HaveAtThee
1mo ago
Strong disagree. The last few girlfriends I've had we're all from dating apps and having good text game with them prior to the first date was essential. Chat with them, tell them good morning, tell them good night (optional kissy emoji), ask them what they're up, exchange pics of pets or hikes you've done recently, send pictures of whatever you made for dinner (if it looks appetizing), and--critically--send them memes. Send them memes, make them laugh. And yes, you absolutely can get to know someone a bit before you meet in person and if they feel like they know you a bit, you've made them laugh, and given them a peak into your life, they'll be way less likely to flake.
HaveAtThee
3mo ago
I've noticed this a lot in my social circle - in the couples it's almost always the guy who does most of the cooking and enjoys cooking a lot more than the girlfriend/wife. The guys also geek out together over recipe ideas, Kenji videos, and cooking products. It's a hobby for them, a way to experiment and tinker. It's also a way for men to feel like providers for women in an era when women don't need them to survive.
HaveAtThee
3mo ago
Lately, I've been listening to the "Unauthorized History of the Pacific War" podcast, which is about the Pacific Theater of World War 2. I especially like the episodes that have Jon Parshall on as a guest (he's the author of "Shattered Sword", about the Battle of Midway)
HaveAtThee
4mo ago
Where does that theory come from anyway? Jews are clearly way overrepresented in high quant ability too. Are they all that skewed toward being wordcels?
HaveAtThee
6mo ago
Have you tried using any genealogy database sites like FamilySearch (operated by the LDS, but it's very comprehensive, especially for Anglos)? You might be able to use the info you have to construct a partial family tree and connect it with existing family trees on the site from distant relatives of yours. That might help you find a bunch of people who are still alive.
HaveAtThee
6mo ago
Any Mottizens do martial arts? Is Brazilian jiu-jitsu a good choice or has my mind been poisoned by misinformation from Jocko Willink and Joe Rogan?
HaveAtThee
7mo ago
I've been attempting things like this. I'm from the US and living in France for the next few months. So far something I've had some success with is: go to a tourist site of some kind, approach a pretty girl who's by herself, say hi ask her to take a picture of me (in French), offer to do the same, apologize for my accent, and then see if she's interested in chatting. At that point, she can obviously ask me about where I'm from, what I'm doing in France, etc. and I can ask similar questions.
I've tried this a few times and twice it led to us getting coffee or food together after (but nothing beyond that).
I'd like to learn other ways of going about it though.
HaveAtThee
7mo ago
How are you initiating the conversations?
HaveAtThee
7mo ago
I'll use French as an example because I started learning it a few years ago in my 20s and currently speak pretty good French.
The time you spend learning a language doesn't have to be a pure sunk cost. You can go to language learning meetups where you'll make friends and have fun socializing in French. You can find girls on dating apps who speak French and practice with them as a way to flirt and build a rapport. You can watch/listen to stuff in French and learn about other topics as you learn French. You can meet lots of interesting people on platforms like iTalki. There are many ways to practice besides just grinding Duolingo.
HaveAtThee
7mo ago
Have friends over for dinner, sit everyone down around the table to eat, tell everyone we need to say grace first (being secular people, they look around confused), ask everyone to hold hands, then say "grace!"
HaveAtThee
7mo ago
Velvet Underground is always described as a "group no one listened to, but everyone who did founded a band." A lot of my favorite music (David Bowie, Jesus Mary and Chain, Sonic Youth, Strokes, La Femme) is pretty obviously influenced by them and there are a lot of others besides the ones I listed.
Kenji Lopez-Alt is every cooking YouTuber's favorite cooking YouTuber (he's also my favorite cooking YouTuber). In turn, Kenji's favorite chef seems to be Jacques Pépin.
HaveAtThee
7mo ago
Can you play games that involve physical activity together? Stuff like tennis or squash where you'll run around a lot and burn calories. Plus they're a lot of fun.
HaveAtThee
9mo ago
Out of curiosity, what made it hard for you to get into it initially?
HaveAtThee
9mo ago
Not yet - I'm still slowly making my way through Hyrule in the BoTW. It's taken me over a year and counting to finish the game; I only play a few hours a week and when I play, I explore every nook and cranny because I find the map so enchanting and fun. The sense of "childlike wonder", as the OP put it, is still going strong.
What about you?
HaveAtThee
9mo ago
Last year when I started playing Breath of the Wild
HaveAtThee
1yr ago
Haven't watched this new one yet, but I agree Montemayor is fantastic. His "Midway Told from the Japanese Perspective" video is the pinnacle of the entire genre. I'd even say it's one of the best pieces of military history content I've ever seen.
HaveAtThee
1yr ago
In case your team doesn't already do this, pick a style guide and automated style enforcer and have everyone use them automatically in their editors or when they commit. For example, black, isort, and flake8 for Python. If everyone's code is automatically made more stylistically similar, it cuts down on superficial stuff for people to bicker about during code review.
I also think about the Paul Graham maxim "keep your identity small" to avoid taking critiques of my code personally. I try to avoid identifying with my code too much and just see it as problem-solving.
Yes, love that show. When I was a teenager I watched it on the Military Channel and a few years ago rewatched a lot of episodes on YouTube.
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