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Notes -
To the Motte, Seeking your sage wisdom, I come back asking for advice on how to make an LDR work.
Duration:
Best case - 4 months (with visiting)
Worst case - 7 months (with month long visit)
Medium case - 4 months without visiting
Time Delta: EST vs GMT+4:00, so 9 hours.
Overall sentiments: We want to make it work even though it's painful given its a new/fresh relationship and we know each other for roughly 4 months. (Things progressed very fast)
I am aware of the common pitfalls, failure modes, ways to make it work. But what are some unknowns and lesser known tips or pitfalls?
One that comes to mind is that undercommunication is a common failure mode, but so is overcommunication. Couples tend to overcompensate for the distance, but as a result overwhelm each other with their constant digital presence, which ultimately harms the relationship. I'm not sure exactly how to pull this off given my girl wanted almost constant communication while she was here and was very needy.
Another failure mode seems to be doing an LDR at all. Things would have picked up just fine once the partner was back and resulted in a healthy relationship, but going through an LDR results in the potential relationships failure due to the challenges it brings. I don't think this is a good strategy if things are already serious.
What are the signs you know it will work? How to make it work? Give me all your LDR knowledge.
Not sure how prone you would be to cheating but really avoiding even the first step that would lead to that process is key.
Specified date nights is big, but then occasional phone calls when you're free and walking somewhere. That can help alleviate her stress if she's an anxious texter and you aren't a big one.
Possible to play a game with her at the same time? Could be anything - animal crossing for instance
Playing a game is a great suggestion, it offers a pleasant distraction and a shared focus for something external to the relationship. Having nothing but updates on how each other's life is going can get a bit monotonous so building up some shared activities will help prevent falling into that.
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