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Wellness Wednesday for December 11, 2024

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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TL;DR:

  • My girlfriend rarely exercises on her own and I do not like this
  • I think it will become an issue for her and our relationship down the line
  • Bringing it up is risky and I would prefer not to (she was dismissive last time I asked and said she'll get back to it, but still hasn't)
  • Looking for advice on her to get her to enjoy exercise more.

I do not want her to become reliant on me to exercise for a few reasons:

  • I won't and don't want to always be there to motivate and/or compel her to exercise
  • I'm not interested in dating someone long-term who isn't into exercise because of the greater likelihood they will end up unhealthy (and thus potentially less attractive to me)

Some background on her and us:

  • She is slightly overweight around the belly area and very self-conscious about it. If I said something it would hurt her feelings.
  • She had a personal trainer that she saw 2-3 times a week, but has since dropped him due to increasing costs
  • She has a gym membership that is 10 min from her house, access to an apartment gym, and access to a nice walking/running trail
  • She requires a mindless program: someone telling her what to do and how to do it, whether in the gym or on the treadmill
  • She's used ClassPass in the past and enjoyed it
  • I've offered to buy her a bike for us to spend quality time together riding (I'm a competitive cyclist) but she declined
  • She knows I'm very into exercise and that I would be willing to support her exercise goals

My plan:

  • Encourage us to eat healthily when together
  • Schedule one gym day a week for us to train together at her gym
  • Set New Year goals for each of us and encourage her to have a fitness one (I'm a believer in Scott Adams' "goals are for losers, systems are for winners", so maybe I'll approach the system way with her)
  • She's mentioned a TikTok person has a fitness program that she'd be interested in, but I think it may be too on the nose and she'd take it the wrong way

Any other advice or ideas that have worked for you all, man or woman?

Dance! set up some couples dance lessons, y’all get some quality time, it’s good exercise, you both get happier. as she gets more in shape she’ll enjoy doing physical activity more.