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Culture War Roundup for the week of October 3, 2022

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In my dating apps experience, putting anything other than 'left' in politics was putting the difficulty on Very Hard.

Which is funny since like 99% of the time in actually matching/talking/meeting girls their own political beliefs were like 60th percentile Left or it just didn't come up.

I feel like on dating apps there's a certain Strawmanization of political spectrum where 'Right = Super fascist' and 'Moderate/Apolitical/whatever = Hiding Super Fascist'. Like how hard is it to just avoid talking about politics for a couple dates until there's enough of a rapport to actually countenance a conversation.

I feel like on dating apps there's a certain Strawmanization of political spectrum where 'Right = Super fascist' and 'Moderate/Apolitical/whatever = Hiding Super Fascist'.

Two analogies:

  1. My father always talked about interviewing guys for jobs, and he'd ask questions like "We start early on work days, do you think you can make it on time?" And some guys would respond "Eh, you know, normally, but sometimes I sleep in." My father's take on it was, not only was this a guy who might show up late (almost everyone shows up at 6:10 instead of 6:00 some days), he didn't even know the right answer to the question! He thought it was acceptable to say he was going to sleep in; at least a guy who lied and said he'd be there every day at 6:00 knew that he was supposed to show up on time.

  2. Dan Savage has talked in his advice column about how in high school it can seem like all the gay kids are flaming camp queens, because those are the only kids that are out in high school, because they have to be out. Their closet is made of glass, their mannerisms would give them away in a heartbeat if they tried to stay closeted. The "normal" masculine straight passing gay men can safely stay closeted at that point in their lives, but after graduation when things are safer come out.

So if listing your politics as "Right Wing" or even "Moderate" is the objectively wrong answer in online dating, then doing so means you probably fall under either 1) or 2). Either you don't even know the socially correct answer, so you're a maladroit chump, that's not an attractive look; or you're so right wing that you can't possibly stay in the closet about it, it would be too obvious, which regardless of your politics isn't a good look, and quite likely maps onto something like "superfascist" anyway.

Note that this does not require that the women making the judgment "actually" care about a man having right-wing politics, only that they know that right-wing politics are a socially unacceptable answer in an online dating context. Everything follows from that.

I think you're father is wrong in that he is selecting for men with a propensity to lie. Or just be super conformist.

"Hypocrisy is the tribute that vice pays to virtue." We all have vices, if we stop paying tribute that means we aren't even acknowledging virtue's sovereignty anymore.

Someone who answers that he always comes to work on time probably isn't lying, so much as setting a goal that he almost certainly won't meet. Consider a different scenario: if I ask a room full of fat people "Are you going to lose weight this year?"; some say "Yes, I'm definitely going to lose the weight, this is the diet/exercise plan that's going to do it" some say "Yes, I want to, so I will" and some say "Nope, I'm just fat, this is who I am." Probably not that many will really lose weight. But more people in group 1 will lose weight than in group 2, and nobody in group 3 will lose weight. They aren't even trying to be better.

If you're the type who is "honest" about being a shitty employee, that doesn't really indicate you're a good honest employee, it means you're definitely a shitty employee and nothing will fix you, because even if I sit over your shoulder and watch you you're still going to be a shitty employee and just say something like "Hey, I'm just being honest, I'm not gonna hide it, man."

I haven't been late in four years.

You're an extraordinary man, then.

you're so right wing that you can't possibly stay in the closet about it, it would be too obvious, which regardless of your politics isn't a good look, and quite likely maps onto something like "superfascist" anyway.

Agreed the more I think about it. Having enough social awareness to just tick 'Left' on the politics box and 'hide your power level' is a key stumbling block, and also confirms that you're less likely to be a complete pastiche of a raving QAnon-type or whatever overtly, regardless of what your true beliefs are.

This is definitely not the first time I've heard the "Republican is the new gay" theory, and I'm sure it won't be the last, either. The analogy works well, and comes with a extra-large side of layered irony.