The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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Dear Mottizens who are adult children of divorce (Yes, ACOD that exists), Any words of advice on someone who will probably join your ranks soon?
It's not exactly a secret (to me) that a large portion of my happiness is contingent on my parents happiness. Unfortunately my mom and dad are like oil and water. They are both good people, but not for each other. And they will probably split up soon.
Situation obviously sucks for me to even think about because;
Parents will be lonely. That too as they get older. My younger brother left the country for college and that was difficult for them to deal with, I will leave the country for graduate school too in a year and that will be very difficult for them.
My mom can't financially support herself. I'm not in the position to financially support her in the short term.
My moms side of the family is scattered all over the world, and she didn't do quite a fantastic job of making that many lifelong friends. So, her loneliness will become a crippling issue.
Neither of them is in the best of health.
I won't be able to return to their country for a very long time.
List goes on.
I wish I could give a rats ass about my parents like many do, but for the good and the bad, I can't. My parents always tell me to not worry about them all that much and worry about myself. That is rational. I know that intellectually, but deep down within me I fail to see a life where I am happy where my parents are not. I wouldn't say I am a "mamas boy", just that my relationship with them is good, perhaps one of the few good things I have.
You go to tell them to fuck off and live your own life. It may seem mean but there is no other way. It's not your problem if they are lonely or have no money. They had their whole lives to figure that stuff out. Now it's time for your life.
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