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Notes -
"Gabrielle Darone".
If a trans woman stuck to "relating their own experiences," what place would they have in a group for pregnant and lactating women?
I guess I'm confused. From the OP I had the impression Darone concealed the fact that she was trans and had posted in the group as if she had actually been pregnant and had a miscarriage. The posts linked seem like the total opposite of that. Darone was up front that she was trans and that her pregnancy was simulated rather than actual. She does in fact seem to stick strictly to her own experiences in the posts in question. The screenshots do not show other members' posts but the way Darone talks about them it seems like other commenters were broadly supportive.
What am I supposed to be mad about?
I didn't follow the story myself, I only know how it was reported second-hand on Twitter, but my understanding is that Darone:
(1) Simulated being "pregnant" in a group for pregnant and lactating women. (2) When her "'pregnancy" was supposed to come to term, roleplayed having a miscarriage, simulating her supposed grief at not having a child, and expected the women in the group to support her the way they would for someone who had actually had a miscarriage. (3) When some women (including some who had actually had miscarriages) objected to this, they were kicked out of the group.
I don't think anyone is demanding you be mad about it. But if you find nothing unobjectionable in this behavior, I question your "confusion."
I think what Darone did was weird but as long as she was up front about it and other group members seem broadly ok with it then I don't see the issue. As to (3) I would be interested in seeing the objections. I can imagine them taking forms for which I would have a problem with their being kicked out and forms for which I would think it was fine.
And if they said "you're not a woman and this is in bad taste"?
I could go either way. I see how it can be in bad taste but I also see why a trans positive space wouldn't permit members to misgender people.
Why should a lactation support group be "trans positive" in the sense that they can't tell a trans woman that she cannot lactate or miscarry?
Trans woman (and cis men) can lactate, though. I think if people want a group that didn't allow people like Darone they should be free to start one. Not every group has to have to the same rules about posts.
Men can lactate if they have unusual medical conditions, or are pumped full of hormones, and even then they cannot really "breastfeed" except in a sort of performative manner.
I mean, come on, most women don't join a lactation support group thinking they need to specificy that it's for women who lactate. Additionally, when a group does try to specify that it's for women only, it tends to get attacked and deplatformed. In a significant sense they are not free to start a group that would explicitly exclude someone like Darone. If they did, you would probably say they deserve to be pilloried for being transphobic.
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