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Married men of the motte, I need a sanity check.
To put it bluntly, my partner is lower status and less intelligent than I am. 110 vs 125 IQ points. middle class vs upper middle class.
We've been together for a year and our relationship is otherwise great (unrelated mental hang ups i have posted about here before aside). I can see myself marrying and being content.
Unfortunately, I am a pretty HBD-pilled individual, and the concept of my future children potentially being less intelligent and of phenotypically lower status fills me with dread. (The woman in question has many many positive qualities I DO want my kids to have.)
Is it over? Is that alone enough to say I should break up because that shows how I don't really love her etc? Are doubts like this normal for a young guy who's maybe getting commitment anxiety?
I come from a family of fairly accomplished people. Upper middle class academics and some geniuses. Her family generationally is lower/middle middle class.
My children would inherit this.
Now I should add that her family is of perfectly average to above average intelligence. The biggest difference is that they have very little intellectual curiosity. Abysmal levels of general knowledge, archetypical shape rotators.
(They do have their own opinions and are independent thinkers but they are deeply "practical people")
I thought this wouldn't bother me, and it doesn't, in the relationship. But I dread my kids being like that.
Narcissism? Does my girlfriend secretly disgust me? Am I giving this too much thought? I really want some outside opinion on this, preferably by people with children. This is obviously something I can only talk about on this forum.
Man, this thread is an advertisement for the utility of the concept of infohazard. All I can think is that you would have been much, much happier if you'd simply absorbed the completely false polite fictions around intelligence and heredity that so many people believe.
I don't know about you, but I'd much rather be burdened by knowledge than live in ignorant bliss in most cases.
Are there situations where not knowing something bad will happen might be better? Sure. But not in most cases. If I had metastatic pancreatic cancer that would kill me in a year or two, I'd live my life very differently, and maximize it to the best of my abilities instead of being blindsided.
In this particular case, the social fiction is clearly to the detriment of his goals and values. He could probably knock up a gorgeous bimbo and have a great time doing it, except when his kids turn out to be dumb(er) than he is. They might be better looking, and that's certainly a perk, but I'd have to look very good to trade even a small number of IQ points for it.
His understanding of heridity makes him strictly better off, even if it causes him some pain such as the prospect of having to break up with a perfectly nice sounding person in the hopes of finding someone better (and there's no reason to assume he can't). C'est la vie.
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