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Culture War Roundup for the week of February 10, 2025

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Threatening dogs, on the other hand, especially if there are a few of them, especially if they're bred to be guard dogs, is an entirely different matter. The dogs are, in some deep sense, unreasonable. They literally can't be reasoned with. So they function as facts about the world that have to be navigated around, rather than as potential debate partners.

There is an additional factor here- if your threatening dog menaces someone, and you didn't sick it on anyone, the dog may be confiscated and euthanized, but you will not go to prison. On the other hand even holding a gun or knife in your hand while issuing demands is legally fraught(even in self-defense friendly jurisdictions, the rule of thumb is generally that if you weren't threatened enough to kill you weren't threatened enough to pull a gun). "Get off my property!" while holding a gun is de jure a serious felony; a loud and threatening dog is a matter for animal control at worst. If your dog actually attacks somebody it will probably be euthanized, but again, you are unlikely to be in legal trouble- unless somebody can testify that you yelled out 'sick!'- and even then, the legal trouble will be far less than that of even holding a gun in your hand.

Dr. Strangelove, DVM: Yes, but the... whole point of the dog... is lost... if you keep it a secret! Why didn't you put up the sign eh?

Boy DeSadeski: It was to be announced at dinner on Monday. As you know, our father loves surprises.

To deepen the metaphor even further, while buying into the market of poorly-bred attack dogs does earn you social disapproval, that doesn't seem to amount to much in the end--people keep breeding and buying them, and dogs continue to end up unfit to live in normal human society (and thus, sometimes being put down).