bolido_sentimental
No bio...
User ID: 205
I am a serious chess nerd, and to be honest, I enjoy it purely as an end in itself. I don't think it's making me smarter or better at anything - I just really like chess, and so I play it and study it because it's fun. It brings me great happiness to have something like that.
I wonder if this is sort of a luxury of the middle-aged: I do not need to be getting better at "real" skills to give myself a shot in life, because I'm married, mid-career and so on. It certainly would be more valuable to do something else with her time from that perspective. But it's not as useless as some other things. Like others have said, it's socially acceptable and even cool to some people; and it is certainly possible to meet folks and make friends (admittedly odd ones) through it.
bolido_sentimental
1mo ago
This was hard for me to accept when I was dating, but accept it I ultimately did; it's true and you're right to point it out. I eventually resolved this for myself by leaving the apps and going back to the old-fashioned way, as I concluded through years of experience that I myself was not willing to partner up with someone with such divergent values. In the past I was occasionally able to pull liberal girls closer to the center or right, but I am much happier to finally be with an actual conservative; it is a great blessing to not constantly be hiding my power level anymore.
bolido_sentimental
1mo ago
Have any of you ever memorized poems? I understand this is something that used to happen in school at least at one time, but I wonder if it died out entirely.
If so - did you find it worth doing? Or, indeed, the memorization of anything else? (Not referring in this case, to, e.g., the endless Anki decks of medical school, or all of the TCP/UDP ports for your CCNA, but rather just for fun.)
bolido_sentimental
1mo ago
There's always geocaching.
https://www.geocaching.com/play
Can help you look at your environment in a new way, and also creates a nifty record of all the places you've been.
bolido_sentimental
2mo ago
I didn't know you had a blog. Where can we read it?
bolido_sentimental
3mo ago
I didn't really appreciate what he did when I was a young adult. I was a real whiz kid in school, and it seemed a shame not to use the scholarships and get out into the world that way. In hindsight I might have chosen differently, and now I have a whole mid-level career's worth of sunk cost that would make it probably too challenging to switch.
I think he'd be more than happy to sell all his stuff and his book of business in a few years for a nominal cost, if he knew the right person to take it over; but he's quite solitary and prefers to work alone, so it's unfortunately possible that his knowledge will die with him. Maybe I'll talk to him about trying to find an apprentice.
My father has been a glazier for 40 years, and I've worked with him on occasional jobs here and there. He is self-employed, and primarily does storefront windows and doors for restaurants, banks, retail, offices, etc.
Pros:
- Nothing gross about it really. All metal and glass. Sawdust, metal shavings, etc., but nothing unsanitary.
- In growing areas the demand is tremendous. It's a somewhat uncommon trade skill, but required in damn near every building everywhere. For many corporate clients, if you can get on their approved vendor list you can basically name your price, and they'll pay it without blinking.
- Pretty high-precision/high-craft. Not mindless at all. Lots of practical problem-solving. Your work may be beautiful. You can drive around your city and point at all kinds of buildings and say, "I did part of that."
- You go all over town or your region each day - no being chained to a desk. But your range wouldn't typically be more than a couple hours from home.
- Don't have to work for a company or with anyone else if you don't want to. The most he does is occasionally hire laborers to help move very large things.
Cons:
- Glass and metal are sharp and can be dangerous. You really have to take safety seriously. People do get seriously injured or die in this line of work, but it doesn't have to be you.
- Shit is heavy. Glass is just very heavy. Finished units are heavier still. A lot is mitigated by various simple machines, carts, dollies, and so on, but there will be times when you must shift some big thing around a corner with muscle force, and you'll feel it the next day. Having said that, my dad is in his 60s and still has all his functions, and tells me he has no unusual daily pain.
- There is often work at heights, potentially extreme ones, usually on scaffolding. Wear the safety harness. And of course you'll certainly be outside in the heat and cold.
- It's a potentially hard skill to pick up, in that you either have to get someone to teach it to you, or work for a company doing the scut work for a couple of years while you learn. No legible credentials (in non-union states anyway), which may be good or bad depending on your perspective.
I can say I would be quite happy if children of mine went into it. It's honest work and actually quite deep and interesting.
bolido_sentimental
3mo ago
I would commend to you El Astillero (The Shipyard) by Juan Carlos Onetti. One of my personal favorite books.
bolido_sentimental
4mo ago
I just started The Warden by Anthony Trollope. Hits some of the same humorous notes as e.g. Dickens, but in an attractively smaller package that I can realistically finish in a week.
Prior to this I read The White Nile by Alan Moorehead, which describes the hunt for the source of the Nile River and the subsequent efforts of Europeans to open up the region to trade and civilization. Really enjoyable to read, and now I understand who Dr. Livingstone from the famous quote was, what he was up to, etc.
bolido_sentimental
5mo ago
There are many implications to each of these questions.
1.) Honestly, "the transmission is the weak point" is something I've heard about nearly every make of vehicle. They just seem to break more than other components of the drivetrain. Ironically, the only transmission I have direct personal knowledge of failure in was that of my mom's Toyota Camry back in the 2000s. Anyway, the only vehicles I'd specifically avoid for that reason are Nissans. Bear in mind though, this is just my anecdata. You could find hard facts about failure rates if you went looking. My impression was always that Honda made some of the best automatic transmissions around.
I have always gone out of my way to proactively drain + fill automatic transmissions with fresh fluid every 50k miles or so, and have never had a transmission-related problem. On my old Volvos, it was almost exactly the same procedure as replacing the oil, so not a big deal.
2.) I think knowing how to drive stick is a skill worth having. It doesn't take that long to pick that skill up - maybe just one day if you have someone to show you and plenty of time to practice. Additionally - manual transmissions are much more repairable and durable than auto-transmissions, and some people get them just for that reason. You'll be able to drive any vehicle you encounter, and honestly, it's just kind of badass.
I don't like them that much for city driving, though. It's kind of a pain in stop and go traffic.
I have driven a mid-2010s Buick sedan for four years. It's been the best car I've owned in terms of reliability and cost of ownership. And I appreciate that it's more plushy than the most basic transportation appliances. I was a Volvo enthusiast for many years, but I no longer have the spare time or patience to do the maintenance that went into that.
I admit that I find Hondas and Toyotas too common/boring to be worth their sterling reliability rating; most modern cars are so much more reliable than what we used to have that it's not nearly as big a deal as it used to be. (I drove a Honda Accord for many years, and got my fill.) I also have potentially irrational biases against Nissans, Jeeps, and most German makes. I like the looks and features of Stellantis products, but I just can't bring myself to trust them.
The wife and I are actually looking at getting her some kind of crossover in the next few months. Budget is 20k, seeking something certified pre-owned of about 3 to 5 years old. Most common brands are on the table. Something cheap and cheerful like a Mitsubishi would be fine with us, or indeed another Buick like an Encore. If we wanted to spend more money on it, we'd probably go for a Mazda. There's also nothing wrong with Ford Escapes and Edges etc.; but I've driven those and just wasn't very impressed by them. (I also drove a jellybean-type Ford Taurus for some years, and honestly I liked it a lot. I have the opinion that Ford has lost its way.)
I am not closed off to hybrids, but I have a local mechanic who I really like and trust, and he only knows ICE technology. I don't drive long enough distances that the gas mileage benefit of the hybrid is meaningful to me.
bolido_sentimental
5mo ago
Are you a Number Girl enjoyer?
bolido_sentimental
5mo ago
Welcome back @SkookumTree. A lot of us unironically hoped for the best for you in your absence.
bolido_sentimental
6mo ago
I've felt that way ever since I read The Picture of Dorian Gray.
bolido_sentimental
7mo ago
I envy you. Even now, this is the smallest wedding of anyone that I personally know.
I utilized the principle of only inviting the people close enough to me, that they would be hurt if they were not invited. I suppose I am grateful that that sphere has as many people as it does.
bolido_sentimental
7mo ago
She doesn't - which is interesting, right? I do regularly bring up things I read about here, as "something I read about online," and we have great discussions as a result. But she's not the kind of person who gets gratification from reading tens of thousands of words of political and cultural discussion online all day; which is only fair enough. In fact, I'm not sure I have ever known anyone in real life about whom I've thought, "This person could be a Mottizen." It's strange to even think about how any of us came to this point - how many years' worth of obscure blog posts you have to read to know what some of our posters are even talking about.
Anyway - I'm not certain it would be a good thing for two Mottizens to date. (Has it ever happened that we know of?) I don't comment much in the real Culture War thread, not because I don't have opinions, but because I try to keep the culture war itself at arm's length if I can. If she were on here too, it would take over my life even more than it already has. Instead, with her, I can touch grass.
bolido_sentimental
7mo ago
Thanks man. I was going to tell you the other day - I feel like the quality of your posts has improved a lot over the last six months or so. I am learning a lot when you post these days. If you would just stop picking up lifting-related injuries, you'd really have it made.
I am 35 and she is 31 - it took me much too long to get it together, and I wish I now that I would've done this when I was 25. I would have liked to have maybe four kids, but as it stands I think we'd be very happy if we managed three; we're aware of fertility windows, and honestly I myself am a little concerned about how well I'll manage small kids in my 40s. I am already a little bit slower and creakier than I was in my 20s. Two is probably the true most likely outcome.
The primary thing that I think I mainly picked up on from relationship discussions on the Motte, was the legitimate futility of trying to use dating apps as an average-looking guy. It always felt a bit frustrating, but seeing the data drove the truth home. Instead I just worked on becoming a man that would be a good partner, and going out into the world a lot instead of staying inside on the computer. I remember years ago telling people about the concept of "micromarriages," which someone shared on here.
https://colah.github.io/personal/micromarriages/
There are a lot more general world-view things I learned from the Motte, but that concept is the most specifically applicable to romance - if you don't go places, you'll never meet people.
Accordingly - I met my fiancee at a fan group meeting of the local baseball team. It was handy to immediately have a shared interest to talk about, and it was then simple to ask her on our first date - which was to the team's Hall of Fame & Museum. And then while doing those things, we learned about each other's other interests, which made it easy to find new things to do together. It's all been remarkably smooth; maybe this is the fruit of spending many years going on bad dates, being in unsatisfying relationships, and generally gaining life experience.
bolido_sentimental
7mo ago
Many years ago, I visited the town of Smithland, Kentucky; I was there to possibly buy a Lincoln Continental. I ended up not buying it - I have slight regrets about that - but while there I thought, "This would be a nice place to retire to." Just a little tiny town in the total end of nowhere, with houses still being sold for less than 100k in 2024. I wonder if that will still be a viable option when I go to retire in 2058 or so. All I'm really hoping to do in retirement is run a stall in a flea market, play chess, and maybe dig into some really hefty books like City of God.
bolido_sentimental
7mo ago
People of the Motte, I am getting married one week from tomorrow. AMA, I guess. And thanks to everyone for many years of life advice. I've been lurking since the days of /r/slatestarcodex, and I genuinely think that the things I've learned from some of you have helped me reach this happy juncture.
Also - any tips to make the wedding day go smoothly, as well as the first few weeks or months of married life? It's just a small wedding we're having - 50-60 people and a reception at the banquet hall down the street. All less than 15 minutes from home.
bolido_sentimental
9mo ago
I drink it all the time. Most people in the lower classes do.
I have a Pur pitcher, but bizarrely... I like the way the tap water tastes.
bolido_sentimental
9mo ago
Most library systems have a "recommend a title" or "recommend a purchase" page on their website. I have used this on three occasions that I can think of, and in each case the library has gone ahead and purchased it.
You should find this page on your library system's site, and request it; and then follow up. Either they'll get a copy of it, or hopefully give you a reason why.
I am surprised to see that my major-metro library system does have 4 copies of The Bell Curve. And indeed I'm actually currently reading a copy of Camp of the Saints from the library.
bolido_sentimental
9mo ago
Sherrod Brown got the boot here in Ohio, after 21 years in Congress. Obama won Ohio both times, and the state has almost always had one Republican and one Democratic Senator; now all statewide elected officials are Republican. Not a bellwether anymore, I don't guess. I don't know how interesting that really is, but I'm always fascinated by how states flip over time. When I was a kid, it was utterly unimaginable that North Carolina or Georgia could ever be play for the Dems; in future years, they probably will be blue from time to time.
bolido_sentimental
9mo ago
At some point I want to look into how other states handle redistricting. Ohio seems unusual in how gridlocked we are on that.
Something I'll be watching as an Ohioan: we'll be getting a new Senator to replace Vance. I wonder who it could be? Governor DeWine has to appoint someone for the rest of the term. There are local GOP functionaries like Frank LaRose, or maybe it's a chance for Vivek Ramaswamy? Either way, someone will have a chance to raise their national profile.
I went to a baseball watch party at a brewery in the neighborhood, and she was there. To my surprise there was actually a roughly equal gender ratio. It was easy enough to just chat her up given the shared interest which was the premise of the event.
While I had occasional success when I was a young man with meeting true strangers in public settings ("cold approaches" as this is known), I always did much better with what I guess you might call "warm approaches" - friends of friends, interest groups, mixers, small house parties, and other settings where talking to one another is accepted and expected.
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