CertainlyWorse
No one is coming to help. It's just you.
One of the great unwashed.
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User ID: 333
CertainlyWorse
No one is coming to help. It's just you.
3d ago
Just like finding a good PCP that will actually listen to your concerns and tailor their advice/treatment to you accordingly, finding a good counselor that will do the same is possible (they exist!), but you might not necessarily find one your first time out of the gate, so I'd advise patience and willingness to go elsewhere to find a good fit. One other thing to address is that since you're doing individual counseling, as a rule good individual therapy will focus your needs, and any relationship counseling will come from the perspective of what is best for you, regardless of whether or not that's at odds with what is best for the relationship.
Yes, I've done therapy before so I'm pretty much expecting that the first counselor I try might not be a good fit. Especially considering its a woman.
I have had a good female counselor before, but considering the things I'm going to say, I just don't know if your average female counselor will be able to focus her empathy and bend her point of view enough to accommodate male needs in a relationship (emotional as well as physical). I'll see how I go, but at least I'm managing my expectations going in. If she doesn't work, I'll shop around to find a guy rather than wasting time and money trying multiple women.
CertainlyWorse
No one is coming to help. It's just you.
4d ago
It is hard to get used to safely managing violence.
This is the core issue. Violence is easy. Minimal amount of violence necessary to achieve your goal, with the understanding your actions will be under the microscope in hindsight by others with all the time in the world is very difficult.
I have so much respect for healthcare security and medical staff for dealing with the worst of humanity.
Do you know what cops do when they assess that someone is out of their minds (either psychologically, or due to drugs)? They drop them off at the nearest ER, shrug, and say 'your problem now.' The worst types of criminals and mentally ill aren't dealt with by cops, but the healthcare system. The medical staff are meant to treat someone in a psychotic aggressive state without harming them or allowing themselves to come to harm. Imagine a George Floyd once a week except he's screaming and trying to bite your face off like a fast moving zombie from 28 Days Later.
Get it wrong and you've lost a digit, been stabbed with a junkie needle or are in fear of losing your job based on the outcome of an administrative panel review (that cares about the corporate image more than your wellbeing).
You couldn't pay me enough to do that.
CertainlyWorse
No one is coming to help. It's just you.
6d ago
I'll keep it in mind to build some rapport before dumping on them. Luckily I'm doing individual counseling only, so I won't need to worry about them taking sides. I'll be the only one they meet.
CertainlyWorse
No one is coming to help. It's just you.
6d ago
Because marriage is between a man and a woman straight up. Happy for them to have equal legal protection.
CertainlyWorse
No one is coming to help. It's just you.
6d ago
Does anyone have any advice around relationships counselors in Western countries? Particularly regarding 'counselors' (eg did a counseling course with accreditation) vs actual trained psychologists. I'm looking at seeing one individually, but unsurprisingly there aren't any male counselors available so I'm trying my luck with a female one. I'm concerned that a woman won't be able to properly empathise with a male point of view, and might balk at certain 'how the sausage gets made' conversations.
This isn't for anything critical, just relationship advice regarding my specific situation (with details I wouldn't share here, even incognito).
CertainlyWorse
No one is coming to help. It's just you.
6d ago
The gay marriage debate was always built around forcing society to give gay unions as much respect and reverence as regular marriage. It's stolen valour. If they want those unions to be respected then they should prove it through example that they are serious partnerships meant to last for life. They know about the instability and promiscuity rife in gay relationships and the big question marks hanging over child rearing by gay parents, but want you to ignore all that because there are laws telling you to do so. You're meant to pretend its the same as an institution with more than 4000 years of history behind it.
Edit: Should make it clear I'm all for equal legal rights in gay unions. I'm just against calling it marriage.
There's something to this. Death was meant to be suffered by the others. The Karen class as never meant to endure the ultimate consequences of their actions. No wonder so the post-shooting protests were so virulent. The group that makes up the majority of progressive organisers has finally been attacked.
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