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non_radical_centrist  1yr ago (farhakhalidi.substack.com)   8302 thread views

confessions of a femcel: why i'm a 24 year old female virgin.

farhakhalidi.substack.com

It's an essay about the various flaws modern feminist sex positivity culture has for women, and that it's often a good idea to refrain from sex even if one isn't religious. The author is an Only Fans model for context. I thought it did a great job laying out the downsides of ubiquitous sex.(Reposted because I accidentally linked to reddit instead of the original essay earlier).

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Jesus. I made the mistake of reading the whole thing. This poor woman was indoctrinated well before her critical thinking was up and running (like most religions, they've got to get you early because it doesn't work once you can think), and internalized all of her mother's insane religious rants. She thinks she didn't because she did little acts of teenage rebellion, but she did. Now she is so fucked up about the whole thing she is doing only fans. JFC... Many woman enthusiastically enjoy sex in a healthy way. This poor gal is mentally ill.

How do you think women should behave when it comes to modern dating and hook ups?

Obviously not the parent poster, but one glaring thing about the whole essay is that she doesn't seem to waste a single word of reflection on what she, or the other women she talks about, could have done to avoid the bad outcomes they experienced. A good start would be to spend some thought on questions like: why was I attracted to the guy that turned out to be a jerk? What did he say that made me believe he would be or do something he actually wouldn't? Could I have recognised the deception beforehand? Were some experiences better than others? What set those apart? Is there a way I could optimise in that direction in the future? Instead, she is lamenting it in the fashion of people who complain that everything on TV is boring, or social media addicts who lament that their social media is toxic and make periodic shows of quitting it, only to inevitably come back and resume being prime contributors to it being toxic for everyone else.

Obviously not the parent poster, but one glaring thing about the whole essay is that she doesn't seem to waste a single word of reflection on what she, or the other women she talks about, could have done to avoid the bad outcomes they experienced.

I thought it was pretty clear. They should've more firmly said no to sex when they weren't interested, and they should've had their guard up more against men who just wanted to use them as cum rags.

Not like this.

I've never been a fan of condemning someone's solution without offering your own alternative.

She didn't have a solution, she just didn't do it.

She didn't have a complete solution, but I interpreted it as a fairly clear message that we as a culture should pressure women into casual sex less, and that that women should take the agency to refuse casual sex more.

This is a fucked up chick raised on hardcore Islamic dogma doing porn, and offering her take on sexuality as maybe a viral advertisement. I think we should take the opposite stance of whatever she proposes.

What do you think the opposite of what she proposes is? That we should encourage young women to have drunk hook ups, while also simultaneously we should honour kill them for being sluts?

Maybe a normal dating life in college involving nothing even close to any of that.

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