Awarenesss
11mo ago
Please link the studies.
Awarenesss
1yr ago
I would like to share essays I write to "move past [my potentially] shady thinking and test [my] ideas in a court of people who don't all share the same biases". I don't think they merit a standalone post because they're not that good.
Is there a best, catch-all thread to post these in? SSQS would be the best imo, with the simple questions "thoughts on my writing?". Most of the essays don't fit in any of the other threads.
I wonder if this merits another weekly thread ("Scribes' Sharing Saturday"—thanks, ChatGPT!) to allow people to share their writings/more-refined thoughts that don't belong in any of the other threads?
Awarenesss
1yr ago
Yes, taxes. It went up by $400/mo last year, and I expect another $100/mo again this year. That’s not minuscule to me. But you’re right—long-term it mostly washes out.
Awarenesss
1yr ago
Do you have a source on said underhanded tactics?
Awarenesss
1yr ago
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The problem lies in I may not always get the choice. We're going to a house party or bar if my girlfriend wants to go (not that she's unreasonable in wanting to go there!). This is what makes me want to fix this issue.
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I like the sharing idea. Maybe an activity or game could also work.
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I have a history of being slightly reliant on substances to help ease social anxiety, so I will be avoiding this one. I think it can definitely work for some people.
Awarenesss
1yr ago
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I cannot do for stated reasons.
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If Bob messes up, I potentially pay a lot for it in the form of work-life balance or reputation (even if it's Bob's fault, my name may still be attached to the mess-up).
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Grass is always greener and I love my job. It seems the world is full of Charlies and Bobs. I wonder how the frequency changes based on size, prestige, etc.
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I think this is the only option based on everything I've tried over the past year. Any advice here?
Awarenesss
1yr ago
The “average” part refers to my current life situation and income level, not the financially independent part :)
Awarenesss
1yr ago
Have you tried intentionally progressing your exposure therapy methods? I keep a list of progressive exercises:
Go out in a public place
Go out in a popular, crowded public place (bar, club, restaurant, sports game)
Make eye contact with a person
Smile at a person
Ring the bell on a bicycle to get through (source)
Ask a person what time it is
Comment on a post in a large online forum
Comment on a post in a small online forum
Call the waiter in a crowded restaurant (source)
Call a close family member
Call a close friend
Call a distant family member
Call a distant friend
Disagree with a person
Leave and re-enter a movie theater during the movie while seated in the middle of a row (source)
Call a business to ask a question or place an order
Ask a question during a work meeting (source)
Cold email someone
Publish a standalone post on a large online forum
Publish a standalone post on a small online forum
Delegate a task to a person
Cold call someone
Admit being wrong in private
Admit being wrong in public
Present at work (source)
Ask for abnormal accommodations at a business (keeping a large water bottle at the table for self-refills, etc)
Ask what tipping customs are when in a foreign country
Send food back because it wasn't correct or is very poor quality
Ask for things (cigarettes, lighter, money, borrow a phone)
Sing in public (karaoke, on the street, etc)
Dance in public
Go to a foreign country without speaking the language well
Compliment a person
Walk backwards slowly in a crowded street for three minutes (source)
Cold approach a person
Ask a person playing music out loud or having a conversation on speaker to put headphones in or turn off speaker
Ask multiple people in a specific and obvious location (e.g., right outside XXX Park, or a T stop) where to find that location (“Excuse me, I am looking for XXX Park”) (source)
Wear a shirt backward and inside out and buttoned incorrectly in a crowded store (source)
Dance or sing in the street or subway wearing attention-grabbing clothing (source)
Recite “Twas the Night Before Christmas” in the subway platform (source)
Approach group of people at bar or restaurant and ask if you can practice a best man’s toast (source)
Tell someone at bookstore that you don’t know how to read and ask them if they can read the back cover to you (source)
Ask a staff member in bookstore for their opinion about whether to buy the Kama Sutra or the Joy of Sex, have a long conversation about this, buy the books and then return them immediately (source)
Enter a food establishment and interrupt people asking if they own a silver Camry because their car is being towed (source)
Go to every table in a crowded restaurant asking for Joe Smith (source)
Go to a fast food restaurant and only order water, then spill the water, clean it up, and stay in the restaurant (source)
Go to a hotel. Have the patient conduct a long conversation with the concierge about romantic vacation packages (asking about in-room massages, arranging horse-drawn carriage ride, etc.), book a package, and then cancel for no reason except changing their mind (source)
Pay for an embarrassing item with change, and then state that you don’t have enough and leave the store (source)
Initiate conversations with/tell jokes to strangers in bookstore while wearing hair in a side ponytail with bandages on face (source)
Attend a multi-level marketing pitch and saying no
Cold approach and flirt with a person
Cold approach and flirt with a person with the intention of getting their contact information
Go to a random person's house and ask if you can cook them dinner in their house
Go to a foreign country without speaking the language at all
Perform stand-up comedy
Awarenesss
2yr ago
I like the meal idea. C is an excellent chef and enjoys cooking for others, so that shouldn't be too much of an issue. The other rules are a good idea.
Awarenesss
2yr ago
There is a half bathroom he can use, but showering/getting ready would be mine. I've also thought about this and have yet to actually speak to him about it. I plan to take a hefty amount off the monthly rent I'm charging.
Awarenesss
2yr ago
Most of the Indian restaurants I've visited have an online ordering option. If not, I'd ask an Indian friend to order for me.
Agreed on the palate cleansing. I think a small dose of food plus milk will be fine. We'll see at the first try.
Awarenesss
2yr ago
I've seen that at Thai restaurants, but not the Indian places in my area.
I do want to blind it. Thanks for the design suggestion!
Awarenesss
2yr ago
I have, but that's not the point of my experiment. I want to see if they are discriminating against non-Indians without being asked to increase the spice.
Awarenesss
11mo ago
Thanks! Completely missed that version.
Market was probably the wrong word to use here. I’d transcribe and offer for free via Internet Archive or similar, but I think that would still be infringement. Ah well!
Awarenesss
11mo ago
I just got back from Boston a few weeks ago. I found just walking around the city to be very fun.
A few touristy recommendations in no particular order:
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Kane's Donuts (did you know the Boston Creme Donut is legally the official donut of Massachusetts?)
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Freedom Trail
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Bunker Hill monument (although they prevent people from climbing if the heat index is greater than 95 °F—weak!)
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F1 arcade
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Monica's Mercato: delicious, massive sandwiches inside a small Italian grocery store
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My group played a very fun game of sardines at Public Garden
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If you're a chess player, there's a hustler (who may not be good enough to earn that title) who plays outside of the Sam Adams taphouse for free (tips encouraged) and is decent. He beat me, but tried to cheat in the process, so whoop his ass for me if you do end up playing.
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Cambridge area
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Charles River esplanade
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Fenway Park, as others have mentioned. I'm not a baseball fan but was getting major FOMO when I dropped my friends off to continue exploring.
Awarenesss
1yr ago
Is there a specific essay that talks about this? Or is it a general theme of the blog? I read a handful of essays that spoke a bit about this, but nothing devoted entirely to it.
Awarenesss
1yr ago
I try to turn "normie" topic into deeper convos but it never sticks, and I can't tell if it's me or them. (I'm the common link, but they are also similar people, so it's difficult to tell.)
Ending boring conversations is something I can do better at. I'll have to practice ending them so as to not leave a sour taste in either of our mouths.
Awarenesss
1yr ago
I strongly agree with your "people rarely change" statement and that's the attitude I have. I have tried to change the incentive structure for Bob by highlighting his massive shortcomings to Charlie, but to no avail as stated. I'll continue to brainstorm other ways.
Awarenesss
1yr ago
Because we are "supposed to be a team" and "supposed to help each other out". There's no refusing to work on things here because other people are incompetent. (Kind of crazy to say that out loud!) The nuances are difficult to explain over text.
Two more examples to help paint a picture:
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Parts regularly fail on our tools and it is our responsibility to make sure we have them in stock, including parts that have never failed before. If I asked Bob to ensure we have stock of part1, but he doesn't do that and that part fails on my tool, then I'm still responsible—it doesn't matter that Bob's tools also use the part.
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If Bob made a system-wide change and that messed up my tools, I would still be responsible and have to report out on it. I've been reprimanded before for "throwing others under the bus", despite it clearly and fully being their fault.
Awarenesss
2yr ago
Just a main living room and loft area. All of us are employed: I'm gone 630-5, OCF will be 8-5, C is WFH, and CGF is WFH/office hybrid, so we won't see each other too much.
Awarenesss
1yr ago
Can you post screenshots of the convos?
Awarenesss
6mo ago
Have you considered asking an LLM? I bet they would give great ideas, plus you can personalize it by providing extra info.
I think it is copyrighted. See "Access And Usage Rights" section here: https://collections.library.yale.edu/catalog/12481060
More options
Context Copy link