practical_romantic
Pretending to be a cs undergrad.
User ID: 975
practical_romantic
6mo ago
I am Indian who lives in India lol. I'd never want to live in SEA if I were a guy living in the west as my ultimate aims are making a whole bunch of money and having a large family.
Can't do either in SEA. SEA is a quality of life improvement for me as India is not just dirt poor, corrupt, hates higher castes (especially mine) but also a place of scarcity in every sense.
I met people from various places in chiang mai and even spent a week alone in pai, something I had never done before in my life, be alone somewhere for a few days straight for a vacation.
How's America pussy prison 😆?
I came back home from chiang mai and it was quite a trip. I felt like I finally grew up as a person. By the end my roommate wrote a goodbye note and the driver started chopping onions or something. I'll take the week off and start working again but I noticed a bunch of things different about me.
Ship fast, daily and think of it all the time
Self explanatory. Also try to not go broke whilst building your mvp. In my case, my roommate had ways to get money regularly so we'd be ok
girls
I went out about 20 times in a months time at night and opened 300 plus girls. Many were attracted to me the moment I started chatting and I'm a social dynamo now. I remember coming here back in 2021, terrible with girls and now I've had more interesting experiences than anyone I know besides one or two guys. I can't imagine why I found my oneitis to even be attractive now and am glad for not settling before.
other social interactions
I was at the airport last night and began vibing with this Estonian guy where we both began playing kanye's music on his phone, then the same with a French guy. Back in chiang mai I stole or tried stealing girls from two guys, both naturals or Chad going by one's lingo, my height but weighed 20-30 kgs more and both forced their Instagrams on me. One took me aside for 10 minutes and told me how awesome I was to talk to. I had guys try to get my Instagram because they liked my vibe lol.
why you should travel
You learn so much more. Sure it's not a primary thing but it's super important. Make money, meditate, get jacked and travel. I'll come back soon again lol
practical_romantic
6mo ago
I had the most this entire week by literally doing nothing. All the nothing in the world. Wake up, grab coffee with other digital-nomad/traveler/expat friends, sit around the coffee shop next to the 7/11 in front of my apartment in chiang mai next to central festival and chat for hours.
I later went to the old city with that jacked middle aged Russian ex rust programmer friend d. It's insane seeing how influential Buddha has been. What's even funnier is that I'm one of the people from the same caste/lineage as him and funnily enough one of the first to revive the sacred thread. So it was surreal seeing sculptures of him wearing the sacred thread, the same one I wear. His physical descriptions match mine, alas hie had blue eyes whilst I don't.
It's so fun, just doing nothing, literally just sit around, talking, having random people drop by. I'll obviously be doing literally the opposite of this in a week or so since I'll be leaving. Past few weeks felt like I was back in high school in terms of how little worry I had about life. Partly because I knew that this was temporary stuff. My internet usage went down quite a bit where I only post stuff here and about the girls I'm meeting on reddit.
I'll probably read the mystery method and Geeta end to end this week. Chiang Mai is a nice town, you can sit in the sun here with your shirt off, something you can only do back home in the month of March. There's dragon flies around. I feel very content so just wanted to post about it.
practical_romantic
6mo ago
The internet was a far better place 15 years ago. The accumulation of all traffic into the hands of 5 companies would lead to even more issues. I have yt premium since I am from India even though I am in chiang mai, you get it for 3 dollars a month for a family of 5 but they will surely jack up the prices here too.
practical_romantic
6mo ago
Ahh, yeah lol, my bad. I'm glad to have had these experiences, share them and get feedback. I'm very lucky.
practical_romantic
6mo ago
I despise them as primary sources of entertainment. Ofc it's my career but I'm agaisnt people spending their lives using these devices to surf mindlessly
practical_romantic
6mo ago
No safe way around it. You can jack off regularly to reduce the effects of male urges but any other treatment is you messing your hormones which isn't good.
Perhaps mindfulness and you being around more sexually arousing things may dessensitize you.
practical_romantic
6mo ago
Do tell me about the book, what it's called and what it talks about.
I as a person try to avoid anyone who says anything nice about me and actively try to not listen since I can only see the bad in me. More than that I don't want to be like one of those ig models who think they're the prettiest things ever only to have their world break the moment someone better looking enters their life.
Even with girls, whenever I talk to them, I try to avoid paying attention to the good they say as I'm afraid I'll be a guy who gets hooked onto positive interactions on the surface level and never grow beneath that.
I look forward to posting weekly updates too :)
Yeah. I don't see them as transactional things. You meet people, you try helping them, they try helping you and in the process life becomes better.
I spend my free time just hanging out with people here and it's really fun. My hatred for screens and internet is more active because I know what's out there, even the little things in life are great luxuries compared to being online.
The Russian guy was having some issues recently and was extremely appreciative of me and sometimes my roommates staying over and talking to him and just hanging out. It felt amazing, to simply be and experience life this way. Even in the tiny things where just me being here is helping out someone who I am good friends and respect. I will not be able to do this again with him since I'll leave though life's long, doing well would mean me having good relations with others like him who I'll meet soon.
practical_romantic
6mo ago
I will leave Chiang Mai this or next week and I am a little bittersweet about it. I have been sorta working in startups for close to a year without any progress and will go back home and work on a prototype for a tool for developers. This will be the first time in my life that I will be working without direct supervision and get an apartment in a different, smaller town, away from my parents if I can. My role in my previous startups was non-technical and that was not as helpful. My responsibilities were not fixed plus I did not develop any skills as a programmer at all. My depressive episodes and malaise stem from a lack of skills, routine and clear path towards something meaningful. There is not much point staying in Chiang Mai on my roommate's dime since I do not have a job, I came to assist him on his startup but we both fell out. I will help out my friends with their e-commerce venture (they have this alongside startup stuff) part-time to get a regular income and then work on my own on my startup.
In hindsight, I should have just started working on my own thing a year ago. Being a janitor in a startup where the speed of shipping is not very fast is not ideal and I am a little scared about posting this stuff online but I just want to let this stuff out for once. But that is what I was, a janitor.
Chiang Mai was good. My first time ever out of the nation. I met some really cool people. This jacked middle-aged Russian dude named D who worked as a programmer and read a whole bunch of classic literature. He clicked very well with me and in broken English would tell me a whole lot about life. His analysis of me being someone who needs a strict routine and some meaning in my life to work on more, and how I try to "sell" myself to others in attempts to get them to like me instead of being who I am more freely. I met guys like this dutch ex party head who now runs e-commerce in Africa, a Russian girl who works for a gambling organisation, and a rich Thai guy who abused every drug known to mankind and now has black feet from it.
Pieter Levels, the most popular digital nomad often recalls his early days nomading, stating that he'd meet super interesting people, like this one Aussie guy who would travel to Thailand with just his laptop and charger, buy clothes when he would touch down and donate them all before he left. D of all people left a big impact on me, making me start working out again and how daily callisthenics is enough, and more importantly, how daily physical exercise is more important for the mind more than anything else. I saw this movie named The Island, a Russian movie about regret and of all I would miss him the most.
I have not had irl friends since 2016 in a sense. I would have close friends on the internet and meet them occasionally but never irl friends who I meet daily without scheduling meetups, organically and learn a lot from. I dont want to leave chiang mai but I am at this point a burden on my roommate, and even if I were not, I would have had to return anyway to get a hang of the e-commerce stuff and learn some cs topics to help with my startup. Leaving is bittersweet. I actually had fun. I actually liked hanging out with people after a while. Learning about literature, music, movies and just life in Eastern Bloc and so much more. Back home, people would find my tendency to say hi to everyone and try to talk to them a weird low status thing whereas the expats here are happy to talk. They all have a story to tell. Sure they are not world beaters but neither is anyone I know of, more importantly, there is more to life than just what you do. People around me have this faux superiority complex where everyone is looked down upon unless they are like fucking silicon valley billionaires or conquerors like Alexander but if you are someone who is that good, you probably would be fine talking to most people since everyone is below you in the hierarchy anyway.
Truth is, I liked meeting good people irl. People who like me for being who I am. I was a hermit for a decade, yeah I would visit uni and stuff but I never could connect with anyone since people in uni hated me for a lot of petty reasons. Most nomads are not perfect and I don't want to be one long term but I wish I met more of them. I finally felt feelings for a girl, tried a bunch of narcotics, finally partied like a normal person and got to experience life beyond what a guy my age experiences in a small town. I hated Chiang Mai when I landed and my roommate would get angry whenever I would say hi to random people but since I stopped working with him on his startup, I have been able to take time off, make friends who I connect with and finally take an adult vacation for the first time in my life, ever. Up until this point, I had never explicitly taken any days off. They would mostly be me having some anxiety in the back of my mind whilst not getting any work done but for the first time in years, I finally took a week off completely and loved every single second of it. I kept posting about wanting to meet girls and got to cold approach nearly a hundred girls, all attractive tourists from various nations. My oneitis which I could not get over for years became an afterthought a few days into a normal vacation spot. Most of what I knew about girls came from the internet or from stuff others told me but I had never experienced what talking to them was like beyond my small town and it was amazing. Rajasthan or any city in India does not display what life holds, it is all little leagues and scarcity. Despite being somewhat better looking than the average guy from where I am from, I had loads of girls tell me that they found me attractive and wished to spend more time with me. I had guys come up to me and tell me that they liked hanging out with me a lot in a non homo way lol.
I look forward to the next few months. Finally on my own and doing something really hard, I will resume weekly updates so that I can have accountability. My skills as a programmer are at best noob tier and the idea I am working on is itself based on a strong hunch a good wise friend of mine had who himself wished to work on it before, 2 years ago but could not due to tech not being good enough which it is now. I am sorry for writing these long winding posts but I have no one else to talk to about this stuff. My friends will judge me for writing about them online and I cannot be weak in front of my parents who already have gone through a lot.
Things I experienced are not unique or special. By my own faults and laziness, I fucked my life up where I got to be this manchild by age 24
practical_romantic
7mo ago
The main diety for my clan is a female goddess who is the divine mother.
I never noticed it came off like this, I used to be too much of a wuss so maybe I overcompensated here.
practical_romantic
7mo ago
I got hurt before and have acted like a wuss. The Pua stuff helped me avoid those tendencies.
I had to mention the fact that I couldn't sleep with her because for the first time in a while, I felt something for a girl without having even been physical. Rather, first time I felt anything and that too despite not having done anything physical.
I do agree with a lot of what you wrote. I am just lost and I don't know how to move forward. Pickup helped me a lot but I can't see my own internal contradictions which is why I post.
practical_romantic
7mo ago
I don't see them as people beneath me. There are some people who get to enjoy the company of various women in a short duration of time in their youth and I wish to be one of them. If I meet a girl who I find attractive and wish to engage with, I try to do so in a respectful manner that's playful and not at all leech like or creepy.
I like women. I like meeting them, seeing them smile, make jokes and the entire experience. At a point in my life I was certainly someone who did see them in a wrong way but I'm different now.
practical_romantic
7mo ago
Just based on your posts today, I might avoid the trap of thinking any sort of sexual interaction seals the deal in terms of affection--it doesn't. In fact it isn't a measure of much at all, in and of itself. The everything that comes before and after are much more relevant.
This is something I fear, I finally liked a girl for real after a while and there is a very high chance that she will not like me back or it wont work out. I really want it to. It seems cheesy and something out of the movies to rush to meet some girl I have not even slept with hoping that she will like me. She finds me sexually attractive but I think that I am extremely unattractive so I do have some issues there as well.
I've read you using PUA terms and having a very casual terminology regarding women ("oneitis" etc.) and this gives me considerable pause. Women/a woman is not the answer to all of your problems, nor is doing a bunch of drugs. This may already be clear to you, of course.
Oneitis is a fairly benign term. You are correct in pointing out how women are not the answer to all my problems. I fear that I look at them as a crutch so that I can avoid solving actual active problems that are harder to tackle. I have a constant ever-present fear that I am not smart/hardworking enough to ever amount to anything at all. The only ways around this would be actually doing things well (startup stuff in my case), working on my past trauma through some modality and learning to manage my issues more actively.
This may already be clear to you, of course.
In ways but constructive feedback helps me a lot.
Yeah, please do tell me what I did wrong. I am being completely sincere in this since she was dragging me to eat her out.
I was wrong hence the question.
I am finally out of the limbo and will start pushing updates.
I met a girl who I actually like. I did not end up fucking her and she is in the south of thailand till the 24th before she flies out so I may fly to meet her if I think she is into me.
I made an infamous post back in 2021 where I fucked up by not meeting a girl I liked then, I do not wanna do that now.
I loved the drugs. I should have tried a higher dose of both acid and shrooms and also done ketamine. Just lacked the money. I see this as one off experiences and not a lifestyle thing anyway.
tl;dr - Went to Pai, did drugs, met a girl, didn't have sex, and I think I really like her.
I've been in Chiang Mai for over a month to work on a startup. My co-founder and I decided to pursue separate aspects of the business, with me focusing on code generation and broader AI stuff. I won't divulge more until I have something concrete to show. This left me with some free time, so I started visiting nightclubs to improve my PUA skills. While I didn't pull any girls, I made some progress.
I met this guy from my hometown in India who, in hindsight, was a total creep and loser. He suggested I go to Pai for more parties. I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, so I was hesitant, but my co-founder convinced me. I planned to stay for a day but ended up staying for six.
In Pai, I made some great friends. There was Alessio, a 35-year-old Italian songwriter traveling for seven months, and Dario, a Spanish guy a year younger than me who loves partying. I approached many girls, tried shrooms, and even had girls come back to my place. In the midst of this, I met a girl who changed everything.
She's my age, owns a house, and works as a programmer specializing in RPA. She's around 5'9 and in great shape. People who know me might remember my 2021 March incident, where a girl I was obsessed with ended up with other guys. Up until last week, I was still hung up on her, but this British girl changed that.
My Italian friend said hi to one of her friends at a pizza shop, and I started chatting with her other friends in the kitchen, where I first met her. We bumped into each other many times on Walking Street and later at a bar. She told me she wanted to shag me at first but changed her mind after I opened my mouth, saying I was too much of an asshole and trying too hard. I left, and she started making out with another guy. I went to another place, and she ended up there too, dancing with me.
At one point, she sat on my face while I was sitting on the bleachers. I made some jokes about mutual oral sex, and she stopped, saying it wasn't happening. I left and later told her to fuck herself when I saw her again.
I saw her the next day but didn't say a word. The day after, we exchanged glances, and I went on my first-ever date. We kissed goodbye as she had a flight the next morning, while I stayed for two more days.
I fucked up. I should have eaten her out when she asked, and we would have had sex. I've never been teased this much by a girl. I want to meet her again. She's in the south of Thailand until the 24th, and if she still wants to fuck me, I'll take the first flight to meet her. I won't make the same mistake as last time. It might seem beta, but I like her. She comes from a humble background and has made a good life for herself. She seemed genuinely happy, and I hope to meet her soon and spend the night with her.
My friends convinced me that if she's into me, it's worth a shot. Maybe she could even be a co-founder since she's good at coding.
Back to Pai
I did drugs in Pai - acid, shrooms, cannabis edibles, nitrous oxide, and even liquor. This was the most fun week of my life. We'd wake up late, explore the beautiful mountains, visit nearby scenic spots, and then get fucked up. One night, I did shrooms with some girls and blacked out, convinced they were going to molest me when we left my room. I had earlier spoken with a German guy about how he would have to leave me back to where I live if I got fucked up. He was making out with this girl, saw me sitting in a balled-up position, and helped me get back home with the girl helping me out too.
I had a guy help me get water at 5 am only for him to later tell me that he passed out next to the river. Or the time we rode scooters to the waterfall where I was high sitting behind my friends, or the time I helped Alessio walk back to his place while we both could barely walk from the edibles in the rain. It felt like something out of a video game.
I have so many stories to tell. I feel happy, after many years, I finally felt happy for more than a few hours. It's more than what I deserved frankly. I left and bumped into these Norwegian girls who did a bar crawl. Overall, I am happy, I hope you guys are too.
I want to visit Pai again, maybe in the future once my startup stuff pans out, perhaps I can convince some of the friends I made there to travel once again. I feel a warm glow even describing the things I did there. This was the first time in my life where I traveled alone and did drugs. Pai is magical. Cheap, clean, small, safe, only tourists all around you, mountains all around you.
See ya folks later.
practical_romantic
8mo ago
I am in Chiang Mai, finally got concerta and it was life-changing. Went to a local digital nomad meetup, I cannot drink or smoke lol so just hung out and met a few people. It was ok, I met some fun people but others were sorta not as interested in talking to me as some others were. Very interesting people though, not super successful but interesting. One ran a video editing and animation agency out of his phone and was telling me about the various women he had dated from various nations he had lived in. I also met this really really pretty Spanish girl who looked very French, unfortunately, I could not do much with that but it was quite fun lol. I do wanna meet her again, my PUA skills need some work lol.
How was your week and any suggestions? I am no longer sad or depressed. I will write up more about the effects of concerta in the Wednesday thread.
practical_romantic
8mo ago
I finally arrived in Chiang Mai and it has been a rollercoaster. I am on methylphenidate and got Concerta for the first time in my life. I popped the 5mg of methylphenidate and will pop one more at lunch but I feel very sleepy on it, very slow too, I hope concerta is different. I was going to mix the two today but will avoid it as that might fuck me up. My mental health is very very fucked up. I feel highs and lows and hope that the ADHD meds, working really hard and being accountable now that I can work will help me feel normal again. I do not want to be known as the guy who just talks and never does anything.
I had to pay 5k baht for 30 tabs of 18mg concerta btw, a hefty hefty price. Besides that, I am learning more about PCB stuff and electronic design in general. My startup works on these things and I am super new to it so in case anyone here is familiar with electronics and electrical stuff then I would love to chat with you.
I do feel a lil different here. On one hand, I miss my family, my home and the place I spent 24 years of my life in but otoh as much as I may love my family, they are toxic but not something I blame them for. My co-founder is a great guy, he started building stuff on his own and was able to earn enough to pay for uni in the US based on that and wants me to be able to learn enough about the electronic design and supply process on my own so that I can help him in building this thing.
So his expectation of me is to be able to understand basic design and sourcing guidelines so that I can at least talk to users once this is done and be able to understand what they mean. I do not need to be able to do everything from scratch and don't need to be comprehensive but need to go beyond surface-level stuff and fast.
Thailand is quite a trip. You see quite a few Westerners here who want to have a good life but at a low price point and so work jobs that pay them enough to live here. for us, it is a temporary stop as I want to get funded and move to the US based on that.
Anyway, I hope everyone does well. Have a great week folks and wish me luck, I do not want to fuck this up unlike everything else before since all I ever do is fuck up in my life. I hope to make good use of my second chance and learn fast! Godspeed!
practical_romantic
8mo ago
Yeah lol. Regardless I will do my best to recover asap, be super productive and do well in my startup. Every day I wish to move to the US even more lol.
practical_romantic
8mo ago
Yeah, I feel better today. I should start meditating daily. Dont think I can for a retreat for the next few months but this si something I would love!
practical_romantic
8mo ago
I will leave for Chiang Mai this Monday instead of last Sunday since my co-founder fell sick. I am still a ball of anxiety and feel that I am room temperature IQ, but it is what it is. I will carry some books and watch PCB design lectures on the flight.
My Sunday was spent in Delhi. One of my relative’s wives has stage 4 cancer, and it was heartbreaking to see her condition and how her family felt. The economic impacts are very severe too. I was there for about 10 hours, spent some time in the hospital, and then with a friend.
Recently, I saw some videos on the YouTube channel Academy of Ideas. I want to try a meditation retreat or live alone without social interactions or texting, as Carl Jung did for a few days in Bollingen Tower. Being on screens and constantly communicating with people is very draining. I mostly use social media for sex and fear of missing out, but I honestly think I would find a retreat fun.
On a positive note, I read a post by Scott Alexander about ADHD. It turns out my issues are real, and many find help in methamphetamines, with Desoxyn being the name of the pill.
I also watched the fights last weekend. Allen and Aspinall are great talents.
practical_romantic
8mo ago
I mean if you are not married then I would say that you should not marry right away. I do think that the IQ of the maternal family plays a role quite certainly so do think about it before marrying. She might have some really smart brothers maybe but I do not know how much I can say on a wellness Wednesday thread.
practical_romantic
8mo ago
I am back in my hometown, my flight to Chiang Mai had to be delayed since my co-founder fell sick. I also psychiatrist-hopped and finally got a prescription for Methylphenidate. It is sold under the name Concerta which is 18 mg, I got Inspiral which is 5 mg and it kicked my ass. I did not feel anxious but felt a lot of brain fog and drowsiness during the day. But zero sadness. I enjoyed life. I am on 5 mg and will take 10 mg in 3 days.
Besides that I have started reading again, I am reading funders at work now. I can also do isometric workouts plus I lost a lot of shit weight, down from 77 kgs (170 lbs) to now 72 kgs (159) lbs in the past two months since quitting sugar. Besides that, I still am a little scared about the future but I am really really ambitious and will be fine with any amount of pain that comes with startups as long as I can make myself rich.
I will start reading Faust after this though, I got inspired to do this by this ig and youtube account named mystalgix that makes ps2 era type nostalgic art of houses, suburbs, skylines and castles. There is something really serene about castles and European towns that have these structures right out of a fantasy game. European cities, the old ones that still don't have many major modifications are a sight to behold. India lacks clean green areas that are accessible, safe and livable for some reason. Overall I will document my journey with methylphenidate. Would love to hear what you folks think.
I went to SEA to work with my co founder on my startup with him. SEA because it provides a great quality of life on similar price range as India. I was not there to party and did some drugs for one week of the two months I was there. I want to simply make money and for that I will need to travel to the west since that is where you have the highest probability.
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