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non_radical_centrist  26d ago (farhakhalidi.substack.com)   5622 thread views

confessions of a femcel: why i'm a 24 year old female virgin.

farhakhalidi.substack.com

It's an essay about the various flaws modern feminist sex positivity culture has for women, and that it's often a good idea to refrain from sex even if one isn't religious. The author is an Only Fans model for context. I thought it did a great job laying out the downsides of ubiquitous sex.(Reposted because I accidentally linked to reddit instead of the original essay earlier).

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Jesus. I made the mistake of reading the whole thing. This poor woman was indoctrinated well before her critical thinking was up and running (like most religions, they've got to get you early because it doesn't work once you can think), and internalized all of her mother's insane religious rants. She thinks she didn't because she did little acts of teenage rebellion, but she did. Now she is so fucked up about the whole thing she is doing only fans. JFC... Many woman enthusiastically enjoy sex in a healthy way. This poor gal is mentally ill.

This poor gal is mentally ill.

Okay. Now you just need to convince women collectively that sex-positive Feminism works fine, actually, and their ocean of complaints and concerns should be discarded. That they shouldn't actually feel like shit when they get pumped and dumped, that the shame and humiliation are all in their heads and sex really is just an idle amusement with zero deep connection to human psychology that should have no consequences ever.

I haven't done more than skimming the article, but she seems to be laying out how she rejected her religious upbringing and went all-in on sex-positivism, and yet still found that sex-positivism didn't actually deliver on its promises. And your argument is... what? That she should have just gone ahead and fucked and everything would have been fine? What about the women who did fuck, and regret it?

Well I did more than skim; I would ask you do the same before passing judgement on my analysis. There are some deeply troubling stories in her narrative that don't line up with what I know about the college world, most people I know met their life partner in college and it sounds like she didn't even give it a shot. There are many ways to have a fulfilling sex life, including exclusive monogamy, she was too fucked up by her upbringing to try any of them.

I mean she is doing porn for money now, something went wrong. None of the "sluts" I met in college are doing that, they are all happily married with a few kids, mostly with people they met in college.

I mean she is doing porn for money now

Is that an actual bad outcome? She earns far more money than she would using her degree. If it's solely as a result that it'll be harder for her to find a job or a man after she ages and Only Fans doesn't work for her anymore, what'd go wrong with changing society not to hold Only Fans as a black mark against her?

Yes. Doing porn for money is a bad outcome. Does she earn a lot? I've never heard of her, and by all accounts only fans is not really that profitable unless you're in the top 1%

You think a good outcome for a young woman is being a 24 year old amateur porn actor/producer? I don't know anyone that thinks that or does that.

Does she earn a lot?

I believe so, I don't know her exact numbers but she happily took an OF career over a law career.

You think a good outcome for a young woman is being a 24 year old amateur porn actor/producer?

If she's making good money off of it, then yeah, all the power to her. I'm more concerned about the men who pay for it tbh, I'd expect most of her subscribers are lonely men who aren't able to get any consistent romance in real life so they pay to get a scrap of personalized sexual attention from her. But I think what I interpreted to be her proposed solution, that woman be more selective with who they sleep with and avoid hook ups with fuckboys(aka Chads in incel lingo) and that they hold out for relationships, would lead to better outcomes for men too.

she happily took an OF career over a law career.

This doesn't tell you anything. I graduated with decent grades from a T-15 law school in a major US metropolitan area and didn't crack $80k/yr for several years out of law school. Lawyer pay is extremely bimodal, and there's a lot of people who get their newly-minted JD only to find themselves with 5 or 6-figure debts but making significantly less than the Assistant Manager at the local Panda Express.

Sounds like good reasons not to be a lawyer

I mean, if your only reason for becoming a lawyer is "it will pay me a squintillion bucks," then yes. This is a very good reason not to be a lawyer, and frankly, good riddance. The law is too important, and the current profession too corrupted as it is.

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