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SkookumTree


				

				

				
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joined 2023 January 21 01:36:22 UTC

				

User ID: 2117

SkookumTree


				
				
				

				
3 followers   follows 0 users   joined 2023 January 21 01:36:22 UTC

					

No bio...


					

User ID: 2117

Yeah. Hopefully you can get them good lawyers and home health aides, if they need them.

I mean. Be remarkable, or decide where you want the ambulances. It is that simple. This has always been the way of the world for unattractive people, men and women. The women are just the ambulance patients.

So too, creating real risk is also a feature not a bug. If one autistic manlet in a thousand did hard time or died for being presumptuous...well, that's a feature, not a bug. Remember that the most masculine thing a man can do is to go to war. Real attractive masculinity is made up of shit that makes the red pill look like a Sunday school.

You can probably be happy riding shotgun in ambulances with your partner as the patient. Beats being the patient.

Choosing some people by lot for celibate life paths does not seem like a terrible idea. Someone has to drive truck or some other occupation that meshes poorly with marriage and family life.

I am sorry for not being insufficiently clear. For a lot of things, there are three (not two) levels. Rich, middle class, and poor. Attractive, average, and unattractive. Hell, strong as fuck, average, and puny. My intention wasn't to say the equivalent of "If you ain't rich, you're a hobo begging for spare change"; that is just straight up false. I meant to say that if you were unattractive (as distinct from average) your dating options sucked.

Also, there are exceptions. I knew one.

I can usually make friends with anyone, from bona fide meth addicts to rich girls who went to posh boarding schools to Trump partisans to enthusiast tabletop gamers.

Yeah - that's exceptional and counts for a lot. Also, it's supposed to be hard for guys like you - the only guy your height I know who isn't with someone morbidly obese or crazy is a future neurosurgeon with enough charisma for a career in politics.

Nobody was ever uncomfortable with the thought that you'd be anything other than a celibate programmer? And you're on the spectrum? Interesting. Also, how'd you get that charismatic? Can you get people to not only be your friend but also fight and die for you, or sacrifice for you?

OK.

Is Henry actually a better choice than an awkward nerd?

Meth heads are usually thin...

Can you roughly define "good woman"? Someone who isn't a danger to herself or others, not morbidly obese (BMI < 40), holds or can hold a job (any job)?

And again - to be perfectly clear - I see absolutely nothing whatsoever wrong with this state of affairs. The only thing I ever questioned was why the hell people should be in relationships with 500lb opiate addicts.

If you're conventionally attractive or very charismatic or rich, yes, you can get away with a lot of shit. Such is life: it ain't just dating, if you were born on third base and jogged home 'cause the Almighty hit a homer when you were born, you can get away with some shit.

TRIAL by wager of WILDERNESS.

I have been thinking about something: in ages past, men went to war to prove themselves. They still do, today, and the survivors I have seen return more attractive, although they pay an immense price, and that is only counting those that return more or less in one piece. Now, war is more destructive than it once was, and we don't think highly of war in general, for good reason.

Therefore: I have been training for this for the past year or so. I plan to have myself dumped into the Alaskan wilderness in late February, 50 miles from the nearest road or civilization. I'll walk out, and if I make it out alive, I'll have been hardened by my experience. I'll have stared my own death in the goddamn face, braving temperatures of 40 below 0 just to walk out alive.

Do you think that this will make my ugly, autistic ass any more attractive? I've heard it said that you have never lived until you have almost died, and that tough, masculine men are attractive AF. This seems like something that would harden someone...either permanently, as a rock-solid corpse, or permanently, as a wilderness-hardened man.

TL;DR Is dumping myself in the middle of the woods in Alaska in winter gonna make me more attractive, if I survive?

I'm a 5'6" 165lb autistic ugly medical student, for what it's worth. 28, virgin, been on a couple of dates. I'd do better if I was OK with morbidly obese women.

Some people think that this is an idiotic idea. It probably is. People do not do this for a reason; I believe that the reason is because it is expensive; if a thousand unattractive autists tried this you'd have too many dead ones for this to make sense on a societal level. However, I do suspect that it is helpful for those that survive, and with less risk of being a fucked-up crippled guy. Either you walk out of the wilderness more or less whole, or not at all. And there would not be nearly as much of the moral-injury shit a lot of vets drink themselves to death over...there is a lot of very deep shame that a lot of veterans carry about the things they did and didn't do. I've seen them die (of alcohol-induced liver failure) and heard their stories.

TL;DR does life-and-death danger make dudes that survive it more attractive?

Maybe you can bite the bullet and argue that many nerds have the tendency to turn Henry when things get rough, and at least Henry's charismatic and all. Maybe he protects his wives from other dudes or something. It's a difficult (but not impossible) argument to make that Henry's partners would be genuinely better off with him than with our awkward nerds. I'd like to see the argument made, to be honest.

This is not minimizing domestic violence. It's saying "Maybe being with an awkward nerd is actually worse than being with a shitbag domestic abuser like Henry, for reasons that aren't immediately obvious". What I think is that Henry is basically a con man selling a product that is literal toxic garbage, and the nerd's product is better, but his salesmanship is shit.

A serious question: which has been more difficult for you/would be more difficult?

  • Climbing to the summit of Mt. Everest

  • Finding a partner that isn't morbidly obese, works a job, and is more or less sane.

Also, are you a military veteran? If you are: did you see combat? What made you think that anyone would ever be into you: did you ever get The Talk that you should be single for life because only gold diggers would be interested in you (not hyperbole; happened to me, age 21).

What is remarkable or extraordinary about you, if anything?

Yeah - a woman named Alana started a message board for lonely people that couldn't find partners in 1996. Some researchers did some studies on it in the 2000s. At some point sometime before Elliot Rodger went amok and shot up the place, the term (and the message boards) became overrun by genuinely despicable people.

many (myself included, though I'm happily married at this point) explicitly do not want someone who cares about status in the first place.

I mean...how bad do you want that? Would you rather be celibate for life than with someone who thinks Magic: The Gathering is for losers? Go ahead, then. Would you rather be with someone that's in and out of the local ER and rehabs for drug overdoses, or suicidal behavior related to bipolar disorder, or 500 pounds and a sprained ankle away from immobility...but is fine with Magic: The Gathering - or would you rather be with someone who can hold a job, maintain basic hygiene, and live independently, but thinks MTG is for losers?

Your call, boyo.

I would recommend this, as a test:

Are you willing to endure and sacrifice, for any reason or no good reason, for years, even decades? Can you go years without making a single social blunder? Can you make a million a year...are you on track to do this by age 35? Can you get people to fight for you: would you make a good infantry officer? It's like a modern version of Rudyard Kipling's If.

Yeah, arranged marriage can be good. Forced marriage is fucked up. Maybe you can bite the bullet that it's necessary to keep society stable in Afghanistan or some shit, but it's a hell of a bullet to bite.

I've noticed that women love playing matchmaker, so make it easy for them.

Depends. Hasn't been my experience - I have lots of female friends; they have either expressed sadness that a partner isn't happening for me or felt that I should never have one/that I was fucking up or being a presumptuous jackass by even asking.

Also, men getting ostracized or some shit for being "creepy" is a feature, not a bug; they failed to know their place and are paying for it.

You want to be a man, face life-and-death danger, preferably combat if you feel up to it and are OK with the guys you're fighting for.

Yeah, agreed. Men have duties to protect, provide, and lead: if something goes wrong, the buck stops at the man. Men who cannot or will not do this - who are unwilling to accept responsibility for their partners - aren't worthy.

Scott, from the Fourth Meditation on Creepiness:

But if they deliberately make the mating dance super complicated and then freak out when anyone misses a step and call the guy a creep and a potential rapist and try to ruin his reputation, that's kind of, well, mean?

It is not mean. It IS A FEATURE, not a bug.

Yeah. Peacetime military service has made most of the guys that chose it better off for having done it. War is a different kettle of fish; I haven't spoken to a single combat veteran who says his experience has been an unalloyed good. It's anything from "mixed bag" to "drank himself to death at 43 because of the things he saw and did in Iraq". They were more attractive, though.

What do you think about the role of life-and-death danger in making men more attractive? I think that it is the combat, not simply having been in the military, that's doing the work here...a Marine that's never been to war doesn't get the benefit that the guy that's survived combat gets.

The less attractive you are, the more everything you do will be considered creepy and weird.

This. Unattractive humans, especially men, are transgressive for being anything other than celibate monks.

Yes. "Radicalizing the Romancelessness" is a feature, not a bug. It is a feature that some men are thrown out of college on sexual-assault allegations that are shaky; it is a feature that some men (and fewer women) are considered creepy simply because they think that Scarlett Johansson or Timothee Chalamet is attractive. Unattractive people are expected to know their place. End of story.

I wonder: do those that do not date (because they're asexual) have worse social skills?

The highest-status thing you can do is lead men in combat. I've seen former military officers fucked up from drugs and PTSD in hospital beds that had girlfriends. I've seen veterans literally goddamn near dead, bellies swollen with ascitic fluid, livers failing...with girlfriends.

You've proven that men trust you with their lives. There are few higher honors.

Dating is all about conforming to gender roles. That means that, as a man, you'll have to approach, and you should be "confident."

Yeah. The most masculine thing a man can do is go to war. If you come back in one piece, and can hold down a job, you'll be more attractive. However, you will pay an incredibly hefty price for that. I recommend joining the Marines, if you're directionless.

6'4, White, blonde, muscular

That does a lot for you. A foot shorter and autistic...and one of the better outcomes you could have would be someone three times your weight. Want someone thinner? Good luck with meth heads and crazy motherfuckers in and out of psych wards.