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Wellness Wednesday for August 19, 2026

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

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Something else I'm currently struggling with is my libido, I don't know if it's supposed to be this high for me. To my knowledge, it hasn't gotten to the point where it actively interferes with my quality of life, but it periodically flares up and feels oppressive. I've managed to always avoid pornography, and make a point to minimize any content that will feed the cycle, but I've been feeling constricted by it nonetheless. Any advice on how to put it in remission?

How old are you? And how high is your libido?

Late teens, don't know how I go about quantifying it.

How many times a day are you masturbating?

I make a point to keep it to a minimum, usually go on 1-3 week streaks of abstinence. I'm not even some evangelical who views masturbation as actively sinful, but I do believe it is suboptimal as acting on my impulses will only keep me in a negative feedback loop, whereas when I do manage to avoid it, my sex drive will enter a 2-3 hour flare that at that moment will feel insurmountable but will later mellow out. Cc: @5434a

You could try to find a better balance between too much and too little, but it sounds like you're already there. It will always be a trade-off between the distracting thoughts that accrue during abstention and the relative sexual lethargy that follows relief. You might as well get used to it, it doesn't go away and there's no practical way to merely dial it down to the perfect level and keep it there. It would be like trying to keep your bladder half full, only more challenging.

The psychological approach would be to sublimate the drive and direct it into other activities but I think that's misleading. Exercising or competing for status or what have you might be more personally productive but you'll come out the other end just as horny as you went in, probably more so. This is not a phenomenon that originates within the mind. You can't meditate your way around it. You can either find a sex partner, masturbate, or endure until it resolves spontaneously.

I meant more along the lines of how much you would like to masturbate if you didn't try to limit it.

Like if it's once or twice a day then that is perfectly normal for a teenager. If you would like to spend all your time gooning then that is another matter.

Young men are just horny and it will peter out as you get older. You might have a preference to masturbate less but the desire to do so more is normal. I've found that keeping busy, spending time with others and exercising once or twice a day helped.

If I tried to limit masturbating to once every 1-3 weeks in my teens then I would have gone crazy.