bolido_sentimental
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User ID: 205
bolido_sentimental
11mo ago
That's kind of interesting to think about: what is bar culture/drinking culture like in India? Are bars actually quite uncommon there? Do people drink less than e.g. Americans, or just differently? Is there a big class divide of some kind?
bolido_sentimental
11mo ago
Signing on kind of just to follow along, as I'm in an extremely similar spot with you. I also got back on the apps myself a few days ago.
Thus far I've had very little luck, just a handful of matches and nothing that's gone anywhere. I did make a fairly "generalist" kind of profile and right now I actually do hypothesize that it's not targeted at any particular type of girl well enough; like perhaps I'm not emphasizing any specific part of my personality or interests enough to grab someone's attention. I think my pictures are good, I'm pretty fit and not bad-looking, but not remarkable either. Without rancor, I think if it comes down purely to looks that isn't going to be enough for me, so it makes me think I need to do more to stand out. It's a bit like a cover letter or resume, isn't it? Tailor it towards the job you're applying for? I may remake my profiles soon with that in mind.
As you note it's interesting to try and decide, therefore, who you want to catch. I volunteer at a used bookstore and my house is full of books; some girls are into that. I also play tennis and golf, and like to work out; a different set of girls are into that. And I like to drink a large quantity of Miller Genuine Draft and then belt "My Own Worst Enemy" at the local dive bar on karaoke night. Probably some girls are into that as well. But I don't know that I can appeal to all of those with one profile. Honestly, I'm sort of considering making three very different profiles on three apps. What could go wrong?
One thing I'll add: on Bumble I see plenty of girls who list their politics as "conservative." Far more than I would've expected. Admittedly I live in a big Midwestern metro and not on the coast, but still. That's an option, they do exist; and I think there's no way I'm going to match them with my profile set up as it currently is: with no politics listed. Really I only just thought of this. I kind of wonder if having no politics listed is actually a turnoff. I'm sure it varies.
It is curious to be back in the dating scene in 2023. I dated extensively in my 20s, and every girl I was with, I met in person somehow. At least at that time, the old advice did hold up, that you could meet mates just by doing interesting things. I dated a girl from NaNoWriMo; I dated a girl I met at an anime convention. I dated a girl I met at some random party, and one I met at a Meetup.com meetup, and a friend of a friend who I met at a bonfire. By some quirk of timing, I have had absolutely no success of this kind since the Covid-19 pandemic. I think that that's just a coincidence, but I also feel like I just don't get the same opportunities that I did previously. I still go to stuff, and I think, "Where are all the cool people at?"
One final thought - I've only actually dated one girl I met via an app, and that was via OkCupid back before it turned into another swiping app. In general I still like the profile + messaging-based dating sites a lot more - I think that Match.com is a great interface. But the network effects are a killer: fewer and fewer people are on those now. I used Match for a while last year and simply couldn't find anyone I wanted to message.
bolido_sentimental
11mo ago
I had never thought of that. Signed up this morning, that does seem like a good service. Voting on some other people's photos, it also gave me a good sense of what other people do well and poorly.
Get closer to the camera, people!
bolido_sentimental
10mo ago
What are you guys doing on Juneteenth? I have a random day off. Trying to decide if I want to go for a drive to some random town an hour away. I have no idea if there's anything there - probably there isn't. But it would be neat to find out.
bolido_sentimental
10mo ago
Finished The Big Short today. Remarkable how much it all resembled a game of musical chairs - no one wanted to be the one left holding the bag at the end. Also a great example of "people won't understand something if their job depends on not understanding it." I didn't see much in there to make me think that something similar couldn't easily happen again.
bolido_sentimental
10mo ago
Let me know how it is if you start it. There's a copy of it on my bookshelf that I've never cracked open.
bolido_sentimental
10mo ago
I did in fact do this today - I visited Ripley, Ohio; Aberdeen, Ohio, and Maysville, Kentucky, three small towns on the Ohio River. Just picked a spot on the map where I could say, "I've never been there."
It was great. Really relaxing - it always feels nice to get some time alone in the car on an open highway, to think about things. Weather was pretty good - a little bit of gentle rain that kept me from taking quite as many pictures as I would have liked, but this also kept it cool. I had a surprisingly wonderful pork tenderloin sandwich in Maysville.
Here are a few pictures I took today if you'd like to see.
bolido_sentimental
10mo ago
I live in Ohio now, but I think at the time of the SSC/Motte split, I lived in Bowling Green, KY. I'm not sure if those were the best years of my life but they were pretty good ones. Western Kentucky is a wonderful place.
My hobbies that involve spending money are primarily:
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Hunting for old golf clubs at thrift stores and flea markets. Less than $100 a month. (I couldn't even explain why I do this. I just get the urge.)
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Driving around and taking pictures of stuff. Well less than $100 a month (just gas and snacks really).
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Reading; buying books at the used bookstore up the street. $50 max a month.
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Working out at the Y. About $45 a month in membership.
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Occasionally drinking at bars, breweries, etc. Probably not more than $100 a month on average, but months with special occasions do pop up and drive this up.
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Video games... I don't really play a ton, and usually when I do, it's one game for a long time. Like $25 a month tops.
That's pretty much it. I'd have to do something really unusual to even hit 10% of my budget. I guess the key is that I like to cook and prefer to cook, so I go out to eat only 1-2 times a month. Other hobbies I have just don't cost anything. I play guitar but I like the guitar I've got; I like to work on my garden but that's free. I take a lot of long walks, that's free; I write, that's free. My friends and I hang out at each other's houses a lot, or else we do stuff that's like, "Let's go and look at x. Hmmm, that's a cool x."
I am a golfer, although I'm a super casual and have not been doing it for very long; and equally important, I already have multiple full bags' worth of clubs I can play. I think for me the appeal is that it's so fun to see how all the different ones will hit - especially given that there are several thrift stores within 15 minutes of me that price them at $1.00 a club. "Hmmm, that's an interesting bounce on that sand wedge. I wonder if it'll help me play out of trouble? Let's just find out." It combines well with another hobby, which is: going to the driving range and practicing. Sometimes I'll just take an entire bag of "new" thrift clubs and test them all out. It makes for a really fascinating afternoon for less than $20 - if you're into that kind of thing.
In terms of gems, honestly, that's even more uncommon than I anticipated. If you consider the "big" manufacturers to be Callaway, Titleist, Ping, Cobra, and TaylorMade - I've seen clubs manufactured by those companies in the last 25 years, like... never. Genuinely just about never. In the age of the Internet I guess people know how much stuff is worth, so those don't end up in places like that. Once I saw a set of King Cobra II irons that was missing the 9, and an ancient TaylorMade Burner 5-wood with a tiny little head. (I did buy that one.) I've heard of people reselling thrift store clubs and making money; I guess those folks just get to them first.
As far as playable clubs go, though, I've found some really nice stuff. I have a Nickent Super Concorde 7-wood that plays beautifully. I even found an ancient Northwestern 1-iron so I could find out if they're really as hard to play as people say. (Answer: Yep. They certainly are. But it gives me something to aim for - when I can hit that 1-iron off the deck, I'll know I've truly accomplished something.)
Thanks for letting me know about that. I genuinely had no idea. The Goodwills near me, I don't bother going to - they sometimes have no golf clubs at all. St. Vincent de Paul outposts have many.
I'm reading A.J. Cronin's first novel, Hatter's Castle. The story of how he wrote this novel has stuck with me forever. From wikipedia:
"In 1930 Cronin was diagnosed with a chronic duodenal ulcer and told to take six months' complete rest in the country on a milk diet. At Dalchenna Farm by Loch Fyne he was finally able to indulge a lifelong desire to write a novel, having previously "written nothing but prescriptions and scientific papers." From Dalchenna Farm he travelled to Dumbarton to research the background of his first novel, using files from Dumbarton Library, which still has a letter from him requesting advice. He composed Hatter's Castle in the span of three months and quickly had it accepted by Gollancz, the only publisher to which he submitted it, apparently after his wife had randomly stuck a pin in a list of publishers. It was an immediate success and launched Cronin's career as a prolific author. He never returned to medicine."
Man I wish I could do that myself. And this coming year, I'll be the same age that Cronin was in 1930. So anything is possible I guess. I certainly wouldn't be surprised if I have an ulcer forming.
Anyway. I'm a big Cronin fan. Writing in 1930, he wrote like it was 1870 - he really comes off as quite ridiculous if you compare him with contemporaries like Fitzgerald or Hemingway, he's much closer to someone like Wilkie Collins - but you can get into the flow of his prose after a while. He was quite good at his very dated style. (And he did get much more modern later in his career.) The Judas Tree, Keys of the Kingdom, The Citadel, all are thrilling, moving, well-plotted books. And furthermore: while Cronin's novels share a ton of elements with each other - there's always a doctor, there are always Scots, there are usually Dickensian parental figures who you want to sock in the face the entire time - he does not recycle endings. Some end with pure tragedy, some end up with happiness for all involved. So this does make reading Hatter's Castle very exciting. The titular hatter, James Brodie, is one of the most unrelentingly evil people I've encountered in several years, so I'm looking forward to Cronin telling me how he got that way, and hopefully to seeing him get his richly deserved comeuppance at some point. But the terrible thing is, Cronin being Cronin, Brodie might win. If nothing else you know he's at least gonna take some of the nice characters down with him.
bolido_sentimental
10mo ago
I was able to go there and register successfully. Indicated that I would receive a .zip file shortly with the information.
bolido_sentimental
10mo ago
A major implication of this is that, even if you are able to provide perfect equality of opportunity, groups will still have different outcomes because of their differing inherent ability. As a result, for example, cognitively-demanding (and high-status, high-compensation) professions will never reflect the distribution of groups in society; instead they would be occupied mostly by members of groups with higher ability. The alternative to this is to weigh the scales: to hire based on some attribute other than merit alone, which many find to be unfair.
And these "good" professions are just one example - you would expect to see this phenomenon in every area of human endeavor where ability comes into play.
bolido_sentimental
10mo ago
Right, what you're describing here are major elements of the pro-HBD position. Most people on this forum, including myself, agree with you about this.
Be sure to consider as well the nature of the opposing viewpoint. Many people strongly value what they consider as fairness. The idea that some people are disadvantaged in life, through no fault of their own but only through an accident of their birth, strikes them as being unfair. I agree that it is unfair, though it's unfair on a sort of cosmic level, not in a way that should affect who becomes a neurosurgeon for instance.
But there is a worthwhile question to consider in it, one which I think Freddie DeBoer touches on at times: if there is a group of people who are natively less intelligent, does that mean they are destined to have worse lives? Is it right that they should have worse lives? It is important to bear in mind that intelligence is not equal to humanity. I can understand why, when you see one group of people having lives which appear to be worse in many areas, one would feel called upon to try and help that situation and correct it. But as you can see in the real world, when this desire is also motivated by false premises, it can lead to injustice too.
bolido_sentimental
10mo ago
You can do it. In fact I did this for a long time, setting my phone up on the far end of my room, and it helped my sleep quality tons.
Now I realize I put my phone charger back by my bed recently. Foolish! I'm gonna go move it back right now.
If you get a chance, you should watch something funny. Idk what you like but Still Game is on Netflix. Or Azumanga Daioh or something. A good laugh may set you in the right direction. Maybe a nice chocolate bar from the drugstore too. It won't solve your problems but at least you'll have had a chocolate bar.
bolido_sentimental
10mo ago
I can't believe today is not Sunday. I have the day off work, and I have to work tomorrow - surely today is Sunday, right? But it's not.
Happy Independence Day, American mottizens.
bolido_sentimental
10mo ago
Nice idea, I would actually do this too. I have a guest bedroom and everything. I guess the tricky part is that you'd have to disclose to everybody what city you're in, so they'd know if they're going to be passing through or not. I don't necessarily mind that but I see the trouble.
I wonder where such information could live, too. Posting in this FFT, it'll quickly be lost/forgotten.
bolido_sentimental
10mo ago
I spent >10 Novembers of my life doing NaNoWriMo. https://nanowrimo.org/
I started when I was much too young to have the discipline or, indeed, ability, to actually carry it through. But I was very determined, and kept it at year on year. Finally I did crack the 50k mark. After doing that twice, I now feel that I've gotten all I can out of NaNoWriMo, and I don't do it any more. (Semi-related: I also was the city organizer for this in my city in 2019. November 2019 was one of the better months of my life.)
From when I was a teenager, it was always my goal to get something actually published. I achieved this in late 2022 by having a non-fiction essay published in an anthology about my city. It's a real book, published by a real publisher. You can get it at Barnes & Noble, and the library has 20+ copies of it, and my name is in there. I was paid exactly $20.00 for it; I put the check in a little frame, which sits in my office on a bookcase now. I would like to publish a novel some day, but having now ticked the "get published" box, this isn't something that keeps up at night anymore.
With regards to the act of writing: there are long periods of pain, and relatively short periods where it feels amazing. For me - and note that I primarily write fiction - the really difficult part is going from the state of "I have no active project going" to "I have a project and I'm well into it." I go on all kinds of false starts and dead-end paths, and it's quite discouraging. Furthermore, as I've gotten older and reached a rather stable mid-career professional phase, I actually find myself a bit starved for ideas sometimes. This would have been unimaginable in my 20s. However, when I actually managed to get the ball rolling, there are few feelings to compare with finishing a passage after which you can think, "That says what I meant it to say. I've conveyed this perfectly." It's a lot like playing golf: you put up with all the shanks and hooks because of the occasional perfect strike.
As I once said to a writing buddy of mine: I've gone through periods where I've tried to stop. I recognize that there are other hobbies I can pursue which don't come with any frustration. There are things that I am better at, than at writing. I'm probably more talented at tennis; if I put as much time into tennis as I do writing, I could be winning the local wee amateur tournaments and things. But I always come back to it. I seem to have wired my brain into that mold over many years, and now I just feel bad about myself if I don't log a few hours at the desk every couple of days.
bolido_sentimental
9mo ago
I donate to a "resource center" in my neighborhood that provides food, toiletries, clothes, and other necessities to local people in need. After I donated a couple times they offered to give me a tour, to see with my own eyes that it's legit.
It's not direct money but it's not far removed. Idk about national-level orgs that do that; I feel good about it being local, really.
bolido_sentimental
9mo ago
I'd be curious to know the distribution in other cities such as Charleroi or Ghent. Is there some other place where all the Belgian children are, or do they just not make them anywhere anymore?
bolido_sentimental
9mo ago
1.) When I was younger, I would start bleeding from the belly button like once every few years. It would last for a week or two, and then stop. It wasn't painful and it didn't seem to be infected.
I eventually went to a clinic about it. They said apparently I had a tendency to form little granulomas in there; that it would be possible to surgically remediate, but not really worthwhile.
I got into better physical shape, and haven't had a recurrence of this in nine years. I guess it just stopped. I theorize that maybe having lost a certain amount of weight, I eliminated any tendency for friction there. I was never actually so heavy, topping out at 220 at my very heaviest; but still, it seems logical. Everything really does get better as you increase fitness.
2.) I have a very short tongue. I have never known anyone with a shorter one. It is a little bit surprising that I can speak totally normally.
3.) In situations that lead to sweating, I sweat a ton. Huge volumes of sweat. I don't sweat at rest, and I don't have sweaty palms. But when I engage in athletic endeavors, I always out-sweat the competition.
bolido_sentimental
9mo ago
Really pushing it to call this news, but my local news did put it on the front page...
Has anybody here ever tried tai chi?
I can't quite get a handle on if it's a practice which could provide real benefits in terms of flexibility, coordination, etc., or if it's just a meme activity.
I find myself thinking about it mainly because I keep driving past a tai chi studio and I wonder what they get up to in there. I imagine it's not the optimized/minmaxed exercise mode for strength, cardio health, or anything else, but I'm tempted to go take a class or two anyway just to say I did, and to meet the kinds of people that do it. Curious to hear your experiences.
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