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Culture War Roundup for the week of December 16, 2024

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Freddie deBoer has a new article out in which he argues that our society has become overly permissive (without ever actually using the phrase "the permissive society"). He uses a few recent articles to set the scene (an increasingly defeatist sense among the laptop class that there's no option but to be extremely online; a qualified defense in the New Yorker and New York magazine of the notion of being an iPad parent), before getting into the meat of his argument. Where before our society expected people to behave in a certain way most of the time, increasingly there's a broad sense that all lifestyles are equally valid; that there's nothing wrong with following the path of least resistance (in terms of effort expended), at all times in every sphere of your life; and that people who do hold people to higher standards of behaviour than the bare minimum are being toxic in some way. Where before the expectation was to dress formally in the office, now "smart casual" rules the day (if that); where before it was only profoundly autistic and unemployable men still playing with Lego and cosplaying as Star Wars characters in their thirties, now such behaviour has become entirely normalised among the gainfully employed. The boilerplate celebrity interview question "What book are you currently reading?" was retired years ago: no one is reading books anymore, or if they are, it's the same YA slop their teenage children, nieces and nephews are reading. If modern Anglophone society has a telos, it's "umm, let people enjoy things??"

Freddie's point is well-taken and I agree with most of it: Disney and Marvel adults are contemptible, as are adults taking out second mortgages so they can follow Taylor Swift on tour. Grown adults who don't know how to cook proper meals and eat fast/convenience food for every meal should feel ashamed, even if they don't. Some examples of the trend are conspicuous by their absence: it's interesting that Freddie brings up "adult men who proudly eat nothing but chicken nuggets and Kraft macaroni and cheese" and women wearing snuggies in public without once alluding to the body positivity/health at every size movement, even though it's a perfect example of the relaxing of standards across the board. (I mean, these people spent years complaining about the "toxic and unrealistic beauty standards" promulgated by the fashion industry and social media, and apparently succeeded in replacing them with - nothing, no standards at all.) But one of the specific examples he cites seems oddly in tension with the others:

Authenticity. Closely related to but distinct from selling out was the quest for authenticity - to live a life where the outside matches the inside, to embrace one’s own internal values and ethics in one’s outward behavior, to not try to appear to be anything other than what we truly were. The idea was that we have a true self, or at least true impulses, and we live better and more ethical lives when we allow them to dictate our acts and (especially) our self-expression. When I was in high school in the late 1990s, there was no insult more cutting than “poseur.” But then online life happened, and we were stuck in these various networks and mediums that were fully the product of choices we made, where how we appeared to others was in every sense orchestrated to some degree. Instagram is the notorious example; few of us actually live lives that are composed of nothing but tasteful minimalism, inspiring visuals, and enviable brunch spreads, but that’s how everybody started to present themselves. The idea of authenticity in such a context is rather ridiculous, and so most people let go of it, and now a younger generation has arrived that has no idea what the term could mean.

I agree with him that, in the modern Western world, there's no longer much of an expectation for people to live and present themselves "authentically": among sufficiently online women, using Instagram filters on your selfies is the rule rather than the exception; cosmetic surgery (in both sexes) is more common than ever; the less said about LinkedIn, the better.

But it occurred to me: for all of the other examples of the trend towards relaxation of standards, isn't this precisely how the people engaging in these lifestyle choices would defend them? "I didn't feel comfortable in my own skin wearing a tie to the office - wearing a hoodie and sweatpants makes me feel more like myself." "I used to read boring grown-up books because that's what was expected of me and people would make fun of me for reading Harry Potter on the tube - I like that now I can read Harry Potter without shame." And so on.

What do you think?

Where before our society expected people to behave in a certain way most of the time, increasingly there's a broad sense that all lifestyles are equally valid; that there's nothing wrong with following the path of least resistance (in terms of effort expended), at all times in every sphere of your life; and that people who do hold people to higher standards of behaviour than the bare minimum are being toxic in some way.

Man, I don't agree with this at all! I feel like our hyper-online society is increasingly sorting into hyper-specific bubbles with very strict standards of how you're supposed to behave, with harsh criticism of anyone who doesn't follow the norms. And now that everyone owns a smartphone with an HD-camera, there's increasing pressure to present yourself online with an absolutely perfect selfie in a killer pose. When I look at my parents' old photos, it's mostly blurry polaroids in awkward poses because none of them were expected to be pro models.

there's increasing pressure to present yourself online with an absolutely perfect selfie in a killer pose

I read "No Filter" a while back (great book, btw) and Instagram has actively fought this pressure throughout its existence. They want more content developed, not less, after all.

I have to say, though, that I don't feel like I can't post a sloppy picture, but I do have a bit of a responsibility to my friends who follow me not to create worthless content. A drunken, wheedling, and weepy Facebook status is inflicted on dozens of people instead of being saved for a conversation. A grainy photo of some crappy sandwich isn't interesting. Hell - if I comment here it should have at least some trivial value.

If you're taking up your audience's time, you should care a little about making it interesting. Sometimes, it's not more nefarious than that.

Ok, but what makes it interesting? It used to be that people took photos to comemorate a real moment in time. That "grainy photo of some crappy sandwich" might be the sandwich you ate on your birthday, or you wedding, or your graduation, or whatever. Now, people have to get a catered sandwitch with a professional-looking photo to "remember" those occasions.