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Small-Scale Question Sunday for October 9, 2022

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

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Has anyone else noticed how, well, schlubby other men in their 30s are?

I'm not particularly fit, nor was I exceptionally handsome in my 20s. But the amount of guys who are halfway to bald, wear a ratty t-shirt everywhere and have a beer belly you could sit an actual beer on is astounding. All of these things are controllable (there are those will who go bald completely even with the total minoxidil/rollers/finasteride, but those are smaller numbers than those who just don't bother), and yet the number of fat, underdressed, balding middle-class white-collar professional guys in their 30s - compared to the same for women - seems absurdly high.

I was attractive in my 20s because I hit the gym a lot. A nice face and a ripped body made it easy to meet women. Post a motorcycle accident big weights are risky for me, so I swim or use an exercise bike instead, keeping myself reasonably trim and fit. I use hair loss products which have slowed my hair loss to a crawl and restored some of what I initially lost, returning me to a 'slightly high widow's peak' situation. I spend a few hundred bucks a year to ensure my wardrobe is updated and I look okay when I leave the house.

I'm not looking for accolades, as I don't feel like I do much beyond the absolute bare minimum, but I'm curious if my experiences are more 'my corner of Australia' or whether they're more universal. It definitely feels like beyond the whole 'wall' meme for women, men are the ones hitting unattractiveness faster. Not intrinsically, but because they're doing nothing to slow or mitigate the signs of aging. I definitely feel like your average 35-year old man is less attractive than a 45-year old who has worked to keep his hair and stay in good shape.

Does this track with anyone else?

I think this depends a lot on your circle of acquaintances. Where I work there are maybe one or two fat men out of like... 50 people. And even then I wouldn't really considered them fat or out of shape, they can lift and carry as well as anyone else, so it's more like they're just big. On the other hand, ratty t-shirts are not unpopular and general standards of hygiene are low. Thinking about my own circle of friends, there are guys that have let themselves go, but most of the people I know engage in regular exercise.

I was attractive in my 20s because I hit the gym a lot.

Most people in the average gym, and most people who engage in regular exercise don't end up looking like fitness models. I know people who play tennis or squash regularly, or who go to the gym, or whatever, and they just look... normal. And when you consider spending what, 90 minutes in the gym every day plus travel time, yeah, that doesn't sound like that great a tradeoff for the below-average man to reach average.

I use hair loss products which have slowed my hair loss to a crawl and restored some of what I initially lost, returning me to a 'slightly high widow's peak' situation.

I've always been suspicious of finasteride since I was prescribed it to prevent morning wood.