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Notes -
I went out with some male friends last night, hit up several (PRICEY!) bars in our downtown area.
Saw some small groups of ladies out. A few times I watched a random guy approach and engage in conversation, but they usually disengaged and left after a couple minutes, with no apparent exchange of numbers or anything. So not an obvious or dramatic rejection, but not a success either.
Question: Is "buy those ladies a drink" even a viable tactic anymore?
And if drinks are super fucking expensive ($14+ for a cocktail these days, so buying 3 would run you $50) how could you possibly justify the cost unless you had a legitimately decent odds of success?
In my opinion as an alcoholic barfly who actually worked for the bar for a few years: maybe (in the right bar in the right location, but sure as shit not the bar I worked at), but no. For context, the bar I worked at catered (or at least aspired to cater) to grad students and professors in a college town, wound up being a hangout for retired/nearly retired professionals during happy hour and townie millennials during night shift (This demographic is rapidly aging out of the bar scene to an extent that the bar faces an existential crisis because Gen Z doesn't really drink that much.)
The odds are long, and worsened by the fact that bars are A. sausagefests and B. often skew old in their clientele. The drinks are cheaper at the place I worked at, $10-$12 cocktails, yes, but we also sell $2 PBR pints as long as the distributor doesn't screw up and run out of them, $4 domestics (including Miller Lite and Yuengling pint cans, Budweiser stuff comes in 12oz bottles), and $8 shifties (any domestic plus any well shot; my usual is a Budweiser with a shot of Jameson). You justify the cost because you like drinking and talking, and while getting laid probably isn't in the cards a good conversation probably is. As the millennials age out even the "interesting conversation" part is starting to become questionable.
In my experience young (and especially young and attractive) women rarely come to the bar alone, usually with a friend/spouse or in a group of friends who are having their own conversation and don't want an outsider butting in. There aren't dramatic rejections; you just pick up on the fact that you're not part of the group and that their conversation, game, or whatever was for them, not for you. The rare young woman who does show up alone (usually in-between relationships) will be subject to insane amounts of competition for attention from every single guy aged 21-80. The older guys have the money to buy her drinks and are sexually non-threatening, and thus will win most of her attention.
Very early millennial to Gen X and older women (and men) tend to be way less introverted and more willing to talk. It's hard to pry younger people away from their phones.
This has been my primary observation. Any woman who is out is always accompanied. Sometimes its by a less attractive friend who can police the men, other times its a gang of girlies who are just out to get some instagrammable moments.
Last night there was a squad of stereotypical 'bros' (zoomer edition) sitting at a table near us. And one (1) lone woman who I assume was one of the GFs.
There was a squadron of girlies wearing matching outfits that were all attractive but very inward facing, and you could read the signs of 'self policing' where none of them were 'allowed' to go talk to a guy even if they had the inkling.
And the one thing you NEVER see is a lone woman, at least not one who stays still for very long.
As a male, you begin to realize is that for the amount of money you'd spend on a night out swinging futilely for a date, you could subscribe to a handful of girls' onlyfans accounts and be GUARANTEED a positive interaction, you'll get to see boobs and cooch if you want, and she'll at least pretend to find you attractive.
I could do a whole screed on older (and I'm starting to count myself in that number) guys who can just burn wealth and leverage their experience to monopolize a woman's attention, even if he doesn't really want to take her home. The boomers who were raised on "keep women happy and safe" will sometime lavish their oodles of money on women just because she's there.
Which makes the young upstart, with his entry level job and studio apartment (if he's lucky) seem like a loser by default.
And Mr. Boomer will probably blame the guy for lacking confidence or failing to close the deal without noticing how his own presence has changed the very nature of the game.
This is your opportunity right there. Since 90% of guys will hit on the more attractive woman, the less attractive one is used to used to her getting all the attention and ends up playing sheriff out of resentment, if nothing else. If you hit on the less attractive one, she feels validated, and the more attractive one is both relieved that she's not the one getting hit on and feels good for her lovelorn friend finally getting some action. And if you start talking to a group of girls, always be prepared to hit on the least attractive one in the group. If this girl is a real dog, then don't necessarily throw in the towel, but have realistic expectations.
Used to be you could bring a reliable wingman for that purpose.
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