Skulldrinker
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User ID: 1874
Skulldrinker
8hr ago
You send ubers to women? I'll offer to pick someone up, I'll split food and drinks but cover the whole tip, or cover the first round or two myself, or some combination of paying for 55 to 80% of costs incurred. Sending cars for them seems like playing into a gross fantasy.
Also, odd that women are so willing to give out their addresses on a first date when 9 out of 7 of them will be date-raped at a frat party while make 70¢ on the dollar.
Skulldrinker
9hr ago
A few times women have been honest and said it was because there was another guy they were more interested in, "sorry, I don't know how online dating works."
I told them it works exactly how they're doing it, just typically with less honesty.
There's a gradient that goes from
1 Cancelling the day of, with apologies and immediate rescheduling
2 Cancelling the day of, with a noted drop in enthusiasm in subsequent messaging and a vagueness about rescheduling that seems to be a hint you should stop bothering them.
3 Cancelling the day of, followed by ghosting
4 Ghosting the day of the date (no reply to the "hey, see you tonight at 7" text)
5 Getting stood up, which means her confirming the date then not turning up, leaving you sitting there like a jackass (a): apologies after, sometimes with a dramatic story about a sudden medical crisis, with hospital bed selfies, or (b): full ghosting with blocking/unmatching
2 and 4 are the most common variations. 0 (the date actually happening) happens slightly more often than 5, but less than 1-4. 1 sometimes later results in 0, but more often leads to 2 or 3.
At this point, I am forced to assume that 2, 3, and 4 are her double-booking and going on a date with a hotter guy, or having met a hotter guy in the interim. 5a is anxiety, 5b is, I can only assume, some kind of vindictive game.
Well, the problem seems to be that a huge proportion of the women in geek subcultures have become woke leftists who view straight men as defective gay men. They snarl and seethe at anything and everything.
Skulldrinker
3d ago
People will talk politics. Unfortunately, too many of the people I encounter regurgitate political slogans at each other as a form of social interaction, and I keep getting the urge to offer my actual opinion, which is typically not the Party Line.
My preferred subculture is Old Geek.
Skulldrinker
4d ago
No, because I've lived in places like that and there are literally no single women there, and I'm not interested in fishing or hearing anyone complaining about abortion.
Skulldrinker
4d ago
This was after I realized she wasn't much for talking. It's called a date with a boring person.
Skulldrinker
4d ago
Some other long screeds of advice here talked about keeping conversations going and texting every day before the date, so I'm hearing two different things and neither works.
The cooking is supposed to show off I can cook, which is supposed to be uncommon and sexy but also totally normal and unimpressive and entitled, like everything else about me.
Leftist as in specific use of the word Leftist (or communist) in their own prompts, not just listing "Liberal" which is what I'm listed as anyways, I just don't have any political prompts. Normie means sports and mimosas. Normies flake even moreso than "weirdos." My first experience of using Hinge in chicago was a normie who flaked on dates three weeks in a row before I took the hint and stopped asking. It felt like Charlie Brown going after that football.
And once more, its not about liking Truecrime, its about putting that in your dating profile in lieu of literally anything else. I listen to RedLetterMedia and very long film podcasts made by a welshman, an aussie, and southerner, but I recognize that this isn't attractive to the opposite sex and also doesn't usefully define me, so I do not mention it in my dating profile. It's the female equivalent of holding a fish.
Today I passed on a "Marxist Feminist" profile. I don't like/match with anyone who self-describes as leftist.
I realize three days isn't enough to give up hope, that was just an update.
Skulldrinker
4d ago
Another time, a woman who laughs at all your jokes, kisses you, and agrees to a second date gets described as "plain-looking but not fat", not getting your jokes, leaving no impression, and "being bored out of [your] skull." You realize this is kind of a jerky way to describe a woman you went on a date with, don't you? You didn't even explain how the second date, the one where everything was closed, ended! You pivot in your retelling immediately to your ex, almost as though this woman, who genuinely did more in your telling than 90%+ of women to show interest and treat you with respect, never even deserved the closure of being described fully in the time she chose to spend with you.
We went to live music at a bar, I put my arms around her for a while. She kinda stood there passively. The date ended with her getting on her train and never speaking to me again, and me $75 poorer.
You're advising me to penpal more. This seems like bad advice.
Skulldrinker
4d ago
Asking a question, a picture of whatever thing I'm doing that day, like cooking or walking my dog. One time, a picture of my dog at the beach was apparently so offensive she stopped replying. This was a Wednesday, with a date scheduled for Friday, which obviously didn't happen. I don't send photos anymore.
I don't know what it is I'm supposed to say via text to a person I don't know that will keep their fickle interest for the two days between setting the date and the date happening, especially when they reply to open-ended questions with yes/no/idunno, lol.
As I said, having a long conversation where they start spontaneously complimenting me has the same result as silence: getting flaked on or ghosted.
Skulldrinker
4d ago
I'm totally autistic, I have way too many hours in Baldur's Gate 3, my life goal is to pet as many cats as I can, my hobbies include making my own cosplay, I geek out over anime and manga" girl who decides the cutest pic of herself consists of her in a piano-keys themed skirt -- yes I'm thinking of someone I know in particular here -- well, that kind of girl exists, and sometimes she would like a man to have sex with her.
Unfortunately, women like that who are still single are the sort who made my 20s miserable by constantly complaining that men speak to, look at, or exist near them, and every second sentence they speak makes it clear they have absolute contempt for all the men they supposedly share a subculture with.
Skulldrinker
4d ago
For the record, I select against hotness. I don't waste likes on people out of my league. Or on normies. Actually, fuck it, here's my list of Icks: More than one mention of sports Generic "Travel" Leftist and/or any demands that I also be Leftist The word Intersectional Demands that I be Christian (_______) Energy Guys way hotter than me in their photos. Truecrime (it's just a tone-deaf thing to waste space talking about, the female equivalent of Warhammer Lore Videos. I can just assume you watch Truecrime, and I have as little interest in that as you do in the Dark Angels Legion. Gods, I hate how generic people have become)
The main thing I keep an eye out for is any mention of nature or wildlife, especially bugs. And arts&crafts hobbies.
Three days active now. Zero matches.
Skulldrinker
5d ago
It's unfortunate that I kinda like women with features that could be described as "handsome" or "boyish." And even I can spot the gaslighting.
Skulldrinker
7d ago
Yes, except that I used to have much less attractive pictures yet somehow women would still turn up for dates before 2020.
Skulldrinker
8d ago
None of the latter two things you said have ever happened to me.
Skulldrinker
8d ago
I don't keep a spreadsheet. 90% cancellations/flakes/ghosting/stood up is my best guess. This applies to people met IRL too. Unless "looking forwards to seeing you today" gives the ick, I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
Skulldrinker
8d ago
That's already what I try to do and what my handfull of dates already look like, but, as I said previously, they never actually turn up for the date anymore.
Skulldrinker
8d ago
Well thanks, yes I am autistic, but my face is probably my best feature, and I wasn't trying to flirt with her, and she asked me about wingmen.
Skulldrinker
8d ago
I tried volunteering to clean up the local park.
It was mostly trannies.
Skulldrinker
8d ago
I already do most of that. I don't know what you mean by 60 minutes of conversation, I typically get (scant) replies the next day.
None of the above stops them from flaking, though.
Mentioning not having sex with them sounds like it'd get them all pissy at my assumption of their sluttiness, something something toxicity, something something entitlement.
Well, I don't meet up with them, that's the whole problem, but typically a day or three, with the date itself set within the same week as matching. Two exchanges of messages per day at most.
Also, I thought the problem these days is that too many men go to church and they're all too trad. Also, since I'm a catholic atheist, not really my scene.
Skulldrinker
8d ago
The use of the term "Demonic" is off-putting.
Skulldrinker
8d ago
I fail to see what relevance that has to dating, online or otherwise. I don't want to hear about how great jesus is any more than I want to hear about how bad orange man is.
This broadly used to be my experience before 2020. It radically changed for the worse after COVID, despite me becoming way more attractive.
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