The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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Notes -
Any tips to avoid 'keeping score' when it comes to living with others? I understand it's an unhealthy mindset to have, but I can't help but feel that I pull more of the weight in my current living situation.
We've tried sitting down and formalizing who does what - but then the chores don't get done in a timely fashion and it drives me crazy, so I do them anyway.
Both of us work full time and have busy lives, so I understand that things slip through the cracks. But over time it does wear on me. How have y'all figured out how to deal/live with a situation where you don't feel the housekeeping is equitable?
A one-off action that I would strongly suggest and which shouldn't take much effort to do is to minimise the potential for mess to develop. A sink full of dirty dishes is a lot easier to tackle if you only have 4 dishes available instead of 12. If the bin is always overflowing get a smaller bin. If you have 6 dirty tea towels get rid of half of them. Don't have open shelves brimming with knickknacks.
Beyond hiring a cleaner or living alone there's either conflict with no guarantee of resolution, or accepting a choice between coming to terms with doing the chores or coming to terms with the chores going undone. Right now you're getting the worst outcome by doing the chores while bristling that they're going undone. You can either enforce your expectations or adjust them, whichever path you take you'll have to trade something away.
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