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Friday Fun Thread for April 4, 2025

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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From New York comes an interesting demonstration of how intestate succession works when all the decedent's close relatives are dead, forcing the administrator of the estate to search for distant relatives. If I cut out a bunch of supporting evidence, it looks like this:

Gary S. Stomporowski, a bus driver in the Town of Cheektowaga, died intestate at the age of 68 on September 26, 2021, leaving an estate valued at approximately $250,000.

Decedent's nearest living relatives were a maternal aunt and numerous cousins on both the maternal side and paternal side. Letters of Administration were issued to two of those cousins—Diane Sikorski, a paternal first cousin, and Tina Niespodzinski, a maternal first cousin.

At the kinship hearing, three witnesses testified: Tina, Diane, and Timothy Deck, a genealogist. I find all witnesses' testimony to be credible and persuasive. Five exhibits were entered into evidence, including a binder of documents compiled by Deck.

I find that that decedent was not married at the time of his death.

I am able to conclude, based on the totality of the evidence before me, that decedent had no children and the class of children can be closed.

Under the totality of the circumstances, I find that both of decedent's parents predeceased him, and the class of parents can be closed.

I am satisfied that decedent had one sibling, Timothy, who predeceased him, and that this class can be closed.

Based upon the testimony of Tina and Diane, I find that the class of nieces and nephews is closed.

Included in the Genealogist binder were copies of death certificates for both paternal grandparents: Isadore died on September 23, 1928, and Michaeline on March 4, 1959.

Based upon the totality of the evidence before me, and based upon the thorough research conducted by Genealogist Deck, I find that decedent had four paternal aunts who all predeceased him and the class of paternal aunts and uncles can be closed.

I conclude, based upon the evidence before me, that Sandra and Diane, both claimants herein, were the only children of Aunt Stephania and Bronislaus.

I find, based on the evidence before me, that Dennis, Kenneth, and James were the only children of Aunt Frances and Victor, and that all three survived decedent and are claimants herein.

Based upon the totality of the evidence before me and based upon the thorough research conducted by Genealogist Deck, I find that decedent was survived by five paternal first cousins, Sandra, Diane, Dennis, Kenneth, and James, and that the class of paternal first cousins can be closed.

[Maternal grandfather] Frank died on May 28, 1964, according to the death certificate included in the Genealogist binder. Despite the absence of a death certificate, I am satisfied that [maternal grandmother] Anna predeceased decedent.

Based upon the totality of the evidence before me and based upon the thorough research conducted by Genealogist Deck, I find that decedent was survived by one maternal aunt, Agnes. All of the other maternal aunts and uncles predeceased decedent, and the class of maternal aunts and uncles can be closed.

Et cetera for 29 letter-size pages in total. In the end, more than three years after the decedent's death: each of five paternal first cousins gets one-tenth of the estate (1/2 ÷ 5); a maternal aunt (who died while these proceedings were ongoing) gets one-fourteenth (1/2 ÷ 7); and each of 16 maternal first cousins (of whom one died while these proceedings were ongoing) gets 3/112 (1/2 × 6/7 ÷ 16). (The divisor of seven comes from the one inheriting maternal aunt plus the six dead maternal uncles and aunts who were the parents of the 16 inheriting maternal first cousins.) Note that attorney fees (in an amount still to be determined) will also have to be paid to the lawyer who was appointed by the judge to serve the interests of the non-Diane/Tina heirs as "guardian ad litem".

If you want to prevent all this rigmarole from happening when you die alone and unloved, write a will! (Don't forget to check your jurisdiction's laws, too. Some jurisdictions require witnesses for a will to be valid, but others do not.)

I actually used to have to do this kind of genealogical work when I was in oil and gas. It's a pain in the ass, and a lot of time you simply can't find anything. That being said, this is a little easier since you're only trying to figure out who the living heirs are, and not who the living descendants and devisees are of a guy who died in 1906 and had 9 children.

If you want to prevent all this rigmarole from happening when you die alone and unloved, write a will! (Don't forget to check your jurisdiction's laws, too. Some jurisdictions require witnesses for a will to be valid, but others do not.)

Don't DIY your own legal work; hire a lawyer. It's not expensive and it's easy to fuck it up if you do it yourself.

Gonna +1 on hire a lawyer to write your will. I gotta figure, if you have enough money to actually care about where it goes when you die, paying a tiny bit for an actual lawyer to do it is a no-brainer.

I'm following a lawyer's advice and will keep a tractor fender close by, at all times.