Tollund_Man4
No bio...
User ID: 501
Tollund_Man4
3yr ago
Oh then thanks for the praise.
I still want to stress that cocaine is lower on the heirachy of the best uses of one's time and my argument would risk falling into absurdity if I said otherwise. The similarities I wanted to highlight were just that people can be very successful despite their vices and that the excuses made for something obviously bad can be seen regarding the thing I wanted to argue was bad.
Tollund_Man4
3yr ago
I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not. If so I'll have to be more careful not to sound sanctimonious (a hard thing when expressing strong opinions on how one should live), if not then thanks for the praise.
Even cocaine seems to confer greater benefits - real productivity in the real world - albeit with much greater costs.
Hah well I wasn't thinking about replacing gaming with cocaine when I wondered about better forms of escapism. I know a few friends who have wasted years gaming and a few friends of friends who have died from the other thing.
Tollund_Man4
3yr ago
Back in my teenage years I did use alcohol as a crutch for social skills and it worked pretty well. Of course you don't learn as much as you would if you just did the difficult thing and interacted with lots and lots of people while sober and in that sense you can become dependent on it.
I'd say if your goal is to relax and have fun you need to be around friends who know you well and accept your quirks (even if they might criticise them in good faith). There have been periods of my life where I abstained from alcohol for a few months and still went to bars with friends and it was still very fun despite me not being drunk.
Tollund_Man4
3yr ago
I'll start with the caveat that I know some very successful people (career, romantic, fitness etc) who are heavy gamers (and a caveat to that caveat that I know some very successful people with a cocaine habit) and the confession that I've found life just as difficult in the times I've chosen to abstain from gaming as the times I've gone overboard with it.
I hope it will be uncontroversial to say that the escapist and the addictive nature of gaming can seriously stifle the development of some people. A lot of people probably know someone like this, as for myself I've got friends approaching their 30s who have yet to form a romantic relationship or move out of their parents house and who aren't otherwise hampered by autism, ugliness, stupidity or anything else that would have made life hard regardless. They're intelligent and likeable enough that they could have already done a lot in life but gaming specifically seems to have been what stopped them. Like the dangers of a drug habit, this isn't a convincing argument as long as you conceive yourself as not being in that minority (hopefully it's a minority) who can't game with moderation.
The best argument I can think of for the moderates is in terms of opportunity cost, and this is one which has convinced me to make attempts to abstain in my personal life: "Tallying up the hours displayed on your (my) steam account what kind of person would you be if you had spent that on solving practical problems in your life or pursuing meaningful intellectual inquiries? Let's grant that it's implausible that you could have been doing something better for all of those hours since you only game when you're too tired for anything but escapism, what portion of those hours could have been put to real use? Are you being honest with yourself if you say that each of those 50 hours playthroughs were time that would have been wasted anyway? Are there not other forms of escapism that could satisfy your desire which don't have a tendency to eat into your productive hours and might have even brought some incidental benefits?"
This is an argument that convinced me. I doubt I'm half as productive as most of the people here so I'm not claiming a position of authority on how to live life well, though like my successful friends who drink too much or indulge in cocaine I do wonder how much more of an impressive person you could be if you chose something else.
How sturdy is the argument that “not everything has to be productive”?
'Not everything has to be productive' can be an argument against video games also. Instead of letting yourself be bored for a while you're choosing to simulate productivity in the times you're too lacking in motivation for real productivity. Boredom might be a negative stimulus that prompts motivation for more substantial actions which you're choosing to block out with something that makes you contented with your present state.
Tollund_Man4
3yr ago
I try to engage in discussions based on what I've been reading and those solidify things in my memory. Maybe I won't remember the specific facts but I'll remember that I've talked about them and know where to look for a quick recap if they become relevant again.
Tollund_Man4
3yr ago
Yes definitely. I don't know much about Kant or Locke myself but since they are rarely discussed here I'd imagine more people than you might expect will come out of the woodwork to discuss.
the vast majority of totalitarian land empires are not as bad as either Nazi germany or the Stalinist USSR.
How many other totalitarian land empires are you counting as having existed (roughly)?
If there have been 50 other empires then sure these 2 are an outlier, but if China, the Central Powers (do they count as totalitarian?) and Tsarist Russia are the only other examples then it's at most a slim and in no way a vast majority.
Tollund_Man4
3yr ago
These can be the same people at different times. In this framework nerds who are drunk or on certain drugs are low value low inhibition.
Though I'd say the nerd bit is far less important than the drink and drugs which make all types more likely to do something stupid or violent.
There are many Latin Americans (Brazilians in Portugal)
There are a lot of Brazilians in Ireland too. The 2016 census showed 15,000 or so and now it's at 40,000.
Like the Polish before them (and unlike asylum seekers) there really isn't that much anti-migrant sentiment against them, though they do suffer a lot at the hands of Dublin's feral youths.
Tollund_Man4
3yr ago
Can you think of a better test to see if an actress is willing to do what the director asks her to?
How about something difficult that isn't immoral and which won't risk tanking your reputation and getting you into legal trouble?
Even if there's merit to the idea of giving actresses tests which are overkill relative to the actual demands of the job, for an executive to assert that this test must be sex is odd, clearly in danger of being motivated by sexual desire alone, and risky for business.
Tollund_Man4
3yr ago
Thinking practically this seems hard to believe. Was it really easier in the past to start a subscription magazine that reached 100 readers than it is now for a Substack blogger to hit 100 paid members?
Tollund_Man4
3yr ago
It has not within living memory shot protesters en masse in the streets or run them over with tanks. It does not throw its citizens into internment camps for believing in the wrong religion.
Not to say that the UK is as bad as China, but this isn't strictly true. 1971 saw British troops shoot dozens of protesters or just people going about their day indiscriminately with Bloody Sunday and the Ballymurphy massacre. And 2000 people were interned without trial, some being tortured, in Northern Ireland over 4 years starting in 1971.
Tollund_Man4
3yr ago
Didn't travellers used to rely on striking up a conversation with the locals and asking where the best spots were? "Where can I find the best party?" is a question that might be hard to find an answer for online but should be easy if you're talking to someone at a bar.
Tollund_Man4
3yr ago
I've talked to some friends about office work and while they've said you can be dumb as a rock and still find a job my lack of experience in any office environment makes it seem like a big hurdle.
I've done a few interviews and I always struggle with the vagueness of what's being asked. I'm very comfortable in interviews where the question is "Can you do X, Y, Z" rather than "Tell me why you want to work here/what are you passions?" etc.
Tollund_Man4
3yr ago
That seems like a good plan. I've got a lot of programmer friends and another friend who is being hired by a friend after spending the last year learning in his own time.
It will just take some discipline, I've tried to pick it up a few times and never found that pure interest that allows me to read books without needing to motivate myself. My dad is also fairly passionate about programming so I'm sure there's something to it but I haven't found it yet.
Tollund_Man4
3yr ago
Funnily enough I just started one this week, though I haven't touched on anything philosophical or political yet and have just made one post on Irish history.
Tollund_Man4
3yr ago
I'm getting pretty tired of working minimum wage jobs after studying philosophy. Anyone have any advice on how to become more employable? This in Europe which I assume is relevant.
Tollund_Man4
3yr ago
So from the perspective of you, as an individual, do you inherit both the benefits of an advanced civilization AND the penalties of a history of oppression? How does that balance out in terms of what you're 'owed' in the present?
Thinking more on this it's clear that evaluating how things 'balance out' has a utilitarian presumption behind it, whereas I think the most plausible case for treating historical grievances with importance takes a more traditional view of specific 'crimes' commited which demand redress (greivances based on systemic inequalities where there's no obvious unjust act are a more recent innovation). So, as would be the case with any crime, you demand redress for the specific wrongs done and ignore the question of whether you'd be better or worse off in the counterfactual. Breaking into someone's house is still breaking into someone's house even if you leave a bag of money in their living room.
The most straightforward cases of this in history are the demanding of an official apology, the return of titles, legal rights, or land. The discourse of monetary reparations already veers too far into the murky waters of utilitarian calculations to be workable in my opinion.
Tollund_Man4
3yr ago
The other thing to contemplate is the question of why misdeeds/debts should be carried forward to be paid back later by one's descendants, whilst positive achievements/credits aren't?
Positive achievements usually benefit the achiever's group primarily, and other groups only incidentally. Do we all still owe the British for sparking off the industrial revolution? Maybe we do, but then again history's largest empire is a fairly decent reward too. Misdeeds on the other hand are felt directly, they motivate people to demand redress far more than an Italian would be motivated to ask for compensation for his people's contributions to architecture.
There are cases where the credits of one group are carried over across generations, the memory of the Choctaw Indians donating money to Irish famine relief in the 1847 was the basis for a GoFundMe campaign to solicit a fairly successful fundraising campaign for COVID relief in 2020.
Tollund_Man4
3yr ago
There was no single incident, you've got a housing crisis meeting a huge intake (per capita) of refugees from Ukraine plus an increase in asylum seekers from the rest of the world. At the start of the year we were at the point where the government had nowhere to put asylum seekers so they arrived and went straight to sleeping on the streets. This type of sentiment has been bubbling for years and there had already been quite a few cases of arson in empty hotels and the like that had been earmarked to become asylum centres.
Tollund_Man4
3yr ago
Ireland's asylum seeker protests continued with some farmers in County Clare blocking the roads to a hotel after they found out that refugees were bussed in during the night. There were some reports of people setting up blockades and checking people's passports and boarding buses to do a headcount but I haven't seen any proof.
Right now it looks like the blockade has been lifted after the Minister of State visited and struck a deal with the protestors, although the demonstrations are going to continue.
People tell me that if I show interest in a girl early on then I'm "too easy" and there's no "intrigue", so the appropriate thing is to give little hints about my feelings so she can pursue me
Outside of work and places like that there's no issue expressing interest in a girl, in fact it's good to make it obvious by talking to her a lot and asking for her Instagram or telling her you want to take her out for a drink (after you've talked with her a while and noticed some chemistry). Best to set the tone early as it's hard to shift from the background of her mind to the foreground. Normal rules of confidence apply and you should talk to her directly, in fact talk to her friends and your friends and show that you can command people's attention for a while without shrinking away in fear. You mention being isolated, I think improving your normal conversational skills even with male friends will help a lot here. It's a good thing to pursue in general and I think much of dating despair is compounded by general social despair. Dating is just good conversation (which is a skill) + some well-timed moves that display your intentions for more.
As for being creepy.. while expressing interest is normal, there is an issue with prematurely expressing a desire for commitment with a girl, you should set constraints on this in your own mind and even explicitly (twice I have said let's just have one drink and if there's no chemistry we'll leave it there, those dates went well) and treat each date as something that's fun for its own sake with no harm done if it ends. Be ready to pursue a bit but if you're putting in all the effort just forget about her. Don't make the mistake of idealising her, it's fine to kick yourself for blowing your chance with that super hot girl for a bit or be excited about seeing her again but remind yourself that you barely know her. I will say the obvious and don't make any crude sexual comments either, I know some guys can make this work but you don't need to take that risk.
So about talking to girls, all the rules of normal good conversation apply and you can talk about history or whatever, the only difference is you're going to arrange for another meeting down the line (whether that's setting a date or you and her grabbing a drink right then and there). Dating advice which complicates things isn't usually useful in my opinion but keeping the simple roadmap in your head is helpful: set a date (you pick what, when and where or else it'll never happen), meet and talk, try get some physical chemistry going (can be as simple as sitting beside her rather than across from her), make some positive comments about her appearance (not crude but still direct, you show confidence by being direct about being attracted to her), then if she has responded positively to all of that take your shot and go in for the kiss. There will nearly always be some doubt about the right moment for the last bit but sometimes you'll get lucky and she'll say something like "when are you going to kiss me?".
On dating apps, don't spend too much time talking back and forth without setting a date. Unless the conversation is really enticing for both of you (which can happen, I've discussed books and sent excerpts before a successful date) it will fizzle out if you don't set a time and a place. If she cancels multiple times or doesn't respond she probably wasn't going to meet up with you in the first place.
If you are looking for someone with whom you are authentically drawn to/compatible with, why set up these hoops or create a culture of deception within the relationship?
On authenticity, I think there's reason for optimism here. I have honestly gotten my best success with dating when being authentic and specifically finding women I can talk to as an equal in conversation i.e. I don't have to dumb myself down and they surprise me with their wit. Authenticity is polarising, you'll narrow the set of people who you can attract but trade it for greatly deepening the attraction of those you do.
On hoops, there are hoops that you insert yourself (pointless in my opinion unless you suspect a red flag and want to test for it), and there are the hoops which are inherent to dating. The latter I think should just be accepted. Think of it like a dance, you might have a lot of wiggle room to do things your own way but the date isn't going anywhere unless you move on to the next step. The fact that there are traditional expectations on the male is something you should be grateful for as they line the complicated world of attraction with a few obvious signposts for what works.
Tollund_Man4
3yr ago
I can't see why you couldn't drink 8% all day though
If you're used to drinking 5-10 pints on a night out 8% will get you way too drunk. Source: Irish drinking culture met Belgian beer.
Tollund_Man4
3yr ago
Fair, I don't know enough about Nordic cultures to pick something specific to them, I was thinking more my own experience of British/Irish.
This seems like a fairly pessimistic view on politics. Do you not think that political problems can be ameliorated? I'd say the difference between war and peace lies in that realm.
More options
Context Copy link