RussianAmericanMormon
No bio...
User ID: 4365
RussianAmericanMormon
8d ago
My prowess in natural sciences is for all intents and purposes nonexistent, I have always been more humanities-oriented.
RussianAmericanMormon
9d ago
I honestly believe I have knowledge gaps in just about every one of them bar ecosystems and Punnett squares. Gene expression, neurons, enzymes, blood transport, respiratory and gas exchange come to mind.
RussianAmericanMormon
9d ago
Biology as a subject has never been my forte. In high school, I mistakenly took the advice of the majority of people in the grade above mine and opted for biology over physics. Though physics may be more mentally demanding, I appreciate its formulaic nature. Due to my executive dysfunction, I never managed to get biological concepts to fully click in my mind, as much of the learning process felt like rote memorization of Latin-derived jargon I saw no way of applying into my everyday life. I wish to retake my biology exam in November as a private candidate and find a way to get the content to resonate with me. Any actionable advice or resources one could point me to?
RussianAmericanMormon
22d ago
I make a point to keep it to a minimum, usually go on 1-3 week streaks of abstinence. I'm not even some evangelical who views masturbation as actively sinful, but I do believe it is suboptimal as acting on my impulses will only keep me in a negative feedback loop, whereas when I do manage to avoid it, my sex drive will enter a 2-3 hour flare that at that moment will feel insurmountable but will later mellow out. Cc: @5434a
RussianAmericanMormon
25d ago
Late teens, don't know how I go about quantifying it.
RussianAmericanMormon
25d ago
Something else I'm currently struggling with is my libido, I don't know if it's supposed to be this high for me. To my knowledge, it hasn't gotten to the point where it actively interferes with my quality of life, but it periodically flares up and feels oppressive. I've managed to always avoid pornography, and make a point to minimize any content that will feed the cycle, but I've been feeling constricted by it nonetheless. Any advice on how to put it in remission?
RussianAmericanMormon
26d ago
My argument was about skepticism towards psychiatry, not big pharma.
I was trying to quickly type up a joint response to you and the other guy under the same post. Yeah I hear you, but the way that he handled the conversation regardless of his line of thinking is what did it for me. His constant caustic and dismissive attitude towards other people's concerns transcends this particular instance. My relationship with him hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows with this as the turning point, I thought I was already at rock bottom prior to this, and then I realized we hit an even newer low.
I don't blame you for providing the advice you did while operating on limited context, one can never be sure to include every detail that may change the calculus in one way or another when rapidly typing up posts like this. I appreciate your willingness to offer your two cents.
I wholeheartedly appreciate you taking the time to write such a conscientious response with your experience and the statistics you've included! I don't have much to add, but one thing I will tell you is that the suspicion of narcissism has been present for a while. It was certainly not triggered by this alone, though this sure as hell adds insult to the injury. Without getting too personal, I began picking the suspicion up after spending time reading literature, observing healthy family dynamics in movies, having dinner at my pals' houses, etc. and recognizing that something was off about my family. Obviously I ought not to take them as the gospel, but have researched what medical professionals had to say about NPD and have delineated the concrete exchanges I've had with my father to Claude. I provided some examples of the behaviors exhibited by my father a few Wellness Wednesday threads ago, which I've linked in my response to another person replying to my post.
RussianAmericanMormon
26d ago
Not that I mean to excuse any kind of abuse, but at least the situation you described does not sound that bad to me.
Now, there could be many other things wrong that I am not privy to. Your anecdote about the father-thing definitely sounds serious, but I would expect that to be spawned by something a good deal more sinister than not believing his son's claims about having a mental health disability that will require treatment for the rest of his life.
Here's more context if it's of interest: https://www.themotte.org/post/3815/wellness-wednesday-for-june-24-2026/456315?context=8#context
I don't disagree that some degree of healthy skepticism must exist towards "big pharma" because of dubious intellectual property and regulatory practices as well as liability concerns, but that was not at all what he articulated. Do notice the cherry on the top that pissed me off was his later reaction, pushing me to the breaking point when I was already despondent, regardless of the substance of his argument. This is just one of many unpleasant experiences I've had with him growing up, but I'm at my limit.
About a month ago, I posted about my realization that my family dynamics are abnormal and not a classic case of a generational/cultural disconnect I suspected them to be, but that my parents are in fact emotionally unstable. At the time I was pissed and believed that my relationship with them has fallen to rock bottom, but little did I know that was not the case quite yet; I still had the residual baseline of respect for my narcissistic father on the basis that he is my biological father who raised me, who when on an emotional high freed of all discomfort in life, can actually behave decently. I clung onto the idea of what could have been if he sought help. I was willing to be polite with him from a distance, if only I could move out and catch my breath. Even that is no longer the case.
I most likely have inattentive ADHD, and on the off-chance that I don't, there certainly is something else on board. The fact that I am not hyperactive, have always performed well on exams until high school, have always been described as an analytical person with a vocabulary above my grade level, and have seldom inflicted any difficulties unto my teachers or peers means that no teacher has entertained the idea that ADHD could be the issue at hand. Some teachers have flagged that I may have Asperger's, though usually the justification for that has always been weak (e.g. I knew Africa was a continent and not a country at age 5 when most of my peers didn't, in 9th grade I struggled to make friends when navigating a language barrier in a country notoriously difficult for socialization, etc.). My parents never went ahead and did anything with that information, not because they believed I didn't have Asperger's, but rather because they were too prideful and didn't want some naive pedagogues be the reason I land on a mandatory autism registry that does not exist. They still weaponized the notion that I did have Asperger's against me in arguments, using autism as an insult at times if I said or did something they didn't like. The overlap that I did have with autism was that my coordination was poor, and I was curious about subjects most people my age were not. That said, my niche interests have never been a monomaniacal obsession I needed to force onto others, but rather a tool for synthesizing ideas and finding ways I can apply them. On the contrary, the demonization of autism that I've constantly heard from a young age have led me to be hypervigilant about people not picking up that I know more than what's expected of me in a certain subject, though thankfully my inhibition has now gone down considerably after attending church for the past year and meeting people who I know value me for who I am with no strings attached.
When I recently heard somebody say that when teachers give a student the "you're not realizing your full potential" line, there's often a high probability the student has undiagnosed ADHD, I began to investigate the symptoms further. I've always felt a constitutional incapability of being neat and organized, teachers have often observed a delta between my oral participation and performance on formal examinations vs. my output on a regular assignment/project, I am capable of hyperfocusing in one subject and go down a rabbit hole of Substacks and academic articles, while one I've never been passionate about such as biology may simply not click with me and I will be unable to initiate the process of studying to a point of near-paralysis. The posts I've made about my paranoia when making advances with women, that's likely rejection sensitivity dysphoria. Handing a woman my number over DMs knowing damn well it may get left on delivered is even more draining for me, I did it today so we'll see how it goes. For the same reason, I also get more pissed when I see a misrepresentation of my reasoning or any uncharitable behavior when trying to have a constructive discussion online.
Well, the other day, I mentioned to my father that I am in the process of pursuing a formal diagnosis for inattentive ADHD. He accused me of taking the easy route (I guess brushing off academic performance beyond my caliber, settling for poorer educational institutions and workplaces, and refusing tools that facilitate my success is the difficult route per his contortions). He justified his skepticism towards the medication by mentioning one anecdote of my younger brother taking Concerta with no discernible effects, saying that he'd rather not take any mind-altering chemicals as his output would then not be entirely his own doing. I asked him why he wears glasses, another tool that allows people to maximize their success and eliminate a tractable disadvantage, and he told me it's an apples-to-oranges comparison as glasses are a physical object and not medicine. He told me that there are many things I can do before taking medication, such as improving my sleeping schedule, managing my screen time, eating more, as if it isn't a Catch-22 problem. What I find most disconcerting is the fact that my younger brother who is at an age where he's not quite as analytical and self-aware will have to endure this negligence and disregard for his well-being for another few years. In the end, I got despondent and was visibly agonized, and my father had the audacity to tell me I'm the one gloating over this. He was always capable of treating me in a very undignified manner, but it was typically calculated and subtle. For him to brazenly invalidate my medical needs is a new low.
If all goes according to plan, I'll be out of this house in a couple of weeks, and now that I see him for all that he is, I will unhesitantly be cutting contact with that prick. I remember when I was 13 or so, I watched a video adaptation of several sci-fi novels by Phillip K. Dick on Amazon Prime. One of them was The Father-thing, where an alien eats a child's father and perfectly replicates his external appearance. Relating to its plotline was not on my bingo card, but here we are.
RussianAmericanMormon
28d ago
The "elite" Mormons are very solidly Blue Tribe
The LDS church is one of the few denominations where more frequent church attendance is correlated with higher education levels, while also being correlated with a higher propensity to vote Republican.
RussianAmericanMormon
28d ago
they're officially creationist
Wrong. The church has no official stance on evolution, though BYU has consistently taught that evolution is compatible with LDS doctrine. To the extent that creationist sentiment exists within the Church, it is chiefly Old Earth Creationism.
RussianAmericanMormon
1mo ago
Well I'd still retain my surname. The issue is that my name translated into English is one of the most common Anglophone names in existence, up there with James, Michael, David, and John.
RussianAmericanMormon
1mo ago
While my name is only semi-common in Russia, the English cognate is actually one of the most generic names in existence, so I figure if I'm going to change my name, I might as well make it something a tad more colorful.
RussianAmericanMormon
1mo ago
Changing a surname's suffix from -ov to -off has been a common practice among older émigrés, -off reads as a smoother spelling in the English language. It's no different from an Irishman changing his surname from "Ó Domhnaill" to "O'Donnell". Like I said earlier, I don't mind retaining a subtle hint of Russian heritage, just that my name will at least sound Russian-American instead of that of a person who could've arrived here straight from the Urals yesterday.
RussianAmericanMormon
1mo ago
I wouldn't even say it's me being actively ashamed of it that drives me; I just feel like I'm wearing clothes that don't fit me. I grew up watching the same American movies and TV shows my peers did and wished I could have a WASPy name that actually fits my mannerisms, values, and disposition, which instead clashes with a name in the vein of Ivan Smirnov or Dimitri Makarov. Validation from others is the least of my concerns; I know I can still belong in America as an Ivan Smirnov, but I'd rather be a Randall Smirnoff which would feel more harmonious with my Reagan Bush '84 hat, gray polo, Ford F-150, Dr Pepper, and watching rally racing.
RussianAmericanMormon
1mo ago
Regarding wearing it with pride, I'm not doing this for the validation of others; that's the least of my concerns. One of the many ways America is unique is that I can be whoever I please regardless of whether I'm in California or in Mississippi, which I've grown to appreciate as the same can't be said for the part of Europe where I'm temporarily based in. I'll share my response to birb_cromble explaining my rationale here.
Hmm, I get your sentiment, but my rationale is that I can still retain a subtle reminder of my heritage while changing the suffix of my surname from -ov to -off. I grew up watching the same American movies and TV shows my peers did, and always wished I could have a WASPier name, or at least an international one that isn't so aggressively Slavic. Rawhide Kobayashi is still descended from the Kobayashi family, even if he now goes by Rawhide.
I won't deny that aesthetics play a role. I know that in a large and diverse Sun Belt metro area, people will be nonplussed by some guy with a Russian name otherwise acting like an ordinary Southern man, but I just love the way Randy Smirnoff or Hank Smirnoff would sit on me as I wear my Reagan Bush '84 hat and drive my Ford F-150, as opposed to my current Ivan Smirnov (not my actual name, using another name that is as exceedingly Russian in order to demonstrate my point).
Hmm, I get your sentiment, but my rationale is that I can still retain a subtle reminder of my heritage while changing the suffix of my surname from -ov to -off. I grew up watching the same American movies and TV shows my peers did, and always wished I could have a WASPier name, or at least an international one that isn't so aggressively Slavic. Rawhide Kobayashi is still descended from the Kobayashi family, even if he now goes by Rawhide.
I won't deny that aesthetics play a role. I know that in a large and diverse Sun Belt metro area, people will be nonplussed by some guy with a Russian name otherwise acting like an ordinary Southern man, but I just love the way Randy Smirnoff or Hank Smirnoff would sit on me as I wear my Reagan Bush '84 hat and drive my Ford F-150, as opposed to my current Ivan Smirnov (not my actual name, using another name that is as exceedingly Russian in order to demonstrate my point).
Believe me, I'm not doing this to prove my Americanness to others; everybody who knows me is quick to see it from my values and disposition. I want to do it for myself, to wear a name that fits me.
RussianAmericanMormon
1mo ago
This name has the negative connotation of XKCD author Randall Munroe. (But see also Antiplanner author Randal O'Toole.)
If I were to name myself Randall, it would be in honor of Randy Bachman and Randy Travis.
This name has the negative connotation of infamous white supremacist Richard Spencer.
These sound more like snooty English names than down-to-earth American names.
Spencer would be in honor of Spencer Kimball. It's a pretty common name in an upwardly mobile Sun Belt suburb while not being quite as snooty as Emory or Porter.
RussianAmericanMormon
1mo ago
Because I'm an American of Russian descent and have no necessity to deny that, what I'm not is a Russian who just so happens to have found himself in America.
RussianAmericanMormon
1mo ago
I currently have an egregiously Ruski name that I seek to do away with in favor of an all-American first name and an Americanized iteration of my surname that fits my identity as a Southerner who only so happens to be of Russian descent while not being remotely aligned with the Russian worldview. In many ways, I'm a real-life unironic Rawhide Kobayashi who aims to out-Southern my bloodline American counterparts; I rock jean jackets, camo Cabela's hats, Oakleys, and overalls with checkered shirts. I love me some Faulkner and my accent is as broad as Georgie Cooper's. I believe there's a distinction between my brand of Southern gentleman in a Hank Williams and brisket and peach cobbler sense as opposed to the Salt Life, Skoal, and Kid Rock brand of legitimate redneck.
Here's a list of names I am contemplating; let me know your thoughts as to which one would be the best fit:
- Randall
- Spencer
- Grant
- Lance
- Russell
- Hank
RussianAmericanMormon
1mo ago
Ah screw me, I'm slow. Stayed up all night and it's 6AM here.
RussianAmericanMormon
1mo ago
Hmm, with regards to activity and the people who post, I do think it depends on the sub-forum. Like many other forums, you have a select few crap-stirring regulars that make the experience less pleasant, and once you know which handles to ignore, it gets much easier to participate. There are some neighborhoods and suburbs that some people treat as the be-all and end-all, but I also do see healthy pushback to those kinds of sentiments by others. I appreciate that the people who post there tend to be more articulate and conscientious than Facebook or Reddit users, even if that bar is in hell. I would definitely consult CityData before a turboprogressive city sub if I wanted to solicit some relocation advice.
Personally, there's just something surreal about browsing through 2008 threads about the subdivision I grew up in, or one about a small town an American friend I've met here in Europe tells me he was raised in. You get to learn about the local chamber of commerce, gossip about municipal scandals, hidden gems such as an art gallery or a biking trail most people in the area don't know about, and the agreeable subdivisions of an otherwise poorly reputed suburb, etc. As a zoomer, I imagine this is the closest I'll get to living in the 2000s zeitgeist along with watching TV shows and listening to music from that time window.
RussianAmericanMormon
1mo ago
Is there any overlap between this forum and development forums in the vein of SkyscraperCity and CityData? SkyscraperCity is an urbanist forum, and I find it intriguing to browse threads there to see what infrastructure projects various cities are undertaking, including my nearest city.
CityData was originally more of a real estate forum where people could start threads to inquire about life in various American suburbs and small towns, and it's quite fascinating to learn about the amenities and ins and outs of a random small town most people overlook in a state that I've never set foot in. It's branched out into different subforums for politics, philosophy, theology, and hobbies. In a sense, it is like a smaller Reddit that is substituted with conservative boomers. The caliber of discourse tends to be higher as you don't have stoned vegetables giving their dilettante conjectures, though it does have a few occasional trolls.
I don't watch those particular shows but usually that isn't challenging, it's answering open-ended questions and having to delineate specific processes in choronological order that eludes me.
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