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Notes -
Has anyone else noticed how, well, schlubby other men in their 30s are?
I'm not particularly fit, nor was I exceptionally handsome in my 20s. But the amount of guys who are halfway to bald, wear a ratty t-shirt everywhere and have a beer belly you could sit an actual beer on is astounding. All of these things are controllable (there are those will who go bald completely even with the total minoxidil/rollers/finasteride, but those are smaller numbers than those who just don't bother), and yet the number of fat, underdressed, balding middle-class white-collar professional guys in their 30s - compared to the same for women - seems absurdly high.
I was attractive in my 20s because I hit the gym a lot. A nice face and a ripped body made it easy to meet women. Post a motorcycle accident big weights are risky for me, so I swim or use an exercise bike instead, keeping myself reasonably trim and fit. I use hair loss products which have slowed my hair loss to a crawl and restored some of what I initially lost, returning me to a 'slightly high widow's peak' situation. I spend a few hundred bucks a year to ensure my wardrobe is updated and I look okay when I leave the house.
I'm not looking for accolades, as I don't feel like I do much beyond the absolute bare minimum, but I'm curious if my experiences are more 'my corner of Australia' or whether they're more universal. It definitely feels like beyond the whole 'wall' meme for women, men are the ones hitting unattractiveness faster. Not intrinsically, but because they're doing nothing to slow or mitigate the signs of aging. I definitely feel like your average 35-year old man is less attractive than a 45-year old who has worked to keep his hair and stay in good shape.
Does this track with anyone else?
Yes, "other" men ... (wince)
Welcome to the obesity epidemic. I'm definitely schlubby, it takes more and more willpower just to barely stay in the "normal" BMI range ... and in the USA that puts me at about the 25th percentile. Three quarters of my peers here are even worse.
I think "underdressed" is a real thing too. Though I can't quantify this one, I get the impression that the dot-com boom basically broke business attire standards for good and the fallout has spread into other contexts. At the low end of the totem pole you had companies having to hire and respect random kids in crude joke T-shirts just to keep their IT up to date, at the high end you had Apple going from circling the drain to a trillion dollar valuation thanks to a guy in jeans and a turtleneck. Great news if you hated wearing a colorful noose every day, not so great if you don't care about fashion and benefited from having a simple set of standards you could follow.
Hair, I haven't actually noticed getting worse in general.
RE: Business attire standards
Casual dress standards look better on fit people and do less to help cover up for out of shape guys. After all, T shirts were originally (circa Brando in Streetcar and Dean in Rebel) regarded as men's undergarments. A t shirt that fits shows muscular forearms, biceps, shoulders, chest; one that doesn't is just a baggy mess that makes you look pudgy or skinny regardless. A tailored structured suit jacket puts emphasis on the shoulders and slims the waist, creating a triangular figure where there might not be one. The weight of the fabric covers up a slight paunch, vests help too. Lapels and spread collars draw the eyes up to the face and frame it, while creating a visual look again of wider shoulders and narrower waist.
The further you are from the ideal male body type (think Michaelangelo's David or Bearded Hercules at the Met) the more you benefit from structured clothing that bulks up an emaciated frame or shapes a pudgy one.
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