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Wellness Wednesday for April 9, 2025

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

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  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

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I wish this were more surprising to me. One of the weirdest things about reddit (when I used to frequent that site many times daily) was the seemingly ubiquitous acceptance as completely normal the enjoyment of what was called, to everyone's apparent satisfaction, "butt stuff." Now given that the male prostate has nerve endings and thus stimulation of the perineum can result in arousal, I suppose ramming objects into one's anus is, in the list of degenerate behaviors, probably not the most incomprehensible. But you'd also have girls (on reddit you never know if every single thing is a lie, mind you) discussing how they would wear something called "butt plugs." To say nothing of anal beads (I think "butt beads" would be more catchy). And whatever else those are in the illustrations for that list, which I did not read.

This forum is generally much younger than I am and probably I sound quaint or naïve or similar. I do not understand the pull (or push) of ass play.

Edit: I do not know why I wrote "male prostate" instead of just "prostate."

Just stimulation of a different sort, I guess? I don't understand why rimming/being rimmed would be appealing at all outside of dom/sub dynamics but it also appears too often to just be coincidence.

I would expect this to be a preference somewhat affected by porn as well simply because the concept of anal is obvious to basically everyone, but normal enough in porn that it doesn't seem completely absurd. As far as practical matters go it's more difficult, and these things are a more limited version of that. Of course the usual suspects blow that out of proportion and complain that "girls are being asked for anal as soon as the third date", but the whores left the barn on that matter 60 years ago.

thus stimulation of the perineum can result in arousal

There's a reason prostate exams are a meme, and it's an orgasm modifier for when you get bored/want variety (intensity can come from novelty). I don't know what the equivalent is for women, if there is one, due to the inherent lack of that part, though there are probably a few things you could do in that case if you fill both holes (I don't believe reach-arounds are uniquely a male/male thing).

To say nothing of anal beads

Grip 'em and rip 'em, like you're pull-starting an old lawnmower; I'm told that really gets the motor running [SFW]. In all seriousness, the reason you'd use that is because pushing things in there is actually rather painful, so being able to break that up rather than continually insert an approximation of a cylinder is important mostly while going in. (There's only one Kirk Johnson, you know.) That's also why the plugs are shaped the way they are- it's generally uncomfortable to continually have that part stretched that far, which is why they taper off at the base then flare out again (so you can grab it for extraction).

As far as constantly talking about it... it's Reddit, what do you expect. It's not like 4chan where, while you could always do this, you'll also get 70 replies calling you and everyone else a fag for posting about it.

[cw: probably implied tmi]

I don't understand why rimming/being rimmed would be appealing at all outside of dom/sub dynamics but it also appears too often to just be coincidence.

In straight porn, it's much more likely to be dom/sub or degradation stuff, especially straight not-pegging stuff, but that sells it a bit short. For the gays, a lot of it's psychological for non-dom/sub reasons, either a way to formalize preparing to top/ready to be topped, or as part of other play to help loosen someone up.

That said, there are some physical bennies, including many that aren't readily achievable in other ways. It's great for getting someone more in the mood before starting to stretch them out, for example. For the rimmer, there are some sensory benefits (if the rimmee is scrupulously clean; there's reason I joke about it being the only good arg for dental dams), but like eating someone out in other forms, it's very much about what you bring to it: if you're really focused on how your partner's reacting it can be a fun time from watching that. For dealing with women, you want to be a lot gentler and a lot more certain that everyone's on the same page, but it's a great option for people who like the sensation of hotdogging but don't like insertion there proper.

There's a lot of prep work involved, and it's definitely not for everyone, but it can be worth it.

There's a reason prostate exams are a meme, and it's an orgasm modifier for when you get bored/want variety (intensity can come from novelty).

It can, but there's some pretty serious practical differences long after any novelty's gotten the chance to wear off. Not all those differences are for the better -- they're a lot less forceful, so to speak, sometimes to the point of being minimally 'productive' -- but the difference in refractory period is measurable.

I don't know what the equivalent is for women, if there is one, due to the inherent lack of that part, though there are probably a few things you could do in that case if you fill both holes

There are also sex toys that focus on backdoor and clitoral play, as well as some that are intended for the clit, front, and back. All are generally a not-favoured realm for more reputable companies, though, given the risks of cross-contamination.

In all seriousness, the reason you'd use that is because pushing things in there is actually rather painful, so being able to break that up rather than continually insert an approximation of a cylinder is important mostly while going in.

That's, uh... not the only use case or argument for the design. Pressure on both the prostate and the rim is a significant part of the point (both in and out), and being able to have regular increases and decreases in that pressure can be beneficial. Beads are also built so that they can physical fit in lengths that would otherwise not be practical, even compared to similarly slim semi-rigid toys.

That's also why the plugs are shaped the way they are it's generally uncomfortable to continually have that part stretched that far, which is why they taper off at the base then flare out again (so you can grab it for extraction).

Partly, but also so that they can fit in and stay at a consistent depth, rather than getting pushed out. The flare, conversely, is more important to prevent anything from getting sucked up there.

There are toys designed for large and continuous insertions. Some of that's size queens, but with the right textures and reasonable sizes they can work out for normal butt people -- they're not as good for prostate play, but a lot easier to work with if you're focused more on the actual motion going in and out.