I have honestly been puzzled by every white woman I've met in Japan. They all seem a bit resentful; my cynical and uncharitable opinion is that they're experiencing for the first time what it's like to not be constantly pursued and indulged. The ones married to Japanese dudes also seemed a bit odd and not very satisfied, although I admit my sample size there is <5 so that might not be a fair generalization.
Guys with little hair but big bushy, Zeus-like beards will eventually annoy the shit out of me.
Overweight dudes with those bushy beards just ooze insecurity and usually act like they've got something to prove. Beards in general mark people as tryhard. Not all beards are bad though, I met a dude in his 50s who was small in stature but very lean. He had a medium length salt and pepper beard that made him look like some sort of frontiersman chad. I guess it works if you'd be equally confident clean shaven and don't seem like you're hiding behind the beard.
The allure of the smell of ramen shops is inversely related to the hour of day-- meaning in early morning the smell is revolting. Late night, enticing.
This goes for any restaurant that does agemono, too. Nightlife districts are putrid during the day. Reminds me of morning on Bourbon street, yuck.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
1mo ago
At what point do the rapid destabilizing demographics shifts and apparent deep corruption by foreign powers turn Canada into a national security problem for America? If things go south up north, are we going to have all those "new Canadians" hopping the border to the U.S. and bringing Canada's social ills with them? Is anyone in the U.S. govt thinking about this?
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
1mo ago
I've heard of it before, and if I had the chance I would definitely try it! I had fermented skate in Korea once. It had a very unique and pungent taste.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
1mo ago
It's a beautiful day in rural Kanto and I'm off work today and have had several Sakurao gin daisies, and so I regret to say that cannot write a coherent response worthy of your post.
But I will say that your points are well taken and I can't disagree with any of it... except that I swear I've seen tits in manga magazines marketed towards teenage boys. I know the more intentionally titillating stuff you're mentioning, and it wasn't that. But maybe I just mistook the market for the comic I was reading, I dunno.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
1mo ago
I didn't grow up with it and I love it. Then again I enjoy most fermentated foods I've tried, so I'm probably not normal in that regard.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '21
1mo ago
Thänk you.
TIL I like Phil Mickelson. That's how I've always fantasized I'd answer a question like that.
"How do you feel about accepting money for $PROJECT from known ism-ist-ophobes? Will you disavow??"
"Well at the time I felt good about it, but now that you're asking, I suppose I'd have to admit that I feel absolutely great about it. Simply thrilled, really. In fact, I think I'll fly back next Friday to have dinner with them and take some photos together for my professional homepage. I'll buy you a plane ticket so you can join me, they love journalists."
I'd have to work on something spicier but you get the gist.
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