Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.
- 138
- 1
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
Court opinion, simultaneously hentai-adjacent and terror-inducing:
A husband and a wife are sleeping in their bedroom. The wife, a labor-and-delivery nurse, is suddenly called to the hospital in the middle of the night, and does not wake up the husband to tell him that she is leaving the house. The couple's daughter has a nightmare and enters the couple's bed (an occasional, but not frequent, occurrence). The husband wakes up and attempts to initiate sex with the wife through digital penetration. Being half-asleep (a heavy sleeper with the disorder of sleep apnea) and in a pitch-black bedroom (with blackout curtains due to the wife's inconsistent sleep schedule), he fails to realize that the 37-year-old wife has left and the 11-year-old daughter (who is similar in size and shape to the wife, and has developed pubic hair) is there instead. After the daughter realizes what is happening, she fully wakes up the husband, who apologizes profusely for the accidental digital penetration.
Three years later, the daughter confides in a friend that the husband accidentally penetrated her digitally. However, the friend thinks that the touching was intentional rather than accidental, so she reports it as a crime. The husband is charged with "aggravated sexual abuse of a minor under twelve", is found guilty by the jury, and receives from the judge the mandatory minimum sentence of thirty years in prison.
The appeals panel vacates the conviction by a vote of two to one. The prosecutor presented absolutely zero evidence that the digital penetration was intentional rather than accidental, so no reasonable juror could have convicted the husband of the crime "beyond a reasonable doubt". (The dissenter thinks that the jury was perfectly entitled to disbelieve the husband's assertion that he couldn't tell the difference between a 37-year-old woman and an 11-year-old girl.)
Huge girl and tiny wife? I suppose this is physically possible. But seems damned unlikely.
Quote from the defense lawyer's closing statement (part of document 100 on this page):
Sure, it's possible. Wish I had photos for morbid intrest.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link