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Wellness Wednesday for October 5, 2022

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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i've seen this girl couple of times, texted couple of times, she's texted me once (initiate conversation). it's probable she likes me. in my head i've raised the stakes, i keep telling myself i have to wife her, otherwise i might not talk/take any action at all. the downside is i haven't been able to focus on anything since 4 days (or perhaps i just want to pin the blame on her?). anyhow, without going into too many details, how do i bring back focus again on my goals and also be able to talk to this person that i am not very casual about?

not sure how much we want wellness wednesday to be dating advice, but im sure many have been in my shoes at some point, and would have some helpful words. or perhaps just posting my problem here would help, because i've not told my friends any of it (they'd naturally assume im crazy, which they probably do already).

edit: one solution i've been pondering over is to go into caloric deficit for couple of weeks (i've found it helps with urges/impulses)

how do i bring back focus again on my goals and also be able to talk to this person that i am not very casual about?

Ooh, I remember asking myself this exact question 12 years ago when I had a huge crush. I remember thinking "If only I could speak to my future self, he'd have all the answers."

Well, I'm sorry to say but there doesn't seem to be a cure for unrequited love. I haven't discovered or come across anything that would have solved the problem at the time. The good news is pretty much everybody goes through this. So most likely, you won't be judged too harshly for the stupid things you might do.

The least harmful advice I can think of, is to tell her soon-ish so that she shoots you down and your normal life can resume sooner. More brooding will not lead to a better outcome.