KingOfTheBailey
No bio...
User ID: 1089
It's like this because you're in one of the rare online venues where thoroughness is rewarded, and the parent parent parent culture of LessWrong seeded ours with norms around writing massive walls of text.
Most of GP's advice is about not shooting yourself in the foot. How not to get your likes ignored. How not to have a conversation fizzle out. etc. Get to the date and enjoy spending time with women, even if they're not the women you'll end up dating long-term or marrying.
Or you could just attempt The Hock, I guess?
I wound down my Hinge account because I stumbled into a promising relationship with a girl I knew IRL, but this rings true for me. At the time I wrapped things up, I was getting enough dates with women that I was excited to meet without being overwhelmed by the volume, and had to disappoint several decent-sounding women before I deleted.
Seconding the recommendation to use positive, information-dense prompts. The poll option on your profile is particularly good for this, as it lets you put three positive aspects of yourself into a single widget.
On messaging: here are some decent templates. https://killyourinnerloser.com/tinder-guide-3/#chapter-1-templates
I like these because they push inexorably towards a date, but I had more success not following them than forcing the conversation back onto those rails. Unlike the author of that series, I was looking for an LTR, not to get laid as frequently as possible. But the permission to always move towards a date (if not directly), and to be a little bit sexual and direct, was very useful in setting my intentions on the platform.
Also, Hinge has capped the number of open conversations on a user's account. This is a good thing, as it forces both men and women to either get to the point and arrange a date, or to unmatch and move on.
On getting matched from your likes: I never could tell if Hinge used a stack or a queue for incoming matches. It might show the newest incoming likes first and then maintain a queue after that or something, I dunno. But it often happened that I would get a slow rise in matches coming in a few weeks after I started, usually around the time I began to despair. Have patience.
OP should also think about approaching women in real life. A lot of them complain on the apps that they only have accounts because nobody talks IRL any more.
More options
Context Copy link