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This might vary depending on how much you generally identify with characters in movies/shows. I get really immersed when watching something, and that immersion gets stronger for characters who I feel similarity to. For example, if I'm watching a show where a woman is fighting, I feel it in my body. Watching a show where men are fighting, I'm just an observer.
The experience is just fundamentally different for me, aside from any political/societal concerns.
Are you sure this is because you are female? I feel the same way, as a male, because watching a woman fight subverts expectations. If a woman is typically more vulnerable and less aggressive, then it means more to see her fight and risk more than a stronger man would risk in the same situation. Even for a superhero like Buffy, there is power in the idea of what is supposed to be "the weakest" element -- not only a girl, but a pretty girl, and not only a pretty girl but a child -- standing up as the only line between monsters and men. This is (or was, until it got beaten into the ground recently) powerful to a wide range of viewers regardless of their sex. For a more extreme example, the little girl in Kick Ass, who is not even superpowered -- it's extremely emotional to see her mix it up because she is a supposedly weak female child, not because the viewer is a weak female child.
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That is interesting. I always identified with the male characters as a kid. I hated being relegated to the pink power ranger role in preschool. Raven in Teen Titans was the first female character I felt a strong connection with.
Most of the books and shows I was exposed to as a kid featured boys being the main character/hero and girls being poorly written plot devices or hyper-feminine. I always identified (roleplayed in make-believe) as the hero, regardless of gender/race. I wanted to be Aladdin for Halloween and ran into an issue there with the shirtless vest look. But for the most part no one made much of it.
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That is indeed a possibility. I would say I identify with characters in the sense that I empathize with their situation, but not in the sense that I see them as a reflection of myself in some way. For example, in video games the whole concept of self insertion is completely foreign to me. When people talk about it I can intellectually understand what they mean, but in terms of understanding what that is like they may as well be talking about drinking gasoline for nourishment.
So, given that I just don't self insert at all, that could explain why I have no trouble identifying with characters regardless of demographics, and why others do have trouble.
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